What your car says about you...Part I
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10-21-2003, 06:47 PM
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What your car says about you...Part I
Got this a few years ago. Just ran across it again, hope it hasn't been posted already.
"What Your Car Says About You"
1. Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
2. Acura Legend: I'm too bland for German cars.
3. Acura NSX: I am impotent.
4. Audi 90: I enjoy putting out engine fires.
5. Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
6. Cadillac Eldorado: I am a very good Mary Kay salesperson.
7. Cadillac Seville: I am a pimp.
8. Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people.
9. Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
10. Chevrolet Corvette: I'm in a midlife crisis.
11. Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
12. Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
13. Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
14. Dodge Dart: I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.
15. Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
16. Ford Fairmont: (see Dodge Dart)
17. Ford Mustang: I slow down to 85 in school zones.
18. Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow down to 55 and change lanes when I pull up behind them.
19. Ford Escort: I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
20. Ford Focus: I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
21. Geo tracker: I couldn't afford a real SUV.
22. Honda Civic: I have just graduated and I have no credit.
23. Honda Accord: I am a college kid spending Daddy's money on ugly car accessories.
24. Honda Del Sol: I have always said that half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.
25. Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Part II coming up.
"What Your Car Says About You"
1. Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
2. Acura Legend: I'm too bland for German cars.
3. Acura NSX: I am impotent.
4. Audi 90: I enjoy putting out engine fires.
5. Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
6. Cadillac Eldorado: I am a very good Mary Kay salesperson.
7. Cadillac Seville: I am a pimp.
8. Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people.
9. Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
10. Chevrolet Corvette: I'm in a midlife crisis.
11. Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
12. Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
13. Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
14. Dodge Dart: I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.
15. Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
16. Ford Fairmont: (see Dodge Dart)
17. Ford Mustang: I slow down to 85 in school zones.
18. Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow down to 55 and change lanes when I pull up behind them.
19. Ford Escort: I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
20. Ford Focus: I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
21. Geo tracker: I couldn't afford a real SUV.
22. Honda Civic: I have just graduated and I have no credit.
23. Honda Accord: I am a college kid spending Daddy's money on ugly car accessories.
24. Honda Del Sol: I have always said that half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.
25. Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Part II coming up.
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10-21-2003, 07:16 PM
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What Your Car Says About You, Part II
26. Isuzu Impulse: I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
27. Jaguar XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that's in the shop 280 days per year.
28. Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
29. Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
30. Mercury Grand Marquis: I'm not old enough for a Lincoln yet.
31. Mercedes 500SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
32. Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an 18 wheeler.
33. MGB: I am dating a mechanic.
34. Mitsubishi Diamante: I don't know what it means either.
35. Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
36. Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car.
37. Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted list.
38. Plymouth/ Dodge Neon: I live on Pop-Tarts and Ramen noodles.
39. Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock.
40. Porsche 944: I am dating big-haired women that would otherwise be inaccesible to me.
41. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal.
42. Saturn SC2: (see Honda Civic)
43. Subaru Outback: I think Crocodile Dundee is a great pitchman.
44. Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet.
45. Volkswagen Beetle: I still watch Brady Bunch reruns.
46. Volkswagen Cabriolet: I am out of the closet.
47. VW Microbus: I am tripping right now.
48. Volvo 740 Wagon: I am frightened of my wife.
Obviously some of these are out of date, what do newer vehicles say?
Addendum: Buick Regal: The previous owner died and left me this car.
27. Jaguar XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that's in the shop 280 days per year.
28. Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
29. Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
30. Mercury Grand Marquis: I'm not old enough for a Lincoln yet.
31. Mercedes 500SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
32. Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an 18 wheeler.
33. MGB: I am dating a mechanic.
34. Mitsubishi Diamante: I don't know what it means either.
35. Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
36. Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car.
37. Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted list.
38. Plymouth/ Dodge Neon: I live on Pop-Tarts and Ramen noodles.
39. Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock.
40. Porsche 944: I am dating big-haired women that would otherwise be inaccesible to me.
41. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal.
42. Saturn SC2: (see Honda Civic)
43. Subaru Outback: I think Crocodile Dundee is a great pitchman.
44. Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet.
45. Volkswagen Beetle: I still watch Brady Bunch reruns.
46. Volkswagen Cabriolet: I am out of the closet.
47. VW Microbus: I am tripping right now.
48. Volvo 740 Wagon: I am frightened of my wife.
Obviously some of these are out of date, what do newer vehicles say?
Addendum: Buick Regal: The previous owner died and left me this car.
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10-22-2003, 03:48 AM
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