Couple of my favorites...

"All over it like a fat kid on a Smartie"
"Cleaned out like a Cheeze Wiz bottle"

 

When the going gets tough, the tough get going!

When it's too tough for everybody else, it's just right for me!

 

something i hear quite a bit of and just cannot get anyone to explain it to me cause it makes no sense to me or to the people who say it.
"you want your cake and eat it too"
please explain this to me. i have heard this saying for years.

 

No matter how far a jackass travels, it won't come back a horse.


If you think hiring a professional is expensive, first hire an amateur.

 

You can't eat a whole cake and still have it......it is now gone.......hense the "you can't HAVE your cake and EAT it too".....mom sure was smart.


When someone makes a remark about something someone else has done I like to remind them that...

"it doesn't make them a bad person"......

 

One of my Dad's sayings when something amazing happened:
"Well cut my legs off and call me Shorty"

A recent quote in the news which was just voted as the quote of the year:
"Don't tase me Bro"

Another on of my Dad's:
"I wouldn't stand in a line that long to see a pissant eat a bail of hay and drink a barrel of water"

One of Arnolds:
"I'll be back"

One of my best friends when the waiter askes how he wants his steak and he wants it very rare:
"Just break its leg and wipe its a$$"

Refering to stupid people:
"He's as dumb as a box of hair"
"His IQ is lower than room temperature"

 

Everybody's gotta do what they're good at...
Be sincere even if you don't mean it.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Stupidity SHOULD be painful.
I'll put so many knots on your head that'll look like a bag o' nickels!
I may be drunk tonight but tomorrow I'll be sober...you on the otherhand will still be ugly!

 

The cake thing. My understanding is if there is something that has two different opinions or answers to it ,you can't have it both ways.

My wife said my favorite saying is calling something, a piece of sh#t.

 

But I like cake, I want to have some cake, but I can't have it because I already ate it? does that sound right to anyone?

just a funny saying I guess.

 

It is better to keep mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt.
or Make sure brain is engaged before putting mouth in gear.
ART

 

1. "You can't fix stupid."

2. Most everything Penn Dick says.
And, of course, the ones in my signature line.

 

i can't repeat 'em here , someone might get offended !!!!!!!!!!!

 

"I asked him the time and he told me how to build a watch".

My "day job" has turned into hell with the addition of some new people who just don't know how to give a simple "Yes" or "No" answer. They feel obliged to give the complete history of the world even on simple questions.

 

One I use when something turns out just right "That's Bad **** " One I learned from an old blacksmith . That is as much use as a c*#t full of cold p*#s . This master black smith would warn any women who might be in his shop when things weren't going right by saying " The air is about to turn blue " He could turn a railroad spike into a table fork and make metal spiral stairs with out plans . The only person I have ever known who could weld engine blocks . What an artist . Have a tremendous amount of respect for this man who has known me since birth .55 yrs on the 24th .

 

One of my favorites:
"Even a blind hog can find an acorn once in a while" kinda goes with "I'd rather be lucky than good"