This has been posted before, but still funny.

They Walk Among Us, & that is the scary part!

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that
one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the
opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears
made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you
need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said,
"NO, it's not." Four is larger than two."

We haven't used Sears repair since.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING
sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS.
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceburg lettuce. He was a Chef? Yep...

From Kansas City!
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IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."
Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun.
We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for
the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car,
we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi !

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE!!!

 

theyre everywhere

 

The dealer one sounds about right.

 

idiot sighting in the booth::::ny voted for Hil.. a joke, not a commentary

 

^^^^^liar commie

 

I think I mat have told this one before but it never ceases to amaze me. I work with a guy who asked me what of the week Christmas was on and I said Saturday. He thinks about it for a second then says, "OK, then what day is Christmas Eve on".

 

Read this today, don't know if any else will find it funny--

PITTSBURGH - A 17-year-old boy accidentally shot himself in the leg while standing in line at a McDonald's restaurant and now he faces an illegal weapons charge.

The boy was fiddling with the .25-caliber pistol tucked in his waistband when it fired, wounding him in the upper thigh shortly before 9 p.m. Wednesday, city police Sgt. William Gorman said.

------bet his friends were impressed!

 

Proud day for me, lemme tell ya. The least he culd do is hit himself about 2 inches to the left so we wouldnt have to worry about him passing it on to the next generation...

 

Thoes are so funney

 

good ones....

 

I got one that fits in with this catagory. One time while I was in town, I parked my truck right beside a woman standing beside her Suburban with her shopping bags on the ground, looking a bit frantic. I got out of my truck and asked if she needed any help. She looked at me and asked if I could fix her key fob so she could open her car with it. The battery must be dead, she said, and she could'nt get the doors unlocked.

I took her keyring and looked it over, then stuck it in the door lock and turned it. Opened right up.

Her face turned bright red as she got in her Chevy without another word.

 

That's like the woman I saw down in LI a time ago, puts up the windows of her car and locks it. But, left the conv top down....

 

There may be a dumb criminal, sees the doors locked and the windows rolled up on the convertible, and walks away trying to find an easier haul.

 

Police arrested two teenagers accused of stealing the tires from a Palm Beach County sheriff's deputy's cruiser as it was parked outside the deputy's home, authorities said.

Read the article!

 

Years ago I read about a couple of crooks that stole a getaway car, left it running as they went inside a bank to rob it, came back outside to find the car stolen ... they were caught running down the street.

Another story is about a man who passed a note to a teller demanding money. The teller gave him some bills, including a dye pack, which he stuffed inside his shorts. The dye pack exploded outside the bank and the thief was easily identified.
Then there's the guy who handed a teller a note demanding money ..... written on a deposit slip from his account.