An old cowboy dressed to kill with a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"
The cowboy replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, I guess I am." After a short while he asked her what she was.
She replied, "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, work, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women."
A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.
A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm probably a lesbian."

 

my hero's have always been cowboys too.

 

Thats an oldie but a goodie Bill!

Mark

 

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers,
which he was.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air,
catches it above his head without even looking
and fires a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you sidewinders stole my hoss?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer,
and if my hoss ain't back outside by the time I finish,
I'm gonna do what I done in Texas!
And I don't like to have to do what I done in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse is back!
He saddles up and starts to ride out of town.
The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks,
"Say pardner, before you go - What happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said,

"I had to walk home."

Mark

 

A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest
a few minutes.
The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began
to boast about his past. "Yes sir, I'm a fine horse. I've run in 25 races
and won over £5 million. I keep my trophies in the barn."
The salesman worked out the value of having a talking horse, found the
horse's owner and offered a handsome sum for the animal.
"Oh, you don't want that horse," said the farmer.
"Yes I do," said the salesman, "and I'll give you £10,000 for the horse."
Recognising a good deal, the farmer said without hesitation, "He's yours."
While he wrote out his cheque, the salesman asked, "By the way, why
wouldn't I want your horse?"
"Because," said the farmer, "he's a liar - he hasn't won a race in his
life

 

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Laramie, Wyoming.

He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke,

"If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.

He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.

The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

Mark

 

More than anything, my brother-in-law wanted to be a cowpoke.
Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give
him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it
to catch cows."
"I see," said my brother-in-law, trying to seem knowledgeable
as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"

Mark