It's Monday.....Time for a Laugh
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It's Monday.....Time for a Laugh
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Let's go for stupid
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store,but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stockboy,"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Caught for speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid he had stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his
way without a ticket.
Stuck under a bridge
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck,huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of Fuel."
Drunk?
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've
got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk".
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm
drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought was
crippled."
Dealing with trouble
A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom
disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.
Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape
artist-probably better than Houdini." The giant nodded. "If I had
some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you
really are.
But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how
quickly you can break out of them?"
Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four
minutes.
"I can't get out of these," the giant growled.
Are you sure" the deputy asked?
The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."
Too Late
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car
parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." The man said.
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop
asked. "My wife," said the man.
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Dennis
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Let's go for stupid
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store,but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stockboy,"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Caught for speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid he had stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his
way without a ticket.
Stuck under a bridge
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck,huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of Fuel."
Drunk?
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've
got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk".
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm
drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought was
crippled."
Dealing with trouble
A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom
disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.
Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape
artist-probably better than Houdini." The giant nodded. "If I had
some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you
really are.
But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how
quickly you can break out of them?"
Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four
minutes.
"I can't get out of these," the giant growled.
Are you sure" the deputy asked?
The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."
Too Late
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car
parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." The man said.
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop
asked. "My wife," said the man.
[/font]
Dennis
F.T.E. Assistant Administrator
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/SigSanta.JPG
[font color=red]
"May The Spirit Of Christmas Be An Inspiration To You Throughout The Year"[/font]
[link:www.ford-trucks.com/guidelines.html|Club FTE]
[link: motorhaven.autoanything.com|How YOU Can Support This Site]
[link:www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/Mil1ion.html|My Website,"North Of The 49th"]
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From: Charleston, SC
It's Monday.....Time for a Laugh
This drunk was staggering down the street and a cop approached him. What's going on, man? The cop asked.
Officer, someone stold my car (holding out his hand)
I had it right here on the end on this key.
(Cop shaking his head) You're drunk, I'm placing you under arrest, said the cop.
(Getting out his cuffs he looked at the boozer and said) You're pathetic, put that away and zip up your pants too.
The drunk looked down and screamed, Oh my God, they got my girl too.
Officer, someone stold my car (holding out his hand)
I had it right here on the end on this key.
(Cop shaking his head) You're drunk, I'm placing you under arrest, said the cop.
(Getting out his cuffs he looked at the boozer and said) You're pathetic, put that away and zip up your pants too.
The drunk looked down and screamed, Oh my God, they got my girl too.
I needed that today even if its Tuesday morn lol
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