Just wanted to say have a safe and good Thanksgiving everyone

 

Right back at ya Apoc! Likewise to all other FTE members! Happy Thanksgiving!

 

This is not Excursion related.... why isn't this thread locked up yet?

Who hauled their turkey home in their Ex? Anyone haul multiple turkeys?

Happy Thanksgiving, brothers and sisters.

 

We hauled fruit and stuff from Fl to NC in our Excursion. 40* here now my FIA Winter Front is keeping the PSD and us nice and toasty..

Happy thanksgiving to everybody.

 

Was a weird Thanksgiving for me. I've been gone for nine years, I enlisted and left when I was 20 so this is the first holiday ever that I've been home for. Never felt so alone in a house full of family and friends. It never really occurred to me that while I was gone, everyone else's lives would continue on, and they'd grow and develop together. Didn't fit in anywhere and ended up leaving after two hours and going home. Not one conversation I could fit into despite trying too, no memories to share that held interest with anybody, ugh.

 

Totally feel you on that We moved up by the wifes family and when we go see her dad and her step moms family I'm totally invisible. They all hunt (sometimes during the holiday visits) for a few hours and bring back dear, they watch "the sports" and call each other by their first name no matter who they are. Wife and I got in a huge fight over the fact I wouldn't call him "Wayne" and insisted on Mr.Andrews and shaking his hand every time we met. Sorry, ****ing military says you aren't buddy buddy with a superior officer. I know he's just another man, but to me in my eyes he's more trained and skilled at life and therefore deserves respect. Without that we would have anarchy... maybe that's to far but still. All the beer drinking and hunting and family that lives within 10 miles of each other VS. us 4 hours away and having not one damn thing in common. I hate going so much.

 

Brother, I know just how you feel. It is good that you stayed for the two hours though. This could easily turn into an awful problem if you let it. It is true that life goes on without us when we deploy or are assigned to someplace thousands of miles away. When I got back, both times, I could not believe how different everyone was. It took me a long time to realize that I was more different then they were. That does not mean there was a problem with me, it just mean I had different life experiences.

The military does not know how to teach us to reconcile those differences when we get home. Heck, the DoD only recently started teaching its personnel that the differences WILL exist when we get home.

However, it is important to remember that the holidays are not about "us" as in you or I as a single person. The holidays are about family and it is possible to reconnect with them.

My favorite Thanksgiving was spent in Iraq when I ran into my brother over there. We ditched the looong line for the chow hall and sat by ourselves in the Subway on camp, eating some turkey subs.

It has been my experience that there is no substitute for time when trying to assimilate back into the civilian world. Also, taking things like family get-togethers a bit at a time, like you just did, helps.

Keep in mind that this phenomenon is not confined to you, brother. Many of us have been in those shoes, and we are here for you.

 

Apoc, military and civilian life are completely separate things, and that is for a reason. Imagine if everyone were switched "on" 24/7. Not only would that be a boring life, but being switched "on" 24/7 is simply too stressful on us. There must be some downtime.

Heck, even in the military, there are times when nobody has rank. You are all just there as human beings, and you socialize in that manner. You will never have a way to relate to your wife's family if you do not develop one that is palatable to both sides. Surely there is something upon which to develop a relationship.

I am not saying you or your approach to socializing with the in-laws is wrong, but your in-laws also have a socialization comfort level. The best course of action might be to find a happy medium, even if it is for the "selfish" reason of maintaining peace with your wife!

 

It just feels so damn disrespectful is all

 

I'm sorry that I missed this one. To all who have spent a Thanksgiving (or many) away from their loved ones I wish them all a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving. Especially to all the veterans and those who live a life of service. "Family" holidays are just weird now. . .

 

Thanks Ben, Apoc, and FLO, I appreciate it. I didn't want to say anything at first in the chance that it would dampen the holiday spirits but I couldn't really find anywhere else to let it out.

You're absolutely right about the military not teaching how to reconcile with family. They do a great job NOW of telling us how to change our attitudes and demeanor for the civilian work sector or for school, but not about how to deal with the invisible, yet still looming chasm that develops between one's self and their family. I'm 29, and I felt like the awkward kid in the corner of the lunchroom in middle school. I had a better time hopping on the Xbox and playing some WoT with a few of my friends that are still active duty than I did in my own house with my own family. Day to day life doesn't have much of an impact, but we're all busy off doing our own thing. I feel more at home at school than I do at home still. Hell, I only got out a few months ago in June. That coupled with the divorce coupled with not having any legitimate friends that are close (with the exception of Razzi and a few guys from school, but even they are over an hour away) is different. Top it off with my daughter residing with her mother and it just seals the deal for feeling off in my own little corner of life most of the time.

Time will fix things I know, but for some of my family time is rapidly running out and that stinks more than the current situation. Time also requires money sometimes, and that is also something that's definitely lacking lol.

I won't lie, I am absolutely dreading Christmas now. The military made holidays not mean much to me anymore, I'm sure a lot of others feel the same way. Between working the day before, day of, or day after or getting stuck on duty - they ended up being just another day to me. Over the years, it's had its impact and toll on my outlook on the holidays. Just like you said, they're about family all together, not just a few select members of one. On that front, that is something I personally need to work on changing and I'm thankful I can at least recognize it and strive towards changing it.

 

The other option is to do your holidays at some sort of veterans establishment. The first thanksgiving and Christmas after I got out my wife and I spent at a veterans hospital/gathering point. We were able to get my brother, brother-in-law, and father-in-law to go with us a few times. It made my transition a little easier. One other option is to try to hook up with your active duty friends for the holidays, even if it is the day before or day after. Good luck and God bless.

 

Happy late turkey day, guys.

I hauled a ton of food in my Ex to my moms house where 23 of us gathered for a great time.

My sisters three oldest sons (two in the Marines, one in the Army), were able take leave and make it back for the gathering.

Stewart

 

That part was supposed to be funny. The rest of it was for fun.

Matt, most of life is what you make of it. If time is short with some folks, I bet you can find a way to make the time, eh?

I was GOING to haul my ATV over to my brother's place with the Ex to have some fun with my niece, nephews, and daughter, but the darn ATV apparently needs a battery something fierce.

 

You're being selfish, maybe the ATV wanted some alone time. Stop thinking about yourself and put the ATVs feelings first