Having Trouble With Your BEER ? .....

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Jul 31, 2002 | 12:43 AM

dassmoof

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Joined: May 2001

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Having Trouble With Your BEER ? .....

Jul 31, 2002 | 08:52 PM

Mil1ion

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Joined: Jan 2008

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Having Trouble With Your BEER ? .....

Beer Troubleshooting

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward
ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of
face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi
home.

SYMPTOM: Dashboard suddenly takes on colorful aspect and
textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

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Jul 31, 2002 | 09:09 PM

Carlene

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Joined: Feb 2001

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From: Silver Springs

Having Trouble With Your BEER ? .....

Been there & done that in my younger days!

Carlene

Jul 31, 2002 | 10:12 PM

Ultramagdan

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Joined: Feb 2000

Posts: 11,496

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From: Kansas

Having Trouble With Your BEER ? .....

That's hitting awfull close to home there mil1ion. By the way your new image is ..er..ah..revealing, yah, that's the word I was looking for

Jul 31, 2002 | 11:54 PM

Jen

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Joined: Mar 2002

Posts: 275

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From: College Station, Tx

Having Trouble With Your BEER ? .....

>SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
>FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
>ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

This one most applies to me...

Gig'em

Jul 31, 2002 | 11:58 PM

Mil1ion

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Joined: Jan 2008

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Having Trouble With Your BEER ? .....

That's too funny Jen, Alan sent me a picture of someone.

Now you answer with this.
So now I'll think of you.

If you want to see it,E-mail me directly

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Aug 1, 2002 | 10:32 AM

ForDen

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Joined: May 2002

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From: 5280 Feet

Having Trouble With Your BEER ? .....

I'll have to remember to keep a copy of this with me when I go out tonight!! Had to take tomorrow off to go to the International in Castle Pines, so I might have to indulge this fine evening!