Well now fellers..time for a yarn. Lemme fill up my pipe and sit back and tell ya'll.."The Truth"..as best I recall it. It's mid-Feb. here in south-central Pa. and judging by the snow on the front yard yonder..and my breath in the air..it's colder'n blue blazes out there! I left work this morning in my mini-van...a Chevy Astro!..(yeah go ahead and laugh) Frost is hangin' everywhar and last I seen it was 4 degrees. I sit in the van a while waiting fer it to warm up..read the new Field&Stream Magazine..teeth a'chattering...then flogged it into Drive and headed out of the parking lot of Sunnyway Foods heading home. I only got about 6 miles to go ta home..no big deal...eh? I made it about 200yds. from the parking lot a'fore I realized...it's FREEZING in here! I mean cold as Uranus....Antartica cold...Alaska cold....and the wind is blowing my short-cropped-slightly-graying.....almost non-existant-hair back! Fellers...I'm freezing to death here!!! I peered around looking for the source of the breeze..no windows open that I can see...heater is on HIGH-ROAST..and it usually works right-smart well. Cold..lots of air moving about...I cain't even git my Zippo lighter to work..my hat is blowing off...it's 4 deg. COLD! 300yds. from where I work the condensation is freezing on my upper lip. Snot-sickle..big time. This stuff is freezing to my face like somebody ripped out the windshield and I'm drinking a Slurpy! Whatthehell?? About a mile from leaving work it finally dawns on me...left the rear hatch open!!! S++T! Pull the van over....walk back almost a mile and pick up all the debri I left laying alongside the road so's to avoid a $500 littering fine. (Great..just fecking great...I'm freezing to death..walk a mile to pick up this crap!) Arrive home...toilet froze up...kitchen sink froze up. Tried to do laundry...clothes froze solid in the laundry basket before I can hang them on the line. Spring...I need Spring to come sometime soon. Arrrrgh! Audie..the Oldfart..sick of winter..

 

geeze louise audie!! fer an old fart ya ain't very brite are ya??

everbody knows thet in the winter, doin laundry means goin to wallmart an buyin new britches, an ta keep the water in the sink and terlet from freezin, ya gots ta load the fireplace up wit wood BEFORE ya goes out, not when ya comes home!!

 

I can see that happening. Other than the hair blowing (got to have hair) . At least you cleaned the road off. As for driving a chevy to work . People suck at parking in those lots u r just protecting your truck .

You lose any beer on the trip????

 

At least you didn't go for a cruise down down the hill on ice

 

Well naw tjc I wish I could go to Walmart and buy britches. Harrumph! For some odd reason when they git up to my waist size the legs shorten up to 30in. or less. Now just go figger that? Do they think all us fat folks are dwarfs or what??? I may just have to send them a "nasty-gram" about that like I did their "Auto Service Center" which is anything but!!! An no fireplace here my friend...38yr. old 12x70 trailer. I'm feareful enough of fire without a woodburner! (and lazy) Audie..the Oldfart..

 

Well Lost...I did lose a few empty cans! Now mind ya..I never drink and drive. Those cans was in there from last summer when I was mowing the yard and I tossed them in the van cause I was to lazy too git off the ridin' mower. And a bucket from KFC blew out to..it was still full'a bones. (From when I went to Pittsburg in June to catch a flight up to Alaska.) Had some fun today also...went down to Home Depot and picked up a load of lumber&drywall for remodeling the gun room and tried to back up to the front porch. It's a slight upgrade..not much really. No snow here but the grass was wet and these Kelly Safari AWR's suck! Took me 3 tries to back up 20ft.! Course..I'm too cheap to put it into 4WD and use a lot of extra gas. ($3.20 a gal. here!) So I dug 2 big trenches in the yard. BUT! I gotter done! And yes...I drive the Chevy to save the Ford. PennDot seems to have an un-ehaustable supply of salt available this year and I won't take her out in that stuff. I keep trying to git home before they salt the roads just to take my baby out on fresh powder but they always beat me to it. Audie..the Oldfart. P.S. sorry for the long time between post but it's 6 nights a week now and doing some remodeling as well.

 

I know you r busy . Hope remodel goes well. I dont get on here much any more.