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Mecha Mecca - Bringing the Stink back into our lives.
Part 1 of 3:
Every adventure begins somewhere, and one might argue this one started when I set out on vacation in our 2000 Ford Diesel-powered Superduty (whom we lovingly named “Stinky”) – others might say it started the fateful last day of the trip home from said vacation. This isn’t a horror story, a gloom and doom story, or a woe is me story – it is quite literally a road to recovery story. Saying that, I think it’s best you know what we’re recovering from.
I hit black ice on a quiet two-lane highway 300 miles from home early in the morning, and couldn’t keep it on the road. I’ve driven on black ice countless times without issue, but the speed I was going when we hit it, plus the added weight of vacation supplies in the back, quickly put me in a spin that I didn’t have time to recover from. My head immediately went to “I hope I didn’t just hurt my wife”, as she was with me. Once we slid across the opposite lane, and backwards down the embankment, things were immediately and extremely violent in the cab as we hit a whole line of trees. I felt and saw the truck roll while getting a 1-2 punch to the head – then everything stopped.
Again… this isn’t about the accident, this is about the recovery – so I will sum up the end results: My shaken wife (who recovered from Cancer last year) had a bruised wrist – and that’s it. I later learned I had a mild concussion, but the cause was no mystery. That number 2 hit in the head during the roll was my freshly-filled stainless steel spill-proof thermal mug flying out of the cup holder with a bullseye marked on my head. I had a temporary “Contigo®” tattoo on my right temple, and I’m sent on a recurring guilt trip when my wife fills the oblong thermal mug for my drive to work. I’d like to think she does this with love in her heart – she wants me to remember to be careful when the roads are bad. Married men and I all know this isn’t the case – she can lord this over me forever. “Remember that time you almost killed me? Think of that the next time I ask you to do something.” Back to the list… we were 6 hours late getting home. This was the time it took to get to a rental car (Ford Explorer), take the Explorer to the tow yard (where Stinky was waiting to feel abandoned), and load our vacation supplies into the back of the rental.
I mentioned Stinky, a tow yard, and abandoned – and I’m pretty sure you have surmised he didn’t make it. I Anthropomorphize Stinky because of my personal investment in him, and my wife does because of how he behaved on the road. I spent countless hours (and dollars) taking him from a junkyard dog to a pavement panther with everything a new truck would have – plus the “personality” that comes from having a lot of miles on it. One could argue it was foolish to start a project like this with a beater, but I never planned to be a diesel-head – it just happened. I blame my friends on the diesel forum, and you know what? They’ll gladly take the “blame”. This was my first diesel, and I thought it was just going to be another pickup – but I learned otherwise. The engine in my Jurassic truck was a 7.3 liter Powerstroke, and it has an excellent reputation in the diesel community. Having something that robust under the hood added an undefinable aesthetic to traveling, and the huge leather couch in a cab sitting way up high in front of a picture window didn’t hurt either.
It took me four paragraphs to set up this one sentence, and for you to grasp its meaning: Our lives are Stinkyless. We could get just about any ol’ vehicle we like, but we travel mountainous roads no matter the weather on a regular basis, and Stinky has proven he will enshroud us in safety – even against a whole forest. Oh… I forgot to apologize to the reader who would consider yourself green, Stinky knocked over 4 aspens in the roll. If this incident had happened in my Prius, you’d be reading something else – written by somebody else… if you’re picking up what I’m laying down. After a long discussion with my wife, and consulting with my extended family on the diesel forum, a fellow member (Paul) offered to sell his truck to me. He had put almost as much effort into his truck as I had – to the point that they are near-identical trucks. As a matter of fact, his truck has the same trim package, most of the same modifications, it’s the same year, and get this – it’s Oxford White… just like Stinky. The Key difference is my friend’s truck is a crew cab (full passenger seat in back), where Stinky was an extended cab (cramped jump-seat in back). This is where things feel serendipitous – my wife and I wished Stinky was a crew cab. There’s just one caveat: He (and his truck) are 1000 miles away. The word “serendipitous” will come into play again… later.
My friend lives in a small town of about 5000 people, and the closest major airport is a several-hour drive away. My wife and I have a Subaru and a Prius, but we’ve just been snake-bit by a bad winter road accident. We’re not about to travel cross-country through Washington, Idaho, and Montana in January without some serious iron between us and the environment. Serious iron… there, I dropped my epiphany moment into the narrative. “We have a train station, does Paul have one nearby?” My wife and I looked at each other with faces you see on children when you ask them if they want ice cream. Like the child asking mom if it’s OK, a quick click on the Amtrak website shows this would be completely doable. Leaving the drop-off/pick-up planning adventure aside (nothing different from flying), we have our 20-hour train route. Riding the rails in a sleeper cabin has always been on my bucket list, so this the opportunity that I quite literally rolled into (serendipitous event #2). I buy Superliner Sleeper tickets for the two of us on the Empire Builder.
After packing for the mission of driving a used truck across 1000 winter miles to get home, we’re at home and I’m receiving a steady flow of texts on the train’s ETA at our station. We arrived at the station 45 minutes before the train’s ETA, because of my old habits from frequent flying in my previous career. The “track-your-train” feature on the Amtrak website failed me on this occasion (but it worked fine the rest of the trip): From the comfort of the warm car, it showed the train 10 miles away – as it pulled up to the platform. People now amble out of their cars with carry-on bags, purses, and backpacks - while my wife and I are dragging luggage full of clothes and truck stuff. We meet our “hostess” Lashaunda (I hope I got the spelling right). She greets us with our first names, which is a refreshing change from the cattle herding we get with traveling any other way. She escorts us first to the luggage rack, then up the stairs to our cabin. Uh… I should point out that space is at a premium on a train, so I found it best to haul carry-on in front of me when assailing the seashell staircase. She directs us to our room, and says she’ll be there in a minute to familiarize us with the room, the train, and meal schedules. I forgot to mention – meals are included in the price of the sleeper.
I knew exactly what to expect in the room. I went online, saw the diagrams and specs, and watched some YouTube videos of those who have ridden in the same type of room. It’s not a hotel room by any means, it’s more like the cabin in our boat - but this has a lot more headroom. Saying that, there are plenty of coach passengers that envy the beds (plural) in there.We have room for our carry-on bags, and there’s a mini-closet to hang our coats and a change of clothes - yet we can still maneuver about without crawling over items. My wife also appreciates having our own personal restroom with a shower – again not unlike in size with the one in our boat. We take week-long vacations on our boat, so this room is just fine as far as we’re concerned. This is also a good opportunity to compare with flying. How many comedians have made good money from making fun of the space available on a flight? It’s funny because we can relate, but it’s not funny because it’s true. Since flying is the most common form of traveling to distant locations, I’ll be comparing with that a lot. Anyway... Lashaunda returns, and after discussing other parts of the train, she offers to show us all the functions of the room. I just tell her we’re good because I rehearsed everything online. My feeling is if I can rebuild a dual-brake system on a Superduty with just my wits, I can manage a hide-a-bed and a vent **** that reads “warmer – colder”. So... my wife and I settle in for our first long-distance train ride.
I’ve had many red-eye flights, and I’ve done a few long flights – both can be compared here. For the sake of narration, let’s say we’re on the train, and you’re on the plane. On the train...my wife and I snuggle up together on a spacious couch, looking out a huge picture window, with the view of our town from about 13 feet off the ground. Compare that with being strapped in next to each other on a plane, looking out a port hole the size of a small tablet, with the view of the engine and an airport tarmac from 20 feet up. Our “takeoff” is a quiet and gentle acceleration on rails in a car with a soft suspension as we watch the town disappear behind us. A plane takeoff is a bouncy taxi to a runway, then a thrust into your seat as screaming jets hurl you down the runway – lifting you as the view out the tablet shows the city disappearing below a layer of clouds. Ta-daa… that’s it for your view when the weather is bad. We’re so comfortable that we pass out on the couch, before later waking up to make the bed. You’re trying to learn how to sleep in the Utkatasana yoga position. To be fair, this is where we failed… a little. When my wife and I met (years ago), we were out kayaking almost every summer weekend. Now... we lounge on a powerboat, beverages IN hand, and snacks on-hand. Our “profiles” have changed over the years, and that hide-a-bed doesn’t lend itself well to two senior citizens rolling over. While we can have as many blankets as we need, they are the size of the bed – not of these two high-profile (when lying down) occupants together. We now know to bring a bigger blanket next time, or I make use of the bunk up top. While playing blanket tug-O-war, this would have been a good time for her to issue forth the Contigo mug.
After a night of being rocked to sleep, we are up and ready at 6:30 for breakfast. I trudge through the sleeper car in plaid pajamas and slippers to the dining car – thermal mugs in hand. Looking through the window in the door, I see clothed people, some in sweats, but none in PJs. I almost had one of those experiences that people have nightmares about. I head back to the room, meeting my pajama-clad wife in the hall, conveying what awaits us. We both go back to the room to grab our clothes. We are quickly learning train etiquette. There is assigned seating in the dining car, because they don’t have the space to afford an empty seat at a table. We sit across two lone travelers, one from a smaller sleeper, and one from coach. We compare experiences on the train so far, learn a little about each other, and I get the opportunity to use my same stale 6 jokes to a whole new audience. The menu has something for everybody, including vegans... and myself – gluten intolerant. The food is delicious and of appropriate portions for people who eat three meals a day. We said “See you later.” to our new friends, then returned to our room to enjoy some quiet, our freshly-filled mugs of joe, and the scenery.
My wife and I discussed how this is a great way to reconnect with humanity. Every time we go to a restaurant, we have our own booth, and we look around to see every other booth and table full of people staring at their smart phones – not talking to each other. Our train happens to go through a huge wilderness and through sparsely-populated regions – meaning limited cell service. It was very refreshing to see everybody on the train conversing and not a smart phone in sight. Well… there was one… but that passenger was not in a talkative mood. We are pretty sure the next meal will have us sitting with two completely different people, so there are plenty of opportunities to make new friends… and repeat those jokes.
I thought I’d check the club car to see how that fits into the humanity motif. What I found caught me off-guard. There are love seats and single seats, they all swivel, and the most common position is facing the massive windows that curve all the way up into the ceiling. There is more cup-holding space at the base of the windows than anybody could possibly use up. This is a proper venue for socializing and enjoying the view. If I didn’t have to drive later that night, I would have had an adult beverage here.
We noticed an interesting dynamic on our trip. When the terrain was rugged and interesting, the train had to slow down for corners and grades. When the terrain was flat and uninteresting, the train could haul at maximum speed (79 MPH on this track). How do I know the speed? I looked stuff up before the trip, and I have WAZE on my smart phone – it shows your current GPS speed. Anyway… this dynamic made for more interesting scenery out the window – like a movie made for the traveler. We’d be talking and my wife would exclaim “Deer!”, not unlike the dogs being distracted by squirrels in the Pixar movie “Up”. I was taking pictures and movies (with the lens against the glass to eliminate room reflections), and I got some dramatic shots because of the weather. Any plane flying over would have seen a blanket of white, and nothing else. Sit on your bed, and look through a toilet paper tube at your sheets for hours… that’s what it’s like to fly over weather or water. We saw some fascinating-looking ghost towns, so we plan to look those up on the internet later. I don’t recall being this curious about something I saw at 30,000 feet that it prompted me to look it up – let alone recognize this as a ghost town from that altitude.
Looking at a map and a weather report, I called Paul to see if he wanted to switch the station where he picked us up. He agreed the proposed station would be a better call, so we contacted Lashaunda to find out if we could do this. She said she would let the conductor know what we wanted to do, so the engineer would know to linger in the station a little longer for our departure in the event there was no other activity on that platform. She reported back that this was no problem, and we diverted Paul to the other station. While waiting to reach the next station, we started to plan a trip to St Louis to visit my daughter – via train. Exiting the train, I noticed I'm rested, charged, and ready for the next step - I NEVER feel that way after a flight. Paul met us at the train station, and the roads were clear all the way to his home – where our next truck was waiting for us.
My wife and I instantly loved Paul’s truck. I appreciated all the care he put into the upgrades and maintenance (like I had done with Stinky), and my wife appreciated how it was almost identical to our beloved truck, only bigger. Getting behind the wheel was eerily familiar because of the trim package (which is hard to come by), and firing it up to hear a proper pock-pock-pock of the notorious 7.3 Powerstroke warmed the heart. I know this all sounds mushy, but my wife and I truly enjoyed traveling long distances in Stinky – and the sights and sounds rekindle a lot of fond memories. SOLD!
Glad to hear the trip so far has went well. Will be hanging on a thread waiting for the next installment of “The adventures of Tugly & better looking half, armed with a Contigo cup”.
Felt like I a watched an episode of "Rick Tugly's America"! Thanks for this awesome travelogue! Travel by train is a rare treat, and we should take advantage before it goes away. Cruise ships offer the personal touch but the treat of watching the land of America wander by?! Only on a train.
Most importantly let me express how glad I am you chose to remain in the 7.3 family! This was a deflection point and I'm glad the 7.3 gods prevailed.
Terrific story telling from Tugly! Love the truck and looking forward to more pics, driving impressions, and more info about it. I'm (and I would thing others too) are not familiar with it as with Stinky.
01-31-2019, 06:46 PM
