A redneck love poem

susie lee done fell in love,
she planned to marry joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all,
she told her pappy so.

Pappy told her, susie gal,
you'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo' ma don't know,
but joe is yo' half brother.

So susie put aside her joe
and planned to marry will.
But after telling pappy this,
he said, 'there's trouble still.'

you can't marry will, my gal,
and please don't tell yo' mother.
But will and joe, and several mo'
i know is yo' half brother.

But mama knew and said, my child,
just do what makes yo' happy.
Marry will or marry joe;
you ain't no kin to pappy.
***************************
:-x14

 

I love stories with a happy ending

 

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says
to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.