1.Babies Cry, some times for no reason at all, don't let it stress you out.

2. Momma is usually the only one that can put the baby to sleep in the first few months.

3. Just when ya get the baby to sleep.. Fred will howl

4. Diapers they are listed in lbs.. that isn't for how much they should weigh before you replace them.

5. Late for Church? or Work? you can bet, the baby is going to spit up on your shirt just as you get ready to walk out of the house.. Keep an extra shirt in the car, you will thank me later.

6. Baby Poo.... it usually doesn't stay in the diaper until they get older. Always pack plenty of diapers, and baby clothes.

7. Justin.. no nookie for a long.... long....long time once the baby is born.

8. Baby wipes, although expenive when you buy a bunch of them, are worth their weight in gold.

9. for later on, when you start buying Barbies.. there is no use buying them with the clothes on, after the first two days.. you will never know where the clothes went to, and if you have a girl, and if she is anything like my daughters... there will be a Roman Orgy in the floor of your bath tub. Ken has to be the luckiest man alive

10. Start practicing for no sleep now, so that when you are up all night with the baby, you will still be able to function.

11. Hangovers.. so much worse when there is a baby crying.. it might even drive ya to not drink.

12. The baby will likely sleep when the vaccuum is running just fine, maybe even when dogs are barking, or TV is on, or even other loud noises.. but when its quiet, and you get up in the night to pee.. the floor will creek... and somehow, in a separate room, where there is no way the baby could hear it.. it will startle the baby, and it will be hours before anyone gets any sleep.

13.You will be ok.. you will survive. Just when you think you can't do it any longer.. think of the Duggars..

13.. Yeah.. I know there are two 13s.. because you need to read 13 again.

14. A Baby on your chest, is the key ingredient for making you tired, they put out a bunch of heat.

15. Babies like car rides when all else fails, go for one.

16. Start training dogs now! Perhaps even carry a life sized doll in your arms, to see how they react. Right now, they think of themselves as your children, with three dogs, there is going to be competition for your attention, make sure they don't get jealous of the baby, you still need to pay as much attention to the dogs as you did before.


More advice to come.. Guys.. add in what I missed.

 

17.when its a boy.. you only got one weiner to worry about..

18. when its a girl.. you have every New York Congressman's and their Weiners to worry about ( you will understand if you been watching the news otherwise Google Congressman Weiner)

 

19. Everything below hip high is reachable for a toddler, and they will pull things down on them from places that seem impossible.

20. Bugs.. even if it is a girl.. fascinate children.

21. You will find that ghosts live in your house because when there is a mess, and you know that you, or your spouse didn't do it, and your child claims "I didn't do it!" that only leaves one explanation. Ghosts.

 

22. For some unknown reason, dogs,even the ones who aren't usually known for chewing on anything other than food, will pick your child's favorite toys to chew on, and shred.

23. If you have cats.. your poor baby will be its punching bag.. (notice we don't have a cat anymore.)

24. VERY IMPORTANT!! I learned this the hard way, once the child is crawling, you need to be very very watchful with doors, and pinch points. Even if all you are doing is walking away to use the restroom, make sure when you close that door behind you.. there isn't a finger or hand in the way of the door closing.

 

25. They are not going to catch every deadly disease in the world and instantly die. Our daughter had everyone use hand sanitizer before touching the first child. After that with the others they were fair game for anyone, even with dirty hands and kisses from the dog. All of them seemed to catch about the same number of colds etc.

26. They will put everything in their mouth whether it is clean and good or bad and gross. They still manage to thrive. Bugs must be healthy and make them grow.

27. Your wife will go on a crying bing some day after the baby arrives. Just plan on it, there is nothing you can do to prevent it. It is just one of those things and it will probably be your fault for no reason.

 

28. Its not too early to interview daycares and get your name in to a good one, give them a date of when you plan to start, if you really like one, you may have to pay to hold the spot for a little while so the spot doesn't get filled by someone else. (be nice to your day care provider they have enough stress to deal with)

29. Expensive toys don't intrigue children as much as the boxes they came in.

30. Do yourself a huge favor!! Don't buy your children noisy toys, save those for gifts for someone that you wish to torture. : )

 

31. The calmer/quieter, you are when you hold your baby, the calmer/quieter the baby will be. Don't get stressed out, the baby will feed off of that stress and then there is no calming it down.

32. Still plan on Date Nights!! This is very important as well! It will help both of you!

 

33. If there is a "parents as teachers" group in Abilene or something similar they can be a good help for first time parents to ask those questions that your mom or dad has forgotten the answer to. i.e. the baby has a temp when do we go to the doc or ER.

 

34. Don't be afraid to set boundaries with grandpa or grandma. This is your child, so raise them your way. At the same time don't be afraid to ask grandpa or grandma, aunts, uncles etc. for help.

 

35. Any changes, upgrades, maintenance that you need to get done on your toys.... better get them done now!!! because once the baby is born, those toy funds shrink considerably.

 

36. Justin.... don't under any circumstances!!! grab mamma's Who Haassss and twist em.. she probably didn't like it before, she for sure aint gonna like it after the baby is born. don't ask me how I know.

 

37. I can't stress 36 enough!!

 

38. You know that nice stereo with the awesome subwoofer that goes to 250db? Useless once the baby is in the car.. replace it with a stroller to keep peace in the family.

 

39. carbon monoxide detectors, smoke, and fire detectors. funny how they help you sleep better at night when there is a baby in the house.

 

40. No matter what enjoy. The time goes by faster than you can imagine.