Happy birthday to me....Yesterday was my birthday ( husband is complaining cause I'm still not old enough to buy him beer) anyway, we went out to my moms to celebrate and my little sis (almost 3) was so excited we were going to have a party and keep telling me that there were "presidents" for me. Hahaha. Don't you just love the things kids say and pick up. (Well, some of it. I hate it when people think that the rude things they do are funny)

 

You're not a White House intern are you?

Happy Birthday anyway!

 

Ha! Good one. But no I'm not. Just a lowly office assistant.

 

Gypsy Rose ,

You may like this too.


SCIENCE SILLIES FROM 5TH & 6TH GRADERS
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the
top, and you sit on the bottom.

It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in
other places.

Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like
umbrellas.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I
never have been able to make out the numbers.

When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are
orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.

One of the main causes of dust is DIRT.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you
don't, why you should.

Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big
enough to be called a drop, it does.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the
Earth because so many people are stomping around there these
days.

The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation
gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting
hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

 

This one too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE FOLLOWING QUOTES ARE FROM A NEWSPAPER CONTEST WHERE ENTRANTS AGE 4 TO 15 WERE ASKED
TO IMITATE "DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDY":


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he
better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell.
Veronica - Age 5



I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm."
Unless it was just a lawn mower.
Steven - Age 11



I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine
that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source
of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier,
the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are
water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died.
Timmy - Age 13



I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave awayall of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor.
Bobby - Age 14



I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is
why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who
wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
Brandon - Age 15



My young brother asked me what happens after we die.
I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms
eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--
that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--
but I didn't want to upset him.
Allen - Age 10



It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's
birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we
would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on
July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.
Linda - Age 8



As you make your way through this hectic world of ours,
set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year,
you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Ricky - Age 7



Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that
part about letting just any old yokel vote.
Anthony - Age 10



Home is where the house is.
Jenny - Age 6



Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
Susan - Age 15



It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into
an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if
anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.
Chris - Age 5



Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace
to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
Jason - Age 13



I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Thomas - Age 13



For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
Nancy - Age 6



Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five.
Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's
five more than the biggest number you could come up with!
Michael - Age 6



The only stupid question is the one that is never asked,
except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited
my return?" or "Isn't is morally wrong to give me a
warning when, in fact, I was speeding?"
Jay - Age 15



Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a
man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's
not like he really needed them, right?
Dennis - Age 15



I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular
a singer as some people think he should be.
Then, I remember it's because he is a lousy singer.
Cynthia - Age 15



If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and
visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene
and quiet it would be until the looting started.
David - Age 15

 

and kid's thoughts on marriage......
I love the last one





HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
* Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
* Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
* Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
* Freddie, age 6 (Very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?


You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
*Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
* Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?


Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
* Lynnette, age 8 (Isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
*Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
* Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
* Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
*Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
* Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
* Theodore, age 8

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
* Anita, age 9 (Bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
* Kelvin, age 8


"And the #1 Favorite is........"

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
*Ricky, age 10

 

ROFLMAO

 

That dog pound one kills me. And the one on how your wife looks. So true.

 

My truck IS pretty!

 

My truck is beautiful too! Course beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. Yeah, that dog pound one really got me, too. Hahahah. I was laughing this morning at our dogs. The one is old and crabby (not really old, 4 1/2 Years, but really crabby) and the other is 4 1/2 Months old and a terror. I was laughing at him because he was packing around about a 6 foot long 2x4. Wonder if he'll have it all eaten by the time 5 o'clock rolls around. Is that why they call those brown thingys logs???

 

yeah....kids are great....some are mischevious, but still great. My little brother (16 years younger) got into some trouble the other day. Our brother in between ( about to be a jr in high school) couldn't get his car started one morning so he drove my mom's car to school. At about 4:45pm my mom gets this call at work from the youngest brother saying that somebody has broken and and stole the middle bros keys and crashed his car into the house. My mom asks how he knows somebody broke in and took his keys....he tells her he was in the shower and heard the front door open. Later we find out that he had gotten into the middle bros car, somehow gotten it started and ran it thru the post on the front porch and into the bushes (which luckily kept it from going into the brick) ....not sure where he came up with such a bunch of nonsense, but it didn't work for long!