Another joke
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Elder User
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 895
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From: Tampa
Another joke
This is for Wiz
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG TURKEY,
NEW TO THE COOP,
MY BIG BROTHER MIKE,
TOOK ME OUT ON THE STOOP.
THEN HE SAT ME DOWN,
AND HE SPOKE REAL SLOW,
AND HE TOLD ME THERE WAS SOMETHING
THAT I HAD TO KNOW.
HIS LOOK AND HIS TONE,
I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER,
WHEN HE TOLD ME OF THE HORRORS,
OF.......BLACK NOVEMBER!
COME ABOUT AUGUST,
NOW LISTEN TO ME,
EACH DAY YOU'LL GET SIX MEALS,
INSTEAD OF JUST THREE!
AND THEN ONE MORNING,
WHEN YOU'RE WARM IN YOUR BED,
IN'LL BURST THE FARMERS WIFE,
AND HACK OFF YOUR HEAD!
THEN SHE'LL PLUCK OUT ALL YOUR FEATHERS,
SO YOU'RE BALD AND PINK,
AND SCOOP OUT ALL YOUR INSIDES,
AND LEAVE YA LYIN' IN THE SINK!
AND THEN COMES THE WORST PART,
HE SAID NOT BLUFFING,
SHE'LL SPREAD YOUR CHEEKS,
AND PACK YOUR REAR WITH STUFFING!
WELL THE REST OF HIS WORDS,
WHERE TOO GRIM TO REPEAT.
I SAT ON THE STOOP,
LIKE A WINGED PIECE OF MEAT!
AND I DECIDED ON THE SPOT,
THAT TO AVOID BEING COOKED,
I'D HAVE TO LAY LOW,
AND REMAIN OVERLOOKED!
I BEGAN A NEW DIET,
OF NUTS AND GRANOLA,
HIGH-ROUGHAGE SALADS,
JUICE AND DIET COLA!
AND AS THEY ATE PASTRIES,
CHOCOLATES AND CREPES,
I STAYED IN MY ROOM,
DOING JANE FONDA TAPES!
I MAINTAINED MY WEIGHT,
OF TWO POUNDS AND A HALF,
AND TRIED NOT TO NOTICE,
WHEN THE BIGGER BIRDS LAUGHED!
BUT 'TWAS I WHO WAS LAUGHING,
UNDER MY BREATH,
THEY CHOMPED AND THEY CHEWED,
EVER CLOSER TO DEATH.
AND SURE ENOUGH,
WHEN BLACK NOVEMBER ROLLED AROUND,
I WAS THE LAST TURKEY,
LEFT IN THE ENTIRE COMPOUND!
SO NOW I'M A PET,
IN THE FARMER'S WIFE'S LAP,
I HAVEN'T A WORRY,
SO I EAT AND I NAP.
SHE HELD ME TODAY,
WHILE SEWING AND HUMMING,
AND SMILED AT ME AND SAID,
CHRISTMAS IS COMING......
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG TURKEY,
NEW TO THE COOP,
MY BIG BROTHER MIKE,
TOOK ME OUT ON THE STOOP.
THEN HE SAT ME DOWN,
AND HE SPOKE REAL SLOW,
AND HE TOLD ME THERE WAS SOMETHING
THAT I HAD TO KNOW.
HIS LOOK AND HIS TONE,
I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER,
WHEN HE TOLD ME OF THE HORRORS,
OF.......BLACK NOVEMBER!
COME ABOUT AUGUST,
NOW LISTEN TO ME,
EACH DAY YOU'LL GET SIX MEALS,
INSTEAD OF JUST THREE!
AND THEN ONE MORNING,
WHEN YOU'RE WARM IN YOUR BED,
IN'LL BURST THE FARMERS WIFE,
AND HACK OFF YOUR HEAD!
THEN SHE'LL PLUCK OUT ALL YOUR FEATHERS,
SO YOU'RE BALD AND PINK,
AND SCOOP OUT ALL YOUR INSIDES,
AND LEAVE YA LYIN' IN THE SINK!
AND THEN COMES THE WORST PART,
HE SAID NOT BLUFFING,
SHE'LL SPREAD YOUR CHEEKS,
AND PACK YOUR REAR WITH STUFFING!
WELL THE REST OF HIS WORDS,
WHERE TOO GRIM TO REPEAT.
I SAT ON THE STOOP,
LIKE A WINGED PIECE OF MEAT!
AND I DECIDED ON THE SPOT,
THAT TO AVOID BEING COOKED,
I'D HAVE TO LAY LOW,
AND REMAIN OVERLOOKED!
I BEGAN A NEW DIET,
OF NUTS AND GRANOLA,
HIGH-ROUGHAGE SALADS,
JUICE AND DIET COLA!
AND AS THEY ATE PASTRIES,
CHOCOLATES AND CREPES,
I STAYED IN MY ROOM,
DOING JANE FONDA TAPES!
I MAINTAINED MY WEIGHT,
OF TWO POUNDS AND A HALF,
AND TRIED NOT TO NOTICE,
WHEN THE BIGGER BIRDS LAUGHED!
BUT 'TWAS I WHO WAS LAUGHING,
UNDER MY BREATH,
THEY CHOMPED AND THEY CHEWED,
EVER CLOSER TO DEATH.
AND SURE ENOUGH,
WHEN BLACK NOVEMBER ROLLED AROUND,
I WAS THE LAST TURKEY,
LEFT IN THE ENTIRE COMPOUND!
SO NOW I'M A PET,
IN THE FARMER'S WIFE'S LAP,
I HAVEN'T A WORRY,
SO I EAT AND I NAP.
SHE HELD ME TODAY,
WHILE SEWING AND HUMMING,
AND SMILED AT ME AND SAID,
CHRISTMAS IS COMING......
