10 Things Ford Truck Owners are Tired of Hearing
1. Can You Help Me Move?
We've all seen the bumper sticker pictured above, and the owner of that truck really needs to slap one on the back. How many of your friends never call or ask you to hang out, until the time comes to move some furniture? It's not as if you call up your friend with a Corvette and ask him if he wants to go drive fast on some twisty roads for the hell of it. If you are a guy 6' tall and over 200lbs, you might get asked this from total strangers when they see you getting out of your truck at the mall.
2. Is That Your Boyfriend's/Husband's Truck?
This one is just for the ladies out there driving Ford trucks. How many times has some obviously envious guy asked if you are driving your husband or boyfriend's truck? Often times this will also include an offer to help you park that big ol' truck because obviously women can't drive and shouldn't drive trucks. Luckily, there's also a bumper sticker for this one.
3. How Many Gallons to the Mile?
Ha, ha, ha! Yes, big trucks get worse mileage than smaller, lighter aerodynamic economy cars, but you can't haul a cord of firewood in a Prius. Well, you could, but it would take you three or four trips, and that is with the Prius V with its larger cargo area. If we go by the EPA estimated mileage, one trip in the 19mpg city, F-150 uses less gas than three trips in the 43mpg Prius. Some of us also need to haul tools for our work, besides an espresso machine and a spoon. Explaining this requires more than just a bumper sticker.
4. Why Do You Hate the Planet?
This one really hurts. A lot of people own trucks because they love nature and getting out into it and away from civilization, so of course they want clean air and water. The fact of the matter is that a diesel truck puts out less carbon dioxide (CO2) and a lot less carbon monoxide (CO) and hydrocarbons (HC) per gallon of fuel burned, and burns less fuel than a gas powered truck. True, diesels make a lot more particulates, but modern diesels have addressed that issue, too. Unless you are one of those guys with a tuner, rolling coal and leaving huge clouds of black smoke behind you, there is no need to feel bad about your impact on nature.
5. Want to Go to Home Depot/Costco?
This one is right there with helping people move, but happens even more frequently: People inviting you to go shopping with them because they can't fit everything into their hatchback. Every vehicle choice comes with pros and cons, and if you want to drive a sporty little car, or something that gets 40mpg, the trade off is you are not going to be able to haul lumber or large boxes. People need to remember, when figuring out how much money they will save on gas, to include the cost of paying for delivery or renting a truck occasionally for the large or heavy stuff.
6. Can You Plow My Driveway?
Luckily for lots of guys, the answer to this one is easy. Yes, for a price. If you live up north, and don't mind waking up early and working odd hours, you can make really good money plowing driveways in the winter. Plowing driveways for free? That is only done for immediate family, close friends and significant others. Don't forget the jacket — "Call mister plow, that's my name, my name again is mister plow."
7. Do You Need a Ladder to Get In?
Some people just don't like lifted trucks. Most of those people live in cities where the streets are as smooth as a pool table and have never seen the sorts of rutted, bumpy, muddy things people out in the country have to drive over. These are the same sort of people that, if they do have a truck or an SUV, would freak out if it ever got a speck of dirt on it. Trucks are tough and some of us have to drive where there are no roads, so we like the extra sized tires and ground clearance only a lifted truck can provide.
8. Can You Tow My Boat/Camper?
Who are these shortsighted people who own a camper trailer or boat and don't have a vehicle that can tow it? Again, just like the trip to the big box store, you ought to think of these things before buying or selling your car. However, if you have a friend with a boat who wants to take you out on it, it is totally worth it. Boats are a hell of a lot of fun, but a huge money pit to own, so you should take pity on boat owners.
9. Are You Single?
It is not just a popular myth; there are studies that prove women find men who drive trucks more attractive. Chevy even made a commercial about it a few years ago when they asked women to rate a guy in a Colorado to a guy in a Cruze (they were the same guy). If you drive a Ford truck, you should be ready for women to assume you know how to fix things and are up for interesting adventures. This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how married you are. Having a truck may come in handy, too, if you have a freak flood on the day of the wedding like this couple.
10. Can You Pull Me Out?
If you live in a rural area or somewhere prone to snow drifts, eventually, people are goign to ask you to pull their weak little car out of trouble. Or, in the case of the picture above, get their GMC 2500HD and trailer out of the mud. As a guy who owns a truck, how can you say no to someone in distress like that? You can't, and because of that you ought to keep a snatch strap in the cab behind the seat just in case.
If one of things you are tired of hearing is the noise from under the hood, fix it with help from the How-to section of Ford-Trucks.com.