T-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach.

1. I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.

2. On the front: 60 IS NOT OLD.
On the back: IF YOU'RE A TREE.

3. I'M STILL HOT... IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.

4. AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.

5. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.

6. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.

7. I'M NOT 50. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.

8. ANNAPOLIS--A DRINKING TOWN WITH A SAILOR PROBLEM.

9. I NEED SOMEBODY BAD... ARE YOU BAD?

10. PHYSICALLY PFFFFFT!

11. BUCKLE UP. IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO ****** YOU FROM YOUR CAR

12. I'M NOT A SNOB. I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.

13. IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD. I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.

14. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.

15. WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE DOG WAS ALLERGIC TO THEM...

16. DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED.

17. MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S GONE.

18. EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE", I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE.

19. CATS REGARD PEOPLE AS WARM-BLOODED FURNITURE.

20. LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THE PREACHER WILL NOT HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL.

 

Those are great, Eric.

I like those 4 best.

 

i liked em all.

 

I have a T-shirt catalog with :
I used to think drinking was bad ... so I gave up thinking
A pessimist is an optimist with experience
WARNING don't touch my truck
A man and his truck ... a beautiful thing (I have this one)
Hey! If you need anything ... don't hesitate to ask somebody else
Tell me, where is this BRIGHT SIDE you speak of?
Well Aged (I have to get this one)
This is not a BEER GUT ... it's a protective covering for rock hard abs
WARNING ... I have gas and I know how to use it
If I got smart with you ... how would you know?
We are born naked, wet and hungry ... then things get worse
Dono

 

Just got back from Maryland yesterday......one of the shirts I picked up basicly says.....
the beatings will continue till morale increases. Ya know, with nice pirate graphics and all.

 

I have one that says on front.. Dont run your fingers over my truck.. On back it says.. I wont run my truck over your fingers

 

A lot of my t-shirts are ......greasy.

 

I have one somewhere that says:

I am the Captain and there are but two rules!

1- Don't throw your empties on the deck.

2- And watch out for my Wife because....

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-She's the ADMIRAL!!!

 

I've got that one hanging in my office. I Love it

Chris

 

When I worked at an iron foundry about ten years ago, there was a group of us that had t-shirts printed up. On the front they said "What's the difference between working in a foundry and Hell?"

The back had the answer: "Hell is 20 degrees cooler and has better benefits!"


We got in trouble for that.

 

LOL, I bet HR didn't much care for that one.

 

I picked up a shirt down in St. John that reads, "If a man speaks at sea where no woman can hear, is he still wrong?"

 

Torque, those are great. O.C. has always been a great place to find funny t-shirts. I found the t from the 7-Up commercial a few years ago, on the front "make 7" on the back "up yours". The one about Annapolis is true.

 

I have one:
Its not a beer gut, its just a verandah over the tool shed....

 

I have one that says:
YOU"RE THE REASON I"M MEDICATED