I've seen this a thousand times in the military. I'm so sorry Tom.

First off, please tell me that you didn't give your GI bill.

Is child support going to come into the picture? If so, what will the state of Minn. mandate and what will the Army mandate? The Army will likely run you through the cleaners before the state does.

Your kids will maintain their military tricare coverage I'd assume. Your wife will be on her own.

At this point you need to be able to eat and pay rent. I think I'd check into revolving debt consolidation and a possible refi on the truck to extend what's owed back out to 72 months. The truck will last and will hold great value even with high miles and some age. You're going to take that $4000 hit regardless.

Another solid option is a private sale on the truck. Perhaps you could get enough or closer to enough to get out from under it. There's plenty of warranty remaining and I know you've cared for the truck in expert fashion.

Call me anytime Tom if you need to talk.

 

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I've been in the same boat a few years ago. I would try to sell the truck or refinance it with a credit union.

I sold my truck when I went through it and it was a great feeling getting rid of the debt. As others have stated trading it is going to make things that much worse in my opinion. I'm seeing credit union rates at 2.49% which is a lot better than your current 5.8%.

I wish you well. Things will work out for you in time!

 

Thanks a lot, everyone, I really appreciate the different perspectives.

I'm very fortunate in the revolving debt category. $30K in credit cards, and thanks to being active duty and SCRA they are all at either 4% or 0% APR...which is less than my truck. Refinancing them wouldn't make them joint, but I couldn't come close to that interest rate.


That's all certainly true. We've been amicable about things thus far, but the issue is follow through. Our finances will be separate on the first of next month. Problem is...my name is on most of her debt. Her share of living expenses and student loan premiums is around $2,200 that comes out of the joint account. She put in about $1,200 over the last two months. This woman grosses $10K/month when she's working full hours, and she's been blowing through it...presumably on the homewrecking douchebag she's fallen for.

The most frustrating part of all of this is that there should be more than enough money to go around. She lacks all spending discipline though, and I can't support all of the debt in my name by myself.

I'm very blessed to have some awesome family. My parents will help with anything I ask of them...just last week I had to borrow money to pay the bills due to aforementioned irresponsibility. Part of the reason I'm so freaked out right now.

I'd happily refi for a lower interest rate, but I'm not extending the loan anymore. Big source of my issue right now is being upside down on the loan, and I'm not going to make that worse. I'm currently financed through my credit union, but due to revolving credit balances I don't qualify for their better rates. If I can manage to pay down these cards I should be able to. My parents would cosign if I asked them to...but at 31 years old that's a tough thing for me to ask for.

Nope, I never made that jump. What remains of my GI bill is mine.

Dunno...I'll be down at Fort Knox for SLC for the next three weeks, and I hope to be able to meet with the JAG office while I'm down there. We've tentatively agreed on $1,000 for child support, and splitting up assets and debts after that.

Possibly, I'll have to look into it. I was offered $27K at two different dealers, but I made it clear I wasn't buying that day, so I didn't push the deal. I would shoot for $29K, but not sure if that would happen.

 

Buy a bigger Truck. The debt is half hers.

 

Sorry you're going through this. I too got divorced while in the Army.

First off, get a new account for your direct deposit and your own expenses. Then you can control what she has accesss to in the joint account.

Do not make a major financial move at all right now, even if it looks like it is saving money. You don't want her or her lawyer to point a finger at you saying that you make rash major purchases. Especially when you're trying to make a case that she is irresponsible with money. The judge won't order you to sell a truck that you're upside down on. It's an expense that will have to be accounted for, so leave it be for now.

Plus, you have to keep something for yourself right now. You don't want to feel like you lost everything. I've been there and it sucks. From what you've said, she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself if she applies herself. Don't give up and be left with nothing.

In a situation like yours, get legal advice before making these big financial decisions.

 

thats what I did. and my ex couldnt say anything.

 

Honestly I have 2 young boys 14 and 11 and your situation is probably my biggest fear for them. I know it's not what a 31 year old guy wants but if the option of living with parents for a bit to get things turned around was in play I'd want my boys to take the hand up regardless of their age. Pretty sure it's been mentioned but don't assume anything as far as her being amicable, protect your interest until the ink is dry on all the papers.

 

Tell your lawyer to get her to pay her half, and he can do that. the judge can order her to do that. my brother did that.

 

It's one thing for a court order to assign debt, but it's another thing to actually have that happen. A court order wouldn't remove my name from any of it, which means they're coming after me if it doesn't get paid. We're not even fighting over that...we've agreed to split most of it, and we're trying to file amicably. Problem is follow through after it's all said and done.

 

Bummer dude. I went through something similar about 4 decades ago. The good thing (for me & and at that time/place) was that the numbers involved were a lot smaller (as was my salary, etc., etc., etc.). It was all still very traumatic, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

Thanks again everyone. I'm down at Fort Knox at the moment, so I won't be in the same state as my wife or truck for three weeks if everything goes well. I should have some time to think things over without all the distractions.

 

Tom, I have no idea what its like to be going through what you're going through and am not qualified to give much advice here.

That being said, my entire career is in the world you describe. You need to sit down with your SSO and talk about this situation, regardless how it goes. The key to security is to be open about it with the SSO. They will be able to get the right paperwork filed and the right things done so you don't lose your clearance.

Don't keep this a secret from security. That is the quickest way to get your clearance pulled. I know plenty of people who filed for bankruptcy or defaulted on their home loans in Vegas in 2012 and they kept their clearances.

As for the truck loan issue....that's a tough one. I would not go more upside down trading the truck for a used car. You'll be in worse shape for a long time when it comes to the value of the vehicle vs what you owe if you wrap up the negative equity into a used car loan with a higher interest rate.

 

Tom, I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I don't have any real advice for you, but I wish you the best. I hope everything works out smoothly for you.
Parker

 

How much is the truck worth as a private sale instead of a trade? In my experience you never get as much on a trade as you can selling to an individual.

 

KBB says it's worth $30K to a private sale, but I'd lose over $2K in sales tax on the replacement if I go that route. $27K was the opening offer from both dealers I spoke with, and I think I could get another thousand from either of them if I pushed things.