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i wish this forum had a “like” function for posts, this made me laugh.
It does! See the scales at the top-right side of each post, just to the right of the post number? You can click that and post positive feedback.
When I expect to be among GM and Fiat owners, I wear this hat ...
So my ex sister in law shows up to X-Mas in 2016 with her new man... I hear this gawd awful racket coming from the driveway. What is rolling down my driveway is a 94 Ram 2500 with the big ole 5.2 gasser in it, a cummins sticker in the back window that was placed on crooked, straight piped, and 4"x4" blocks of wood as a lift kit so he could clear his bald mud bogging tires. This truck... and I direct quote him here was the most "Bad az$ sum bich in all of hart county" and "bark em in 2nd if yaint being feather footed on-er". This guy was 32yr old at the time and sister in law was 20. He had on a dale sr. shirt with no sleeves and a open case of natural light on the floor of the truck. At the time I had just had the heads done on my f150 and swapped out the truck cams for the mustang ones so I was showing him around my garage trying to be a good host and I was also going out on a limb that he was not going to talk about fine wine and if I tired to talk to him about fine firearms I was just going to hear how bad a$z his glock 19 was...so we just stuck to the topic of trucks and tools. After about 2 hours of him drinking natties and me sipping walker blue and green in the garage we get ready to wrap it up. When they are leaving I caution them to stay as he had been drinking. proceeds to tell me that its OK, they are going to get a room as they are flush with about 1500 cash from some insurance money they just got because a tree fell on the trailer house and "BY GAWD THEY GAVE ME 1600 TO FIX THE ROOF AND A TARP WAS ONLY $49 BUCK AT HARBOR FREIGHT....!!" I dint know what to say other than "OK well have a good night it was nice to meet you." She ended up getting married to him for 6 months and they got divorced because she wanted him to get a job and he never would....
So my ex sister in law shows up to X-Mas in 2016 with her new man... I hear this gawd awful racket coming from the driveway. What is rolling down my driveway is a 94 Ram 2500 with the big ole 5.2 gasser in it, a cummins sticker in the back window that was placed on crooked, straight piped, and 4"x4" blocks of wood as a lift kit so he could clear his bald mud bogging tires. This truck... and I direct quote him here was the most "Bad az$ sum bich in all of hart county" and "bark em in 2nd if yaint being feather footed on-er". This guy was 32yr old at the time and sister in law was 20. He had on a dale sr. shirt with no sleeves and a open case of natural light on the floor of the truck. At the time I had just had the heads done on my f150 and swapped out the truck cams for the mustang ones so I was showing him around my garage trying to be a good host and I was also going out on a limb that he was not going to talk about fine wine and if I tired to talk to him about fine firearms I was just going to hear how bad a$z his glock 19 was...so we just stuck to the topic of trucks and tools. After about 2 hours of him drinking natties and me sipping walker blue and green in the garage we get ready to wrap it up. When they are leaving I caution them to stay as he had been drinking. proceeds to tell me that its OK, they are going to get a room as they are flush with about 1500 cash from some insurance money they just got because a tree fell on the trailer house and "BY GAWD THEY GAVE ME 1600 TO FIX THE ROOF AND A TARP WAS ONLY $49 BUCK AT HARBOR FREIGHT....!!" I dint know what to say other than "OK well have a good night it was nice to meet you." She ended up getting married to him for 6 months and they got divorced because she wanted him to get a job and he never would....
Similar but he was driving a Chevy Volt and they were drinking 'Beaujolais Yesterday' a fine aged wine. They wanted to see my new King Ranch F 350 and as we were looking at it he asked if it had a electric option I said yes, 10 way power and heated seats. Sis said he had not found a job yet and he chimed in with 'yea I have a PhD and got laid off when Trump got elected'. Of course I asked him if he had any of his degree in Science and Engineering or some kind of Business degree...no he had been working in the Community Organizing field as a social worker counseling the poor and disadvantaged on applying for government aid. I told him I thought that was real 'stylish'. I looked at Sis and asked how they met? He came in to her Starbucks and ordered a Flat White half soy milk, half coconut milk, double decaf espresso and organic honey and she thought he was cool so she she did not charge him for the drink. 'bout that time I said it was time for dinner and come on in. He took off his jacket and I noted the Hillary 2020 T shirt. Sis asked if I got anything for Christmas from my wife. I said yea, she told me I could get that Smith I had been wanting and she gave me a bottle of Rimfire Texas Mesquite smoked whiskey...oh and I got some prime rib steak how do you guys like your steaks, Rare or? Then I showed them the steaks.
Turned out they ate Vegan, so I asked what kind of meat is that? They said they don't eat meat so said how about some veggies...steak fries or a baked potato with real butter, cheese and sour cream. They said they were't hungry and has some friends in town they wanted to visit while they were here. I walked them to the door and Sis asked if I could maybe help them out, being a barista did not pay big and Avery hand not worked since Trump came into office. I looked and him and her said Sis, have not heard from you in 11 years since you grad from college with a Masters degree some basket weaving thing and I told you social stuff is not paying stuff. I have worked hard to get where I am at and yes I will help you guys out. Stop by tomorrow about 10 I will have the coffee on and yes I still drink it black and I don't have any soy coco puffs or whatever that flat tire thing you guys drink is. I need to get out and i have some acreage I need to run my box scraper over and a road I am building on the place and you can pick up the rocks the box scraper kicks up. I will give you each $250 and suggest you wear something besides those sandals you got on.
As they drove away the back was covered in Obama and Hillary etc have not seen or heard since.
Similar but he was driving a Chevy Volt and they were drinking 'Beaujolais Yesterday' a fine aged wine. They wanted to see my new King Ranch F 350 and as we were looking at it he asked if it had a electric option I said yes, 10 way power and heated seats. Sis said he had not found a job yet and he chimed in with 'yea I have a PhD and got laid off when Trump got elected'. Of course I asked him if he had any of his degree in Science and Engineering or some kind of Business degree...no he had been working in the Community Organizing field as a social worker counseling the poor and disadvantaged on applying for government aid. I told him I thought that was real 'stylish'. I looked at Sis and asked how they met? He came in to her Starbucks and ordered a Flat White half soy milk, half coconut milk, double decaf espresso and organic honey and she thought he was cool so she she did not charge him for the drink. 'bout that time I said it was time for dinner and come on in. He took off his jacket and I noted the Hillary 2020 T shirt. Sis asked if I got anything for Christmas from my wife. I said yea, she told me I could get that Smith I had been wanting and she gave me a bottle of Rimfire Texas Mesquite smoked whiskey...oh and I got some prime rib steak how do you guys like your steaks, Rare or? Then I showed them the steaks.
Turned out they ate Vegan, so I asked what kind of meat is that? They said they don't eat meat so said how about some veggies...steak fries or a baked potato with real butter, cheese and sour cream. They said they were't hungry and has some friends in town they wanted to visit while they were here. I walked them to the door and Sis asked if I could maybe help them out, being a barista did not pay big and Avery hand not worked since Trump came into office. I looked and him and her said Sis, have not heard from you in 11 years since you grad from college with a Masters degree some basket weaving thing and I told you social stuff is not paying stuff. I have worked hard to get where I am at and yes I will help you guys out. Stop by tomorrow about 10 I will have the coffee on and yes I still drink it black and I don't have any soy coco puffs or whatever that flat tire thing you guys drink is. I need to get out and i have some acreage I need to run my box scraper over and a road I am building on the place and you can pick up the rocks the box scraper kicks up. I will give you each $250 and suggest you wear something besides those sandals you got on.
As they drove away the back was covered in Obama and Hillary etc have not seen or heard since.
can I come join you for dinner and a drink. I'll pick up rocks for 250 why not cash is king. Lol
Stop by tomorrow about 10 I will have the coffee on and yes I still drink it black and I don't have any soy coco puffs or whatever that flat tire thing you guys drink is.
THIS^^^^ AHAHAH!! I read this and im crying over here...My ole lady is looking at me like im nuts... I mean I am, but thats not the point.
can I come join you for dinner and a drink. I'll pick up rocks for 250 why not cash is king. Lol
LOL, from the looks of the Volt and their clothes I suspect they were not doing well at all and kinda 2 things, gonna help them a little and see just how bad they needed the money. On that same note almost every time I see a "Homeless Veteran" looking for a handout I tell them if you come to this corner tomorrow morn at 9am I will take you to breakfast, feed you lunch and buy you dinner and pay you $15 an hour cash tomorrow for ranch work with me, mostly picking up rocks or dragging limbs to my burn pile.
I have NEVER in all the years since I retired from the military in '94 ever had a guy show up at the corner I met him on. When I lived in town, I was tell them I would have them rake leaves, just do some outside WORK with me. NO ONE ever showed up at the house or the corner except 1 black guy and at lunch he asked for $10 bucks to eat on. He walked off and I never saw him again.
12-25-2018, 10:59 PM
