Does look like it is going to get interesting...better make enough for 2 buddy.

 

This thread is going to the......

 

that picture is OUTSTANDING

 

Savage....Ya missed the claw make on the door.......

 

I don't have a dog so I will post this instead

Tool cheat sheet

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh ****!'

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

FLAT-TIP SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the $500 sheet metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. It is especially valuable at being able to find the EXACT location of the thumb or index finger of the other hand.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. (I used a couple of these trying to connect to the pass thru wires on the engine side)

 

 

you just know it's there (the claw mark)!

LOL at darren's tool list.

 

Thanks! They are unusually well behaved dogs.

@Darren - LOL at the tool list!

This one is not funny Darren.....
"DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it."
'Cuz I BTDT!

 

Darren, that's way tooo funny!

 

Ya missed one importain part........As the metal stock is ripped outa your hand......It slices a 10 stitch gash in the palm of your hand....Oh and don't forget...It is the right hand if you are right handed, and the left hand if you are left handed...

 

...and Darren....That list is toooo damn true!!

I'll bet 5 bucks you have done it all................

 

A lot of those power tool statements have happened to me over the years, good stuff

Roy sorry to hear about the BS.........I hope things work out soon

 

Thanks Gerry......It just might be Theresa (5 yr old) and I making the trip north to visit ........... That'll work for me...... I do need some peace in my life....

 

One milling machine with 1-1/2 HP 220V motor + 13/16" drill into 1/2" thick 1018 steel plate + long nasty chips + one poorly placed shop rag = a 190 RPM mess.

 

Every man needs peace in his life Roy, not just you, I hope she realizes how special you are........