I am fed up with living paycheck to paycheck. Every stinkin week we are racing to the bank to deposit our paychecks to beat the next check that comes in so it won't bounce. It is draggin us both down mentally because we are doing everything that we know to do. We both make pretty decent money but we have school loan debt, car loan, mortgage, credit card debt, plus the usual everyday needs, groceries, electric, etc. My wife and I together make close to 60,000 a year. I am wondering how in the world we got in this mess. It sucks to be making decent money for our age and we can't enjoy it. The credit card debt is what got it all started, I know. But we had just had our first child and the unexpected expenses started to happen. Then four years later, we got the bright idea to have another child. Now don't get me wrong, I love both my girls and I am glad we had them, but I wish we could have been a little more financially stable before we had them. Please, someone tell me that they used to be in this situation and are now living comfortably. I am hoping that we have something to look forward to but the light at the end of the tunnel isn't getting any brighter right now. Anyone have any suggestions on how they overcame this type of situation? I need some support guys or I don't know if we can take it any longer!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for letting me rant!!

 

Light at the end of the tunnel? You've been blessed with two high beam flashlights.

Don't worry about the light at the end of the tunnel now, since you're still travelling it. How about the little things, like shopping in bulk? I know, it's simple, and you probably already do it. I don't have kids, or a wife, so I can't relate fully. But I'm kind of bound with a big fat chunk of college debt, and a hefty rent payment. I yearn for my car insurance because it's the only "somewhat reasonable" bill I get. I actually get excited and go, "hey, I can afford that!". And this is in NJ, just to give you an idea....it's sick.

Now, I know that my parents never had it easy. Lots of medical expenses, big bills and debts. I dressed like a goober in school, but luckily for me (unluckily for the bank accts) I got to go to private school. We never could afford a brand new car, but "newer". I never really, and still don't have fancy clothes but I still felt spoiled everyday of my life. I had and have everything I NEEDED in life, it was just the things I WANTED that were harder to get.

Regardless...you're getting closer to that end. Just, take your time and try not to panic. The bills will end, and when those cards are paid off, CUT THEM UP. (Best thing I ever did).

Never lose sight of where you are though....while your bills may be big now, your kids are little. The bills will get smaller, but the girls will just get older, and in no time, there will be little FTE'ers on here asking us how to ask them out and what to do about their dad. Savor the times, regardless of how tough they are. My family's toughest times are my most memorable, because of how strong and tight it made us. Best of luck to you.

 

Thanks jd. I can relate to your childhood. My parents never had it easy, then they divorced when I was 7. My mom did one hell of a job raising two boys without any help at all from my dad. Sometimes when I think I have it bad, I look back on those days and remember how bad it must have been for mom.

 

It's always tough giving this type of info, but here goes - only my 2 cents.
My parents were not that well off but we also did not lack for much.
You say you have car payment(s)? Is it a brand new vehicle? If so could you not drive something nice reliable and used at much less the cost or payed off completely?
Can you consolidate your loans for a lower monthly payment or is the school loan held by the government at really low interest rate?
Credit cards yes can get you into trouble but they sure are handy to have if you don't have a lot of liquid funds and an emergency arises. My buddy reduced his limit to $500. He also put it into a large cup of water and froze it in the freezer- emerg only!
I hope thing get better and remember you can't buy health and happiness.

 

I agree with wildonecraig, this is hard to give out info. Sometimes people don't want to hear it (not saying you're one of these).

We went through almost 10 years of this before (recently) getting to the end of the tunnel, so realize it does take a while no matter how hard you work. Credit Card debt is the first killer, best way is to avoid having it althogether. We went a LONG time without CCs (no one would give us any ) and because of that we learned that if we can't pay for it up front we likely didn't need it. Over the years we furnished our home this way and to this day when I look around I am thankful that I didn't pay 5 years of 20% interest on the stuff in the house. Of course the down side to this is that we DID have to go wanting sometimes. Not easy waiting for a paycheck to say get your car fixed so you can go to work.

I'll stop here, but in my experience, credit card debt and excessive home refinances are what will prevent anyone from reaching the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I already practice the things in the links below.

In my family I am considered the epitome of being a Financial Surviver.

http://steverhode.com/moneysavinglinks.html

http://www.betterbudgeting.com/budgetformsfree.htm

http://www.bcsalliance.com/y_managingyourdebts3.html

http://www.stretcher.com/stories/04/04apr12d.cfm

http://www.personalfinancebudgeting....e_tracking.php

 

You have to regear your lifestyle and stick to it. You didnt get in huge debt overnight, so its not going away that fast. It will take self sacrifice and commitment, and doing without things. Things now that you might say, no way, but when your personal financial health is at deaths door, you will be glad you gave them up. First sit down with the wife and see what you can absolutely live without. That may be cable tv, pizza, hobbies ( yea trucks too) . Once that can live without list is made, start cutting away the frills. ...


Get those credit cards gone. Pay the highest interest ones off first. A lot of CC companies offer balance transfer payoffs for like 4 -6 % for the first year ( read the fine print, dont get locked in on a variable apr) . Balance transfer and pay off the high interest CC loans, then send a letter to close that cards account !. If not it will be too tempting to use that card again since it is paid off. Plus, when a card is paid off, the CC company will barrage you with GREAT deals, since your credit standing just got REAL good with that payoff...

If you are upside down on your vehicle loans, thats a tuff one. Do NOT try to trade off, the car lots only trade UP, not down. If you have a nice car/truck that will sell for more than it is worth, sell it, get a less expensive one. A house payment is a locked deal, you do not want to be late on it EVER. Do anything it takes to keep up good credit with your home loan. ..


It is going to take serious commitment to the cause, and a strong will , to not get back in the spend, spend, mode. Like you say , your youth makes you NEED a lot of things, because your just getting started in life. It is building a life. The key to it is keep in mind that just because you just HAVE to HAVE everything you want, doesnt mean you can have it right NOW. Accumalate it at a slower rate, and the monthly expenses will not be so overwhelming. A part time job may be a possibilty too, if time and energy permits. all jmo and good luck to you

 

All good advice. One thing I haven't seen here though is - carry a small pad or palm pilot, whatever, and make a note of every penny you spend for two weeks. This includes lunch, drinks, gum, truck parts, cigarettes, socks, everything. Then take a look at the end of two weeks and you'll be shocked where $100 or so per week goes. Rethink these expenditures, and apply those monies to making your situation better.

Good Luck,
Ernie

 

Hey yeah, good one greesubmarine! Last year we did that for 3 months before aplying for a home loan so we could see realistically how much home we could afford rather than take on too much debt. We tracked EVERYTHING for those 3 months and discovered a lot of places we could cut back. FOr example I would go out to eat maybe 4 lunches per week, I realized I could save maybe $200 /month by taking my lunch, and eat healthier to boot. You'd be surprised WHERE you can find the savings.

 

A visual aid to help save money,is having a big jar near the door to put your daily change in when you get home.

 

No, don't close your accounts!!! Bad for your credit score! You need to cut up the cards or just lock them up and practice self-control. The more unused credit you have, the better your score will be (check out a credit-reporting site for more insight on how your credit score is calculated). There's a book I saw in Border's and was reading one day that you might want to check out of a library, except I can't remember what it was called or what it looked like. So never mind that... anyway, moving on...

My parents made 80K/year before my mom got laid off and could never afford to live comfortably. It's how you spend your money, not how much you make. There are lots of things you can and should live without and lots of ways to do things cheaper. Buying in bulk is one of the biggest mistakes my parents made, because they ended up buying a 20 cubic foot freezer to put in the garage because they needed more freezer space and they never have anything to eat because the only thing they see in their cupboards when they open them are either cans of stewed tomatoes and mushrooms or giant boxes of cereal. Buying bulk can be a good thing... you have to put the time and effort and good sense into doing it responsibly.
You should try planning meals using fresh vegetables and meats. It's cheaper to eat healthy, but it takes more time. My parents always used to buy giant packs of frozen vegetables and stir fry dishes and whatnot. In fact, there's food in their freezer that's been there for nearly five years!!!
Never shop (or let your wife shop) in clearance sales. At least, steer clear for a few months, then wander through and don't let yourself buy things. You'll notice how when the price is "right", you "need" lots of things. I was getting drawn into that in a major way a few months ago, then I realized that I was buying things I didn't really like because it was a good deal.
You might try consolidating your debt as well, just be careful about that... if you're not going to change your lifestyle you're just treading water and not making any progress. Good luck with your situation and I hope it works out!

 

First pay off those credit cards.

Any interest that is being made in any account isn't making you any money b/c of the high interest you PAY on those CCs.

PAY OFF THE CREDIT CARDS.

 

I am a financial nightmare - what makes it worse is that I was born with the mentality that if I make it, I should get to spend it - throw in that I am a taurus and well you get the picture...

My financial life had me so down that I was literally trying to drink myself to death for like 15 years. Then I met this girl who just would not put up with my crap. She had a really great family and was a finance major to boot. I really didn't even care, I was too busy trying to drink myself to death. Dreading payday because it was a printed statement of how broke I really was... I had nothing to show for my 30 years on this planet and was living paycheck to paycheck with roommates in a crap-*** apartment in the ghetto in Las Vegas.

Then one day, I got a DUI. I thought for sure she'd leave me - was almost prepared. What I wasn't prepared for was for her family to take me in.

I worked a similar schedule to her father and he was willing to give me a ride to work, I just had to move in with them because they lived almost 25 miles away.

I lived with them for 6 months. I quit drinking. I cut down on smoking. I almost completely quit smoking the wacky. I put everything I made into their safe. I gave her parents a couple hundred a month (their request - yeah I couldn't believe it either). After only 4 months, I had paid off my fines, rebuilt a truck and saved almost $3000.

Now, I'll tell ya my credit is coming back slowly. But it is finally coming back. We live in a little rental house now with a nice dog, cool yard, small garage. We pay on time. We aren't making much headway, but we don't really want for anything either. The harder we work the more it pays off.

The best thing I ever did to better my financial situation was to QUIT FREAKIN' DRINKING. You would be absolutely shocked at how fast absolute crap ads up. You think a couple bucks here, couple there... Next thing you know you're broke.

Not to state the obvious either, but my truck gets LOUSY gas mileage. I know we all love our trucks but if money is so tight it's making you miserable it might make more financial sense for you to drive one of those little electric gas thingie's... I know if I got one it would save me almost $300 in gas alone and that's just my truck. Doesn't count the Bronco or her truck.


EDIT:
The moral there is, don't let money get you down...

You can't take it with you, they can't follow you into the afterlife to get you, and you don't want to waste your daughter's lives worried sick about money.

Make a game of it. Build a visual chart with all of your bills on it and the TOTALs. This is important. When you bust out some overtime and have a little extra - put it towards the smallest of the bills and pay it off entirely. This will end up reducing your total debt and your monthly payments by eliminating them one at a time. Plus, it helps you build up that stinkin' credit rating we all worry so much about.

Do less as far as spending on entertainment. If you live somewhere where there are trees, go play in the woods, go on picnics and nature walks with the kids... it doesn't cost and they will love that more in the long run than a movie or video game.

Trust me, I am the last person who should be sharing with you, but don't let life get you down. You have too much going for you.

 

Get a book called Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. Also look up Dave Ramsey on the internet.

1. have a garage sale. Get rid of as much junk as you can. Apply the proceeds to the cards
2. Cancel all subscription services (not magazines unless they refund the cash). Pay TV, cell phones, internet etc. You really don't need any of them, unless they are a source of income (net business).
3. Sell the car. Get a car you can pay cash for. Reduce the insuranced to state mandated minimum.
4. If you are paying penalty interest, apply for cards with zero interest intro rates for at least a year and transfer balances.
5. Line up all your debts. Pay minimums on all except the smallest. When the smallest is over, apply that payment to the next smallest. Keep going till you're done.
6. Take on extra work. If you are paid hourly look for overtime or projects you can do for other depts that will pay overtime. Or take on a night job. Since you are getting by on your income now, a job at a convienence store could provide extra income that will all be directed against debts.

It ain't pretty, it ain't easy, it ain't rocket science, but it will get you out of debt. It seems easier to get into debt because it's more fun (you're getting new toys right?). There's no status in driving a junker, but there's no status when the sheriff comes by to put a foreclosure sign on your door either.

 

Respectfully disagree on your advice to not close paid off credit card accounts. After say, fifteen years of collecting paid off, not used anymore CC accounts , that is a LOT of personal liability floating around. Studies have shown that when people get financial aid to get out of debt, the available credit cards that are paid in full, are like a glass of bourbon to a AA member. Too tempting until they can overcome the urger to charge. The more CC accounts floating around, the less financial personal security one has. If a person wants a good credit standing, establish it with their own banker in the form of personal loans . The persons banker will hold the lid on how much they will allow one to go in debt, because they REVIEW that customers income to debt ratio, EACH time they apply for a loan. . A CC company getting from 10 -23 % APR , LOVES it when people charge more than they can afford. On a note, I have closed probaly 6 card accounts in the last 14 years, and my credit is AAA++....


Credit cards are a cancer to ones financial well being. They are too easy, too ready, and they take MAJOR self control to handle responsibly. Using CREDIT means one does not HAVE the money to pay for the purchase, and is making a loan, and will pay back the loan in payments WITH interest. If one will learn to hand off CASH , instead of plastic, it will not take long to learn, one is spending more than they have. With credit cards that accumalate a monthly balance and that are NOT paid in full each month, a person will soon find themselves in major debt. The citizens of the USA now have more personal debt, than ever before. And along with that , the least amount of cash saved for emergencies. ...

A person should own one major bank credit card to have with them for emergencies. Pay it off in full each month. If not paid in full each month, the payee is losing financial ground. all jmo