Louisiana Joke thread
#32
01-28-2008, 07:40 PM
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A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She
was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew
very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for
a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a
drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than
the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day
and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired
hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock and no hired hand.
He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the
rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for
him.
She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.
"Now take off my bra."
Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties."
By the light of the fire, he slowly ! pulled them down and off. Then she
looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again,
you're fired."
was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew
very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for
a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a
drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than
the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day
and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired
hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock and no hired hand.
He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the
rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for
him.
She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.
"Now take off my bra."
Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties."
By the light of the fire, he slowly ! pulled them down and off. Then she
looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again,
you're fired."
#34
01-29-2008, 12:43 PM
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Cajun and the Game Warden
A Cajun went hunting one day way up north near Shreveport and bagged three
ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive
home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like
Cajuns.
The game warden ordered the Cajun to show his hunting license, and the
Cajun pulled out a valid Louisiana hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one
of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Louisiana.
This is a Texas duck You got a Texas huntin' license, boy?"
The Cajun reached into his wallet and produced a Texas hunting license. The
game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck,
sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Texas duck. This duck's from
Arkansas. You got a Arkansas license?"
The Cajun reached into his wallet and produced an Arkansas hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its
butt, and said "This ain't no Arkansas duck. This here duck's from
Mississippi. You got a Mississippi huntin' license?"Again the Cajun reached
into his wallet and brought out a Mississippi hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at
the Cajun "Just where the hell are you from?"
The Cajun turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell
me. You're the expert."
ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive
home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like
Cajuns.
The game warden ordered the Cajun to show his hunting license, and the
Cajun pulled out a valid Louisiana hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one
of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Louisiana.
This is a Texas duck You got a Texas huntin' license, boy?"
The Cajun reached into his wallet and produced a Texas hunting license. The
game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck,
sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Texas duck. This duck's from
Arkansas. You got a Arkansas license?"
The Cajun reached into his wallet and produced an Arkansas hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its
butt, and said "This ain't no Arkansas duck. This here duck's from
Mississippi. You got a Mississippi huntin' license?"Again the Cajun reached
into his wallet and brought out a Mississippi hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at
the Cajun "Just where the hell are you from?"
The Cajun turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell
me. You're the expert."
#36
01-29-2008, 05:30 PM
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#37
02-21-2008, 10:07 AM
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Location: Marco, Louisiana
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#39
02-21-2008, 10:41 AM
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#41
03-04-2008, 12:47 PM
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A new boss was determined to rid his company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. With the room filled with workers, he decided to make an example of the young man.
The CEO walked up to the guy and asked “And how much money do you make a week?” Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replied, “I make $200 a week.
Why?”
The CEO gave him $200 and said, “Here’s a week’s pay, now get out and don’t come back!” Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”
With a grin, one of the workers replied, “He’s the pizza delivery guy.”
The CEO walked up to the guy and asked “And how much money do you make a week?” Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replied, “I make $200 a week.
Why?”
The CEO gave him $200 and said, “Here’s a week’s pay, now get out and don’t come back!” Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”
With a grin, one of the workers replied, “He’s the pizza delivery guy.”
