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Old Mar 7, 2003 | 09:11 AM
  #1  
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Carlene
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Admom
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From: Silver Springs
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Tech Support

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate


Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly .WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. They could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old stand-by Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved
performance of his hardware).

Good Luck.

Tech Support
 
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Old Mar 7, 2003 | 10:36 AM
  #2  
dono's Avatar
dono
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Joined: Jul 2001
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Tech Support

Tell husband 1.0 that he is about to have a religous experience - a sex life identical to the Pope's. Remember that old saying, "Abstanence makes the heart grow fonder".
Dono
 
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Old Mar 7, 2003 | 11:16 AM
  #3  
88_150's Avatar
88_150
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 73
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From: Loxahatchee
Tech Support

Try the reliable Mistress 3.0, this usaully does wonders for Husband 1.0
 
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