A blonde calls her boyfriend & says, "Please come over here & help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, & I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over & help with the puzzle. She lets him in & shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her & says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand & says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, & then," he sighed..."Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box.



Two hillbillies in a bar takin shouts of whiskey and talkin bout their moonshine operation, five tables down a woman eating asandwich starts coughing. The one ole boy looks at er and asks, maam can you talk she shakes her head no the other ole boy takes a shot and looks at her as she is turning blue in the face and asks maam can you breath ? She shakes heer head hard this time and this son of a buck walks over to her, lifts up her skirt and licks her right buttock.she is so shocked at getting her *** licked she spouts out the sandwich and he walks back overt to his buddy.his buddy looks at him and declares ive heard of that there hind-lick maneuver, but I have never seen it executed before

 

Two muffins were sitting in an oven, and the first looks over to the second, and say, "man it's really hot in here". The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers, "WHOA, a talking muffin!"

 

A mother is tucking her young son in bed for the night during a torretial thunder storm. The boy asks in a wavering voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mom says in a reassuring voice, "No son, I have to sleep in Daddy's room tonight." The long silence was finally roken by the boy's quivering voice: "The big sissy."