Been divorced for a year after 25+ years of marriage. Very tough, and I understand how tough it feels. Plenty of good thoughts and support here. It will take a long time to get back to normal, but it will happen. Best wishes for you.

 

Sorry to hear that Rockin 300....
I had my ex wife for 5 years (B/f-G/f), and as some of the ppl on here know the story, I had to divorce her before we were even married for one year....Then AFTER the divorce I found out the dirty ***** was cheating on me.....

And now I have a much BETTER g/f......Basically she's everything I want and more....

So keep ya head up Rockin 300, you'll find bigger and better...

-Wes

 

thank you guys alot i know one thing she wont get my trucks in the divorce and im takin the kids from her to

 

Rockin, for some reason, they will go for your very soul. Don't show no interest in keeping anything until it nears the end, then make your demands. It throws them off so bad, they cannot deal with it. I did mine the opposite until the final hearing. I then told the judge that I did not want a damn thing, only free, she granted it immediately.

 

Me, too....But, damned if she didn't get the stinkin' "T" shirt...

But, yep...been there myself. 1979/1980. Married 9 years. Between working on the road and military stint we didn't get to keep up with the little things that help a couple grow together.

I came home after a two week road trip at about 11:00 P.M. My wife was sitting on one end of the couch and I sat down at the other. I looked over at her and asked her when she was leaving...She looked at me and said " I thought we'd leave in a couple of weeks. And that was that.

She and my then 8 year old daughter left for Mom's, 6.5 hours away, a couple of weeks later at 9:00 in the morning on what turned out to be Father's Day. I guess, I don't have to tell any Dad here how emotional that was. Neither she or my daughter realized it was Father's Day. I didn't mention that little bit of trivia to either of them until 15 years later.

My dedication to work / travel (instead of the relationship) also cost me a fiancé which was particularly devastating.

Then, on the rebound, enter Mrs. kw5413. We were both reluctant to push the edge of the relationship but, saw the light and 27 years later she is my best friend. Hell, she has to be pretty tuff 'ol gal to put up me.

So life goes in cycles and most things happen for a reason. Though, sometimes the reason is hard to understand and it sometimes takes years before you know how a past event really affected your present.

Keep your head up high and know that the sun shines on another day. Good luck to ya.

 

I was married over 21 years when we split. Things had not been good for the last 10, but we were both too stubborn to cut our losses,,,

And now, 7 months later,,, it has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. We are both happier for it!!! We have managed to remain friends, even watched the game together yesterday!!!

Try to keep things civil,,, because you are so right,,, it's the kids that get hurt the most.

 

shes trying to be nice to me but im not buying it

 

Great advice from Bunny...keep it civil...you and the wife can rationalize things...the kids cant. They need lots of love and support...from both sides. Also...lots of good advice from others!!!

In the interests of full disclosure...I've never been married...but..I have been engaged three times. The first one ended in my fiance passing unexpectedly...the second two I came to my senses before it was too late!!! Cost me two engagement rings...but...that's a small price to pay!!!

 

Been there and done that twice now. The first one I couldn't have been happier to get out of, and the second one broke my heart. I won't get into my own story but rest assured it sucks. It will cost you a lot of money and the emotional toll can be huge. If you let them, the negative emotions can rule you for the rest of your life, ending the chance of you having another good relationship. When it's all over, just don't dwell on the past. Don't "hate" your ex, and always try to focus on the present and future.

While you're going through it, try to just survive through one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, just try to make it through today. Worry about tomorrow when it comes.

And get a good lawyer - borrow money if you have to! It's worth it.

 

My poor 'ol Grand Pappy used to say that "DEvorce is the screwin' you get for the screwin' you got"

So yes, get a good lawyer.

 

While I agree about getting a good lawyer, my ex and I were mature enough to realize that when lawyers were involved in a divorce, only the lawyers come out ahead so we agreed to do our divorce sans lawyers. Financially, I took it up the rear initially but, in the long run, I came out way ahead since my ex looked at short term gains while I looked at long term gains. The real gain was being able to keep my (then future) retirement intact instead of splitting it.

For me, divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

I DON"T WHAT I DID TO DOUBLE POST SORRY.

CRAIG

 

Nick, Sorry to hear of your divorce. Yea getting a divorce is a real hard thing to go through. I was fortunate in mine not to have kids. But it was still not easy. I dated for years until I met my present wife. I was 46 & she was 37 when we met & a year later we married. I'm one of those guys that much prefer marriage to being single.
There has been a lot of good advice & suggestions given here. I don't know how I could add anything. The civil attitude towards each other is maybe the best thing I read. She is the mother of your children. Nothing will change that. As for a lawyer, if you two can come to an agreement & be civil you have options. If not then you will have to do it completely with lawyers. Remember one thing to get you rights to your Social Security & any retirement you may have through work. I don't know how the laws read now but when I got divorced it was spelled out that I retained my rights to those.
Best Wishes & we are here for you.
Craig

 

I came out ahead on mine as well. She wanted her maiden name back...I wanted the tax deduction till age 18. She agreed.

 

They are usually nice until they start talking to their friends or a lawyer and then they realize what they can squeeze out of you.. Then the gloves come off..

I worked with a guy, years ago, that his wife left him.. She just said she wanted out and left him with the house and kids.. We told him change the locks and get a lawyer.. He said he didn't want to be mean about it if she wanted out.. Well he went home one day after she talked with her friends and told him she was back and he had to leave..

That's how quick they can change their mind..