NY'S Let your hair down thread. part two
#91
03-24-2008, 04:29 PM
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#93
03-24-2008, 05:33 PM
#94
03-24-2008, 05:35 PM
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#95
03-24-2008, 08:09 PM
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The Irish Prostitute
An Irish Daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff .... dad .... I became a prostitute "
"Ye what??!! Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad .... as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye,daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership in the country club..." ... (takes a breath) ... "and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera, and ..."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff .... a prostitute, dad! .... sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.
Come here and give yer old dad a hug!"
An Irish Daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff .... dad .... I became a prostitute "
"Ye what??!! Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad .... as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye,daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership in the country club..." ... (takes a breath) ... "and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera, and ..."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff .... a prostitute, dad! .... sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.
Come here and give yer old dad a hug!"
#96
03-25-2008, 12:38 AM
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Mexican Oysters
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's ********* from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The cowboy said, "What the heck bring me an order."
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's ********* from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The cowboy said, "What the heck bring me an order."
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
#100
03-25-2008, 07:12 AM
^^^^