More Friday Funnies.............

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Jun 14, 2002 | 10:51 PM

Mil1ion

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More Friday Funnies.............

The other day I was in the local auto parts store. A lady comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all look at each other and ask,

"What's a seven ten cap?"

She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."

"What kind of a car is it?" they ask.

Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she says that it's a Buick.

"Okay, Lady, how big is it?"

She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. "What does it do?" they ask. She says, "I don't know, but it's always been there."

One of them gives her a note pad and asks her if she can draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710 . The guys behind the counter are looking at it as she writes it ... and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard in hysterics. Then one goes and gets an OIL cap for her.

************************************************** *************
Last issue's mention temperatures in degrees Fahrenheit brought the following list of nonstandard measures to mind. I have no idea where it came from, but I'd love to met the person who first thought it up. <g>
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth mouthwash: 1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurts
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarse power
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
500 millinaries: 1 seminary
2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds
1/2 lavatory: 1 demijohn
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
1 million billion piccolos: 1 gigolo
100 rations: 1 C-ration
10 millipedes: 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents: 1 decadent
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms

[font color=red]Dennis

Calgary,Alberta,Canada[/font]

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