Good Morning All,
I know its been a while since I've given anybody an update. Haven't wanted to post anything cause there's nothing good to post.
Things went pretty good up until Jan., then her pain started to ramp up again. It was uncontrolled even with a 50mg fentanyl patch and 10MG of Oxycodin ever 4hrs! Lots of scans and tests and none of the Drs could narrow it down.
In Mid March we went in for her 12th round of chemo and she basically just went out and they couldn't wake her up. Immediately admitted her to the hospital, 72 hrs later and 6 units of whole blood, they determine that because her liver is so compromised that the pain meds just built up, then when it finally flushed, she OD'd.
While in the hospital they did a enhanced CT scan and found that even with the constant chemo her tumors have tripled since Jan. the main tumor on the liver went from 3cm x 3.5cm is now 8cm x 12 cm. the Pancreas is now fully involved and the arteries and veins for the liver are becoming blocked.
The oncologist gave us two options, more aggressive chemo,(read more side affects), or hospice.
Cheryl hasn't had a good run with the original chemo. lots of blood tranfusions, 60lbs weight loss. zero energy.
I can't see the benefit of making her sicker for what the Drs says MAY gain us an extra 6 months.
But she chose to try it and I pledged to support her no matter what. 1st round 8hrs in the infusion room, 48 hrs at home with a 2nd chemo pump and another day of infusion. Since then I think she's been out of bed all of 6 hrs in the last 10 days. Next week we do it all again. YEA!!!
We are starting to have "those" discussions. what kind of service she would like, what she wants to leave to her boys, what I'm going to do when she's gone etc.
That being said I did go out and start Tom for the 1st time in 8 months. I spun him for about 30 secs in No Start just to get the oil and fuel flowing, them popped him in to 80DD and ZOOM he's up and running! Felt good and Bad to drive him again. Good to back in the big truck and feel the power he has. Bad because it made me realize I'll be continuing on this journey alone.
That's about it for now. Several of you brothers have sent notes or called with words of encouragement, thank you so much.
Barney

 

This is not what I wanted to hear this morning. You both know how Mary and I feel about y'all. This news is tough to bear. I was hoping this was all going to "go away". We will always be here to lend our support. We love you guys and negatives are never easy to accept. Please keep us posted. We will continue to send up our prayers.

 

Sorry to hear this news, Barney. Our prayers are with all of you.

 

Barney,April and I are sooo sorry,other than that,words escape me.

 

You are still in our prayers. Thanks for the update, I'm sure its hard to post less-than-positive stuff. Cheryl continues to show us she is a fighter and she is very fortunate to have you. Stay strong and please let us (the Brotherhood) know what we can do.

 

More prayers sent your way! May the pain subside and allow for a blessed time together. We are all here to provide any support needed.

 

Prayers are with you and your family.

 

Barney, This is way to much for me to handle, way way to close to home. I Will hold you and yours in my folded hands and pray that your time spent togeather is blessed to it's fullest. May God bless you and yours.

You are in my prayers,
Richard

 

sorry to hear the news. you and your family will be in our prayers...

 

Barney, I don't have the words, but I know exactly how that (above quote) made you feel.

Very sorry my friend....truly.

Stewart

 

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. You and your family will be in my prayers.

 

Also not what I was hoping to hear Barney. Me and Sandy are devestated by this news and tell her we're all behind her on this next round. Call me anytime bud. More and more prayers sent.

 

So so sorry to hear that. I will be keeping the both of you in my thoughts.

 

Very sorry to hear this news Barney. I too am praying for both of you.

 

Barney,
I know, having lost my mom in Dec, that there really is nothing any of us can say to fix this problem.
There is a plan in the works that we mere mortal tinker toys just cant sway.


Think of the coherent time you have left with eachother as a gift.
This is really hard to type...

Because you do not know when the tomorrows will run out...

Always say goodbye today.



You are both heavy in my thoughts.