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Old 03-18-2013, 05:31 PM
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Nebraska Women

Three friends married women from different states.

The first man married a woman from Maine. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Minnesota. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Nebraska. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees!!!!!.
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Old 03-21-2013, 06:27 AM
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A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Kathleen, soon we will be married 30 years, and there's something I have to know.
In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Kathleen replied, "Well Gerry, I have to be honest with you, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 30 years, but always for a good reason."

Gerry, obviously hurt by his wife's confession, said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons'?"

Kathleen replied, "The very first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

Gerry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?" Gerry asked.

"Do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."

"I remember that," said Gerry,"and you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."

"All right," Kathleen said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"
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