Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out
of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.

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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

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There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.

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Life is sexually transmitted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If quitters never win and winners never quit, then who is the fool who
said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get the last word in: Apologize.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they use to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

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AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:



You read about all these terrorists - most of them came here legally
but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15
years.

Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video
and those people are all over you.

Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

 

Those are all true.

 

So true

 

This one's my favorite.

 

I like those

 

One I received yesterday...

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates, it is more like a jar of jalapenos.

What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

 

Addendum to the weeds: Pull everything out, the ones that grow back are weeds.