Given Kurt Busch's recent trouble with the law in Arizona, I think these tips might come in handy for the next time a NASCAR driver finds themselves being asked to step out of the car and walk a straight line:

10: "Boy, you're lucky you caught me! I had a heckuva run coming outta Turn 4 there!"

9: "So, you want a free hat? I'll even autograph it if we can forget this whole mess."

8: "You can't bust me in that car! It's got illegal shocks on it! I'm calling Mike Helton and having it impounded."

7: "I had the same thing happen to me in Talladega back in the spring. Boy, I made that cop look like stupid when I dropped the hammer on him!"

6: "I was speeding? Well, shoot... I forgot that this car was still in 'race trim'."

5: "Hey, where'd you get that uniform? 'Rent-a-Cop' used to be one of my sponsors... maybe we know the same people."

4: "Do you know who I am? No? Well, do you know who Jeff Gordon is? I do the same thing he does!" (Warning! Use this only with EXTREME caution!)

3: "Hey, man, I was just on my way to a mud-wrestling match between Miss Winston and a Hooters Girl... you wanna come with?"

2: "Why, yes, that is my 'all-access' hard card I gave you with my driver's licence... but why don't you hang onto it for me?"

And the number one thing a NASCAR driver should never say to a cop....

1: "Krispy Kreme sucks for a sponsor!"

 

that was funny.. props to that..

i especially liked number 5

 

11: "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look and sound just like Jeff Gordon? No? Oh- sorry ma'am..."

 

3: "Hey, man, I was just on my way to a mud-wrestling match between Miss Winston and a Hooters Girl... you wanna come with?"

 

If you're Kurt Bush, then the top thing you shouldn't say is "Joe Arpaio is a wimp".

 

How about - I was speeding? Can't I just go to the end of the longest line!

 

NO, occifer, I haven't been drinking. I was just doing some product testing for my sponsor....