Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers!

15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart -- while his wife is taking her
sweet time:


01. Get 24 boxes of condoms &randomly put them in people's carts when they
aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest- rooms.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in
Housewares' . . and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.

06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you
are sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding
Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't
you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
nose.

10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from
Mission Impossible."

12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK
ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . . then yell
loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"

 

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! you had me laughing so hard I almost had a heartattack!

 

I am going to save this and use it next time my wife wants to go.

 

Too funny! You're soooo twisted. It's probably one of the reasons this site ROCKS is people like you. Thanks for the laughs. My wife will rue the day we go to Wal-Mart next.

 

Im still rolling on #3............

Bet you money that amuses any guy that reads that one, and disgust any woman who reads it!!!

LOL--

 

Heck, I work there overnight and I think I'll do this just for the other "associates". They need a good morale booster.

 

That was halairous, i still cant stop laughing.

 

#3 and #5 were awesome! Thanks.

 

Too funny

 

...but wait, there's more...

-take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations

-turn all the radios to a heavy-metal station, then turn them all off and set the volumes to "10"

-re-dress the mannequins as you see fit

-contaminate the entire auto section by testing all the spray air fresheners

-steal the "closed for cleaning" and "out of order" signs from hardware and put them in front of every single restroom

(sorry, had to get those in!)

 

Very good addition i might add!

 

dont forget to go in the mens room and wait in a stall when someone moves into the one next to you throw a wad of toilet tissue with some peanutbutter on it sorta into their stall and say " excuse me , can ya kick that over here please?"
or make all kinds of groaning noises moans etc then drop a watermelon into the bowl from shoulder high after the splash let out a big sigh then maybe bust out into a chorus of " born Free"!!!
or keep muttering " hummus looks like hummus" or " hmmm more sinkers than floaters"

 

Oh.Your bad!

 

Ranger bob, THATS funny

I've read the 15 things to do at walmart in an E-mail like 2 weeks ago, still funny though

 

this being pig pen an open to arguments, I might add WALMART SUCKS BIG TIME