Check me on this, guys...

So I let my son use the Bronco to go to the grocery store yesterday. As usual, big mistake. He get's a flat. Here's where I have a problem. We live about a 10 min walk from the store, and instead of calling me to come change the tire out, or God forbid, change the flat himself, he drives the truck home on the rim, and completely shreds the tire.

I'm furious. Wife tells me to let it go, because he's just a kid, what does he know. He's 27, he ain't no friggen kid! Is it just me, or can I safely expect someone with more than three brain cells to know better? I mean, really, it's one thing to have a blow-out at highway speeds and lose the tire trying to get safely to a shoulder, but he was in the store parking lot!

"Yea, drive it home, I'm too friggen lazy to even consider my options, I'll drive it home and let Kevin worry about it there."

Yea, well, it's raining outside right now. I've got a mind to drive his computer out to the front yard and let him consider HIS options when he get's home this evening....

 

Well man...I'm pretty old fassion so my opionion would lean to old school.

I've always told my kids that when you borrow a vehicle, or anything else for that matter, you are 100% responsible for whatever happens to it when you have it. Don't matter if it's their fault or not, if someone keys it while you have it, it's your deal, you take care of it.

So just put the ball in his court. He borrowed it, he got the flat, he drove it home. Now he needs to put it back to just how it was when he borrowed it. Make him own the responsiblity of the flat as well as "his" decision to drive it home.

My daughter ran into the back of my Excursion when she borrowed her mother's car. She was freaking out. I just calmly told her she's fine, nobody hurt, you just gotta fix it. She bought the front bumper cover, had it painted and I did all the work . But she learned a valuable lesson...you are responsible for whatever happens to that vehicle when you have the keys.....PERIOD!! My other daughter did something similar and did not own up to it....and she has never borrowed it since. When her car broke down, she walked and got rides...dispite there are 3 other cars in the driveway...tough!!! She proved she will not own it when she drives it so no second chances.

So tell your son...fix it and we're good...or you'll never drive any of them again. I put it in their terms. If someone borrowed your truck and they brought it back damaged...would you let them borrow it again?

 

I would have to totally agree with what Kevin said.

He's 27, tell him to fix it. I told both of my kids that they NEED to know how to change a tire if they are going to drive.
My dad (who never worked on a car) told me when I started driving that I could either get a job making enough to pay someone else to fix my car, or I could learn to fix it myself.

 

God, I hate conflicts, especially in my own home.

This is a kid of the "New School", who expects magic to rule his life (read: someone else will take care of it)

Frack it. He's at classes all day today, and I need the dang truck. I'll do it myself, and deal with it later the next time he want's to use one of my vehicles. I know it sounds like I'm just postponing a showdown, and I guess I am, but I don't have the time for this crap right now. Maybe he don't learn from his mistakes, but I sure do. This won't happen again, I assure you.

I'm disappointed that I haven't had more of an impact on the kids in this house. I would of thought my examples would of meant for something....but I guess not.

Bummer.

 

I hear ya brother....but try not to let the drama take over. Just take care of your truck and let the boy learn his lessons the hard way. They are all different and no matter what you do...they eventually make decisions on their own and do things their way.

Like I said....out oldest took to it all very well...took care of her business and still does. About a year after she wrecked her mother's car, she drove her's out of oil. She paid for all the parts herself...new crank, 2 new rods, new rings and it was back up and going...and still is. She learned her lesson and at 21 years old, probably takes better care of her car now then most of us!!!

Her little sister....ummmm...total opposite. So all you can do is lead by example and hold them responsible. They're still going to do things they're way!!!

 

I would hand him a copy of the bill and expect payment in full. I would give him no more than a week to pay it up. At the end of the week, if he hasn't paid it by then, I would tell him that he couldn't borrow another vehicle until he paid said bill WITH interest. Period.

 

Yup....I have a list on our fridge of all the crap that "the little sister" has had paid for and owes me for!

 

Boy, some of you guys are pretty harsh.

If my kid borrowed my car and it got keyed in a parking lot, I wouldn't expect him to pay for it out of his own pocket. That's what insurance is for.

Even if I didn't have insurance for that, that kind of incident is a random act of aggression not caused in any way by him or his actions and expecting him to pay for it just doesn't seem right to me.

Now, if he took it to a seedy part of town and the scratches were because he didn't pay off his drug supplier, the situation is different..........

 

No you're right...I wouldn't expect them to pay out of their pocket. But if there was a deductable I would expect them to pay that. What I do expect them do to is "take care of it"...even if that's just making the call and figuring out what needs to be done. Something besides just walking away from it and leaving it up to me. It all depends on the "attitude" of it all. If they give it an honest shot at making it right then we're all good. But if they walk away from it....then it's time for a little lesson in life.

And yeah...I've been accused of being a little too harsh at times. I never know what the right answer is, probably because there never is a "right" answer, and I might get a little tough.

 

Accidents may happen, but negligence can be avoided.

Sorry to hear this happened. At 27 years old he's got to know better though...

 

Frack it. He's at classes all day today, and I need the dang truck. I'll do it myself, and deal with it later the next time he want's to use one of my vehicles. I know it sounds like I'm just postponing a showdown, and I guess I am, but I don't have the time for this crap right now. Maybe he don't learn from his mistakes, but I sure do. This won't happen again, I assure you.

I think this is part of the problem with the young generation coming up today-they do not feel any "pain" from their stupid decision, and it ends up impacting someone else.

I would have him pay the damage plus your labor and to help him with understanding the "pain" I would park his computer out in the rain. As far as borrowing the vehicle in the future-Hell No!

and yes I am a hard *ss

 

He ruined the tire, he should should replace it. As insurance to make him pay for it, I would remove the hard drive from his computer, and keep it put away until the tire is replaced.
Computers won't work without the hard drive, just as vehicles shouldn't be driven on flat tires.

Yep, I'm an old school hard nose......

 

My feeling is, at 27, he ought to know better. Heck, that's only 6 years younger than I am...

That being said, I once borrowed an old Buick from my dad when my vehicle was broken down, to commute to work in Winchester. Before I drove off he said, "Take it easy with that thing, it ain't been runnin' quite right and the oil has been disappearing somewhere."

On the way home that night, the thing started overheating. I stopped and let it cool down. Oil was a little low, but not critical, but there was the Dreaded White Gunk. Let it cool down a little more, topped coolant off with some water, and then limped a quarter mile to the nearest exit and parked it. Called him and we talked about rented towing vs. coming to pick it up on the flatbed, and he decided he wanted to come with the trailer and get it himself.

We got it back to the shop and tore into it. Turns out the intake manifold gasket was leaking, and from the condition of the bearings, we both agreed that the problem was preexisting and had been going on for some time.

So we just junked the car. It was in pretty rough shape cosmetically, anyway.

I guess what I am trying to say is (and don't take this the wrong way; I dunno what kind of condition your Bronco is in, but you seem like you take care of your stuff, so I expect you're in the right on this one): If I borrow a nice car and break something, sure, I'm happy to fix it myself (and indeed have an obligation to do so). But if I borrow a clunker that hasn't been taken care of and the drive shaft falls out 2 miles down the road because the u-joints have never been greased, I'd help them fix it, but I'd be a little nonplussed if I was asked to pay for parts in that situation.

So...
- If your spare is decent and full of air, then I come down on your side, and make him fix it all himself.
- If your tires are bald all around and your spare is flat, then I still think he should've called instead of driving it like that, but..... I wouldn't make him replace anything other than the rim, if he damaged it, and I'd do the work myself (perhaps requiring his help, since he was driving it).

I wouldn't mess with any of his stuff. That'll just lead to resentment and escalation, I'd think. Taking away the computer might work on teenagers, but 27 is a little old for that kind of thing, imo, and if he ain't got the picture by now, likely he'll have to "get it" on his own some way (no offense intended).

Was it truly laziness? Or did he just not know any better? We live in a world where people don't work on their own stuff anymore, and it's just assumed that someone else will be paid to fix stuff (which is a rather pathetic way of thinking, imo, but that's the reality of the world outside of Podunk). I'd cut him a little slack (but still make him help fix it) if he just didn't know any better (as silly as that may seem), but if it's pure laziness then I'd bring down the Wrath of (Insert Deity of Your Choice). In a calm and controlled fashion, of course. Blowing your top never helps matters with folks of that age. ;3

 

He's 27 and I'm 25, I have a wife and soon to be 4 kids, with a house and all the resposibility thats goes with it.
My dad died when I was 10 and my mom got into drugs. So if I wanted a reliable vehicle I had to maintain my own. When I would borrow my step-dad's trucks I would treat them better then my own. Check fluids daily and keep the inside and outside clean. I figure if I was putting miles on them it should come back in nicer condition do to the wear I put on it, AND FULL OF FUEL!
I can't even imagine doing something as dumb as that especially 10min from home. I wouldcall just to get a decent jack and lug wrench instead of the ford supplied ones, just to make the job easier.

 

Man your sure a nicer person than I am. I think he would have instantly known how upset I was.