On the first day God created the cow.God said"You must go to the feild with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun,have calves and give milk to support the farmer.I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said,"That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years?Let me have twenty years and i'll give you back the other forty."And God agreed.

On the second day,God created the dog.God said,"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said,"That's too long to be barking.Give me ten years and i'll give you back the other ten."So God agreed(sigh)

On the third day God created the monkey.God said"Entertain people,do monkey tricks,make them laugh.I'll give you a twenty year life span."

Monkey said,"How boring,monkey tricks for twenty years?I don't think so.Dog gave you back ten,so thats what i'll do too,okay?"And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man.God said"Eat,sleep,play,have sex,enjoy.Do nothing ,just enjoy,enjoy.I'll give you twenty years." Man said,"What? Only twenty years;no way man!Tell you what,I'll take my twenty,The forty the cow gave back,the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back.That makes eighty;okay?""Okay,"Said God."You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat,sleep,play,have sex,enjoy,and do nothing;for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren;and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house barking at everybody.

Life has now been explained!



Wiz

[link:www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html|"Wiz's Place"]

 

I think you've hit the nail square on the head. Thanx for the laugh!!

 

I have a sticker that reads as follows:

Success is.....
at age 4.... not peeing in your pants
at age 12... having friends
at age 16... having a drivers license
at age 20... having sex
at age 35... having money
at age 50... having money
at age 60... having sex
at age 70... having a drivers license
at age 80... having friends
at age 90... not peeing in your pants!

dj

 

Actually DJ it goes like this

> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE , THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
>
> 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
> 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
> 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
> the second person.
> 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
>
> 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
> 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> 3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
> 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
> 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
> 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the
> joy.
>
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
>
> 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
> 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
> 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
> 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
> 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody
> bothers to ask you the questions.
> 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
> 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>
>
> THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>
> 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
> 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
> 3) You are Santa Claus.
> 4) You look like Santa Claus.
>
>
> SUCCESS:
>
> At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
> At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
> At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
> At age 35 success is . . .having money.
> At age 50 success is . . . having money.
> At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
> At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> At age 75 success is . . having friends.
> At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
>

[font color=red]Dennis

FTE Assistant Administrator
[/font]

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i like this thread. learning a lot about life today!

 

[updated:LAST EDITED ON 12-Sep-02 AT 09:05 PM (EST)]> i like this thread. learning a lot about life today!


Don't you mean your learning about what you have to look foward to


Wiz

[link:www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html|"Wiz's Place"]