Never let your wife or kids put your tools away or clean up the project mess... You will NEVER see your tools again

 

This happend when I first got my liscence....

When your late for work, wake up to find you have a flat, and rush to change the tire with pops....

NEVER assume the other guy torqued the lug nuts after you put them on w/ a speed wrench. The wheel WILL come off the vehicle at speed later on.

P.S. Found the wheel in the woods with all 4 lug nuts in the hub cap. After we pulled the car out of the embankment, we were able to put the wheel back on and I drove home.

Oh, and when using a table saw...ALWAYS set the blade so that it is just a c-hair above your work, and ALWAYS use a push stick. Otherwise the week before your wedding you will almost slice your thumb off, thereby making it difficult to ride the motorcycle on your honeymoon.

-Shawn

 

Dont turn on at metal lathe with thecross slide under the chuck jaws.. bad things happen

 

and the Wise Wolf spaketh, saying thusly:

1) Thou shalt never turn on the green valve FIRST

2) Woe unto Ye who storeth thy sacred torch amongst Ye miscelanious oils and fuels..

3) Ye shalt verily practice industrial safe husbandry of all manner of methods and arts, lest Ye be blind, deafened, maimed, poisoned, or six feet under in a box - wherefore She Thy Spouse will be much distressed at Thy lapses in Thy faith

4) Insofar as ye be in goode faith at ne'er loaning a tool out -
be not taxing upon Thy neighbor in such wise should Ye sacred box prove short...

5) Verily: An idiot makes do - But a master prepares.
Attempt not an repair without appropriate equipment.

6) In the short run, a thing may be made to work. Yet in the long run will that which IS repaired only function properly if 'tis done properly and well - wherefore:
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTARY

7) Though it may have a price somewhat unseemly - quote not short that which must be done, for SAFETY is precious in the sight of CRAFTSMANSHIP

8) Know Ye all brethren that your works are at all times seen by all. Therefore work Ye not shoddy practice, nor seek to sell parts for commissions sake - but strive to do well by Ye consumer in all things, lest Ye be damned for all time

9) Regarding that above - An Ye follow an poor master - POOR shall all of your works BE

10) THOU shalt keep Thy Sacred RACE TRACK holy, for it is the proof of all things

 

Never, Ever,ever let your (non-mechanical) wife in the garage!!

 

I have ALL of them back!

 

Kids in the garage

toilet flushes

the words oh-oh

TO LATE

 

Nice to see some of you kids getting ahead of the game tool-wise.
I'm 25, and my 59yr old father has more of my tools than I do.
Famous last words "OH, you DO have one of those.. I'll put it back when I'm done.."

What are ya gonna do? He's just too funny to stop.

OH, stupid garage tricks.
Don't try to install struts without a compressor - it's like the 4th of July when those suckers let loose, and the hood will never be the same.

Don't blow the curcuit breaker with the welder while trying to weld the cover to the pit together. You WILL fall in the pit while trying to get to the breaker box.

Don't build a pit lower than the watertable under your garage. In the spring, it sucks to need a raft to get the oil change done..

Don't let someone who can't drive standard try to put your truck on a set of ramps. Poor garage door will never be the same.

Don't continue to use angle grinder after 12 hours of working (and beers) in a poorly ventilated garage. You will have a headache in the morning.

Don't grind with an open bucket of paint reducer within 4 feet. POOF!

 

If you have a funnel-top style drain pan that holds more than one change worth of oil, don't assume there's room in in for one more change of oil. Makes a helluva mess of the driveway.

If you leave a drain pan under the vehicle overnight to catch the drip from the leaky fuel line, don't forget about it and drive over it in the morning when you leave for work. Darn, I really liked that pan

Cheers,
Eric

 

Do not leave a 2'x3' drip pan awash with coolant/oil mix on the bottom of your engine stand....


Do not leave a drain pan with 5 quarts of oil sitting in the puddle of oil/coolant on the bottom of your engine stand......


Do not attempt to remove a cylinder head from the 460 mounted on the engine stand while you have a fractured wrist & the engine is tilted towards the cylinder head you are removing.


Do not then drop that cylinder head so that it hits the end of the drip tray awash on oil/coolant mix with a drain pan containing 5 quarts of engine oil sending the drainpan summersaulting skyward while you are stood no more than 18 inches from the now spinning drain pan that is rotating like a tossed coin directly in front of your face.


And lastly, after all that, do NOT walk into the kitchen looking like a bad Al Jolson impersonator & scare the living **** out of the wife while she's doing the washing up & has a carving knife in her hand.......

 

Don't lend yer tools to ANYONE,

Do not put yer tools in a bucket under a leaky roof


or let a friend use the garage when you're not home...and if you do...Make sure the Rottie (that doesn't like the friend) is Not runnin' Loose.... comin' home to tools spread all over the place, (some i still haven't found) friend and the car vanished, garage door open, and the dog sittin with a big grin on his face has a way of Makin' Yer Day!


Oh yeah one more thing....Do not wear your fingernails long and painted candy apple red to match your truck.....a torch a little too close and that nail polish will catch fire....

 

Listen to these stories of garage blunders.
Last year I was on my senior year of high school and because I had worked at a place that built trailers my shop teacher made me fix all the trailers he built. One day while fixing a hitch a came up up with a quick fix that involved the torch I was gathering tools while my teacher lit the torch and proceded to do what I said. He was wearing a flannel shirt with several of those flammable fuzzies on it. yup he went up in flames pretty fast not once but twice after I put him out the first time he kept the coat on and went back to torchin then he did take the court off.
My senior Free Enterprise teacher shared a story with me of the only thing he ever put together that worked an eletric garage door opener. But he didnt get it together quite right the light wouldnt come on so he proceded in trying to fix that but forgot to unplug it, he is still alive.
And recently me and my friend were putting my 390 motor together hes a smoker who has more ***** than brains and I thought he was ashing into an empty container but soon found out it had half aquart of gasoline in it, pretty interesting we both escaped with out injury, but his index finger is so sore he uses his other hand to hold the cigerette.
This is the same kid who fell asleep in my 66 f100 very loud truck with lit cigerette in his hand, usually he has trouble opening the door because he pushes the handle forward, but he got he open really fat that time my pickup was unharmed even as his oil jeans were blazing!!!!

 

Hi,
There are several things, number one is very important
1. When using a rotary buffer or grinder make sure the power cord is not between your legs, and away from the spining disc or buffer wheel. A friends brother discovered this the hard way when the cord became tangled in the buffer head, then bunched up his loose fitting trousers, thus removing a Very valuable male organ. (this is true and not a joke)

2. Never ever allow the gfs son to place an open tray of drain oil on a high shelf. Because when she trys to move it the surprizes begin and boat cushions get ruined.

3. Be sure that a 'helper"does not place the pan containing hot ATF at the base of the step ladder that you are on.Getting hot ATF in your shoes is not pleasant, and makes chasing the little SOB across the lot difficult.

 

My 2 biggest garage blunders fall under the same basic rule.

Don't construct anything bigger than your garage door.

3 days installing the lift kit and bigger wheels/tires on my 99 F150 4x4, ended with a dissapointing switch to the old tires, only to squeak under the door :-)


I disassembled my 69 F250, body off the frame, body onto flat-bed. Combination too tall to get out the door. Once again, squeaked out after letting the air out of the trailer tires.


I did once try to put an additive in the transmission fluid on my 95 F150, 5spd. Remove dthe drain plug to provide space for the additive, the removed the fill plug to put the additive in. It drains much faster when there is air going in the filler :-) I was well lubricated thereafter.

 

i have a good one. while replacing the fuel filter on my '82, i forgot to put the fuel line from the pump on the side of the block to the carb. its not fun when you see 'ol fathful under your hood while your truck is somehow running.