My friends, I have a 'predicament'.

You see, I just got word (a couple of days ago) that a very special young lady (from my youth), is having a very serious health issue.

She and I were verrrrrrrrrry close. (So close, we almost wed.)

Now, here's the situation.
She's married and has three kids. (As you know, I'm married and have 4 kids and an 'extended family', complete with son-in-law and grand-daughter.)
Her husband knows about me (and our previous relationship), and my wife knows about her, etc., etc., etc.

This woman is very near death.

Would you try to contact that person, if it were YOU?????
She's halfway across the country, so, 'no personal visits' are possible.

If 'things' had been just a little different, this woman would have been my wife for close to 40 years.

Not too many things affect me now, but, this sure is kicking me in the head and butt.


What would YOU do?????
Would you call, to say, "Good-bye"?
Would it be appropriate???

 

You have to do what you feel you should do.

Avoid the un needed sorrow of regrets if there are things that still are still unsaid.

Obviously you are struggling with this situation, even if you are not
A religious person, spiritually a prayer for your friend will beneficial for
Her and may help you to discover a path for you to take.

Praying/meditating/centralizing for ALL involved will shed light on the situation.

Seeing that this is in GNA, I will end this here.

 

Two things. First, always a mistake to try to go back in time. Second, let sleeping dogs sleep.
Nothing wrong in remembering some good times in the past but leave it there.
Just my opinion.

 

keith, what i would say is first i am sorry to hear about your friend..

my advise would be this. as long as your motivation is this. sincerely just wanting to say good bye, and nothing else i would contact her. but if there are any other motivations, like what could have been. then i would say no..

But man it is your call and they way i see it is i would want to say good bye to my friend. I hope this helps.

 

Sorry about the news of your friend. Did you stay in touch over the years? If so, I would contact her , otherwise just say a prayer for her.

 

You already said goodbye Keith. Quite some time ago. Let bygones remain bygones and keep the memories in your heart.

No matter how you put it to your wife, and how accepting she is of it...it will sting a bit.






You can trust me on this one buddy.

It is better to have remorse that you didn't speak to the past...Than to have remorse that you did.

 

Keith, you clearly still have feelings for this women, that's natural IMO.

I would sit and chat with your bride and then go from there.

 

I have regretted little in life that I have done , but much that I didn't do and should have ..

 

i was trying to figure how to word my response, and read this.
this is exactly what i was thinking. i could not have said it any better.

 

thanks tom.. i was hoping my babbling made sense lol

 

If you and your wife agree on it, I would contact her to let her know you are thinking of her in this difficult time of her life. I'm sure both she and her husband would appreciate it, and it will give you peace. There is only one chance.......there will be no additional chance down the road. Remember, the only one you have to satisfy is the guy in the mirror..............Good Luck and God Bless.

 

I would ask permission from her husband - if it causes him no hurt I'd bet she would love to hear from you.

This happened to me with my ex wife and while our marrige was tumultuous at best, our conversation surrounded only the positive things. Her sister told me that after her passing our conversation made for a great distaction while in progress and allowed her to focus on fond memories.

 

Only YOU can answer this one Keith...........

I think a letter would be best, ..........possibly hurting your brides feelings would not be something to do.

 

I wouldn't do it.

There's only room for one girlfriend in my life.

 

Thanks, everyone, for your input.

I discussed this 'issue' with my wife (whom I love with all of my heart) and she said that she 'understood', and knows that this previous relationship was when I was just a 'young lad'. (Wow!! That was soooooooo long ago!)
I really love my wife!!

I honestly didn't know how this woman's family would act or react to me calling.
She and I had not kept in touch, and the last time we spoke, was about 25 years ago. (She did keep in touch with my Mom, through Christmas Cards and Birthday Cards, etc.)
This beautiful young woman and I dated for over 2-1/2 years. We were removed from each other's lives, when her parents moved away.


This 'situation' or 'predicament' has resolved itself.

I got a phone call at 1:17 a.m., this morning, from a young lady telling me about her Mom's passing.
This young lady is 28! (Almost my daughter's age!)
Her Mom passed away at 1:09 a.m. EDT. (12:09 CT)

She told me that her Mom had mentioned me, and that she wanted one of her kids to tell me that she thought of me, but, their Dad was the 'one man' in her life.


It seems that 'my predicament' was resolved by a higher authority.

Ya know, I never really give much thought to losing close friends, or how it would affect me.
Yes, I've lost quite a few good friends to that terrible disease known as Cancer. This wonderful woman was 55, and Cancer had taken it's toll, through her liver and brain.
I've lost friends from car accidents, and from war.

Only the loss of two children have hurt, more.


I apologize for my 'ramblings'.

Sincerely, thank you for your opinions and thoughts.

I have some good friends, here at FTE.