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FTE Christmas Tale

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Old 12-22-2013, 10:19 PM
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FTE Christmas Tale
I will start the tale, you guys add in and finish it. Here is a linky with the original text:http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/ccmoore/bl-ccmoore-twas.htm

Twas the night before Christmas and through the shop not a tool was working not even a right angle pneumatic die grinder.
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:14 AM
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the wrenches were hung on their respective hooks....and neatly were stacked the truck service books
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:58 AM
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The forged pistons were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Ethyl danced in the aluminum heads.
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 04:28 PM
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And Mama had degreased my kerchief and my cap,
I had just found my lost 1/4 - 20 tap.
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 04:36 PM
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When out in the shop there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed with the long gun that scatters
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 05:29 PM
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Away to the shop I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and checked on my stash.
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 07:56 PM
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I turned on my shop light with a quick bright glow,
And saw my grinder and torch next to the bull nose.
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 07:57 PM
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My weed was still there, on top of my thong,

"Time to get stoned! Where is my bong?"
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 08:59 PM
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Flashbacks of the nightmare that is a 6.0,

I promptly hollered out "Oh heck no!"
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:12 PM
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When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a 4x4 pulled by a 400 so dear,
With a little old driver so bent and tired,
I knew in a moment he must be retired.
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 10:14 PM
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Now Darius! Now , Deondre! , Now Lamar and Chiante! On Delmar! on Samuel! on Donnel , and Leroy! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now run away ! Run away or I'll cut off your *****!!
 
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:09 PM
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As pry bars that before the wild motor mounts fly,
When they meet with an obstacle makes you want to cry.
 
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Old 12-24-2013, 01:00 AM
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Whoever was in the shop made such a big noise
That the mrs herself had to check on her toys

I thought to myself, oh what do we have here?
A chain, a swinger, a bong and a beer!
 
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Old 12-24-2013, 06:10 AM
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And then, in a twinkling , I checked on my tools
The thought of them stealing and pawning my jewels.
As I opened my roll away and sat the shotgun down
Out from the shadows St. Jackson flew with a bound.
 
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Old 12-24-2013, 11:38 AM
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"WTF" I cried as I spun in my spot,
Shotgun in hand and grabbing my pot,

"Toke up and get high?" I asked of St. Jack,
Offering bong & lighter & munchies in black
 
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