The motherlode (of bowtie jokes) - Page 3 - Ford Truck Enthusiasts Forums

Go Back  Ford Truck Enthusiasts Forums > General > Ford vs The Competition
Reload this Page >

The motherlode (of bowtie jokes)

Notices
Ford vs The Competition Technical discussion and comparison ONLY. Trolls will not be tolerated.

The motherlode (of bowtie jokes)

  #31  
Old 05-06-2011, 08:55 AM
offroadnt's Avatar
offroadnt
offroadnt is offline
Senior User
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 100
offroadnt is starting off with a positive reputation.
Ford
First on race day
For old retired Dutchmen
Flip over read directions

GMC
Got mechanic coming
Government Motors Corporation

Pontiac
Poor old Newfy thinks it's a Cadillac

Toyota
To often Yankies overprice this automobile
 
  #32  
Old 09-02-2011, 12:13 AM
Jaime74656's Avatar
Jaime74656
Jaime74656 is offline
Postmaster
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Stamford (currently)
Posts: 4,663
Jaime74656 is a splendid one to beholdJaime74656 is a splendid one to beholdJaime74656 is a splendid one to beholdJaime74656 is a splendid one to beholdJaime74656 is a splendid one to beholdJaime74656 is a splendid one to beholdJaime74656 is a splendid one to behold
Originally Posted by fordtruckman View Post
I don't really have a joke but what's up with their new ad slogan. "Chevy runs deep" I mean c'mon really that's the best they could come up with?

I figured that it was because chevys ran deep into your pockets draining the cash out of them being fixed all the time...

as for jokes, even tho i love fords and i grew up with a ford most of my life I did have a dodge minivan and crysler vans (mom drove them) and ill be happy to poke fun at Fords, im down for a good laugh...


GM/GMC = Government Motors, Got More Crap, Got More Coming, Got Mechanic Coming

AMC = Another Mexican Car (or again Mexican crap) [yes I can get away with these because of having so many Mexican friends and other reasons....no im not aiming the jokes at people]

FORD = first on race day or *****ed On Race Day, Found On Road Dead

DODGE = if you can't Dodge it, Ram it

Read A Manual (as in the owners manual)

CHEVY = Check Her Engine Valves Yearly
 
  #33  
Old 11-06-2011, 06:12 PM
351Cleveland C4's Avatar
351Cleveland C4
351Cleveland C4 is online now
Post Fiend
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: On the Edge of the Desert
Posts: 7,486
351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.
double post

really nothing that wasn't already said,, but there's a few new ones

it was my whole collection. thought it would be nice for anyone wanting to compile their own.
 
  #34  
Old 11-06-2011, 06:17 PM
351Cleveland C4's Avatar
351Cleveland C4
351Cleveland C4 is online now
Post Fiend
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: On the Edge of the Desert
Posts: 7,486
351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.351Cleveland C4 has a great reputation on FTE.
oh dang,, you didnt.... yep you did..
first on race day
found off-road rescuing dodges


Chevrolet
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed
CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
Car Hardly Ever Vacates Yard
CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy
Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET = Chews Heads, Eats Valves, Runs Only Lousy Ets

GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company
GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming
GMC= Gay Mans Chariot
GM= General Mistake
GM= Glued Metal
GMC= Garage Man's Companion

IROC= I Run On Credit
IROC= I'm a retard out cruising
Idiotic retard Out Cruising
I reek of cologne
I really own crap

Z28= Zippy 2.8 Liter

SS= Super Slow

RS - Really ****ty

CORVETTE= Completely Over-Rated, Very Expensive, Technically Troubled Engine.

"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."
Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.

Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.

Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.

Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle

Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.

Q. How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A. Fill up the gas tank.

Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.

Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.

Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.

Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the Ford towing it.

Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
A. A tampon comes with its own tow rope

Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys

Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two Fords

Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.

Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the
shop

Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.

Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?

Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.

Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.


A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and
said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with
me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the
sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and
I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned
and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Chevy, YOU ride in it!!!"

Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
our tools would rust.

From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the
road. The rest made it home.

Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65,
Chevys-do the
best you can"

Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.

Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the
rest.

Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.

You can Ford a stream, you can Dodge a stream, but a Chevy will sit
and rust in a stream.

A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he
had, how
many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man,
growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how
much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat
and said to the young
man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup
at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the
other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back
quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck
too"!

Here I sit brokenhearted
Wishing that my Chevy started
But it didn't so thats a wrap
I think I'll shoot this piece of crap

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push his chevy into the shop

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because his silverado got stuck.
 
  #35  
Old 10-01-2013, 06:18 AM
slashfan7964's Avatar
slashfan7964
slashfan7964 is offline
Posting Guru
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Indian Falls, New York
Posts: 1,332
slashfan7964 is gaining momentum as a positive member of FTE.slashfan7964 is gaining momentum as a positive member of FTE.
Chevy run deep...into the ground
 
  #36  
Old 08-22-2018, 01:33 PM
CrimsonRide
CrimsonRide is offline
New User
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 22
CrimsonRide is starting off with a positive reputation.
IH

I have a Scout II. I joke with my friends who are driving the new Jeeps ( Heeps, Cheeps), your Jeep took 40+ years to get to the point the Scouts were in the 70s. Seriously, look at drivetrain, suspension, size, etc. A Jeep today has very little in common with Jeeps of yesteryear....
 
  #37  
Old 09-24-2018, 09:44 AM
Tony_TAT2
Tony_TAT2 is offline
Posting Guru
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: S-NJ
Posts: 1,155
Tony_TAT2 has a great reputation on FTE.Tony_TAT2 has a great reputation on FTE.Tony_TAT2 has a great reputation on FTE.Tony_TAT2 has a great reputation on FTE.Tony_TAT2 has a great reputation on FTE.
CORVETTE= Completely Over-Rated, Very Expensive, Technically Troubled Engine.
If i had feelings thay would be hurt !
Previous 58,68,70,76,78,85,90 curently a 93.& BTW no midlife crises
 
  #38  
Old 11-20-2018, 01:52 AM
82_F100_300Six's Avatar
82_F100_300Six
82_F100_300Six is offline
Posting Guru
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,385
82_F100_300Six has a great reputation on FTE.82_F100_300Six has a great reputation on FTE.82_F100_300Six has a great reputation on FTE.82_F100_300Six has a great reputation on FTE.
Some of my favourites
More Orange Paint And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everytime
Bring More Wrenches
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
 
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
66-Ol'Henry
General NON-Automotive Conversation
21
10-18-2018 12:15 PM
dirtjumper01
Ford vs The Competition
68
05-24-2017 10:23 PM
76f350spercamprspeal
1973 - 1979 F-100 & Larger F-Series Trucks
49
01-20-2017 07:27 PM
640 CI Aluminum FORD
2015+ F150
51
09-26-2016 03:13 PM
GoCamping
6.7L Power Stroke Diesel
25
01-26-2012 05:23 AM


Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Quick Reply: The motherlode (of bowtie jokes)


Contact Us About Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

© 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.