Where/When/How/Why did the "tradition" of kicking offspring out of the house when they turn 18 start?

I can't figure it out...

 

Why do you think it is a "tradition" to kick kids out at 18?

 

Well, I've heard of the "family tradition" of having a fist fight with your father and being thrown out at 18, or being taken down and signed up with the Marines against your will at 18, and letting the girl marry some a-hole just to get rid of her, but I wouldn't call these "traditions".

The wife and I were older--40 & 36--when we got married. First for both. Our second kid was born when we were 43 & 39. I've told them both they can stay here as long as they need to, want to, etc, as long as they are doing "what they are supposed to do...", a rather open-ended idea I'll admit.

We both waited a long time, we are spending a fortune on private schools, and we are trying to bring 'em along as best we can. We put a value on education, just like our parents did. We love our kids. Just like our parents did. We require our kids to do certain things, study, etc. Just like our parents did. That's our tradition.

I'd like to think the majority of people have something similar in mind, and are not part of what I hope is a tiny minority of idiots who are still puzzled as to the source of their children and can't wait to be rid of the responsibility.

 

Well, I'm going to be hitting that age in... 380 days.

Not a long time... lol


I've been told if I wanna stay after that, I better cough up some rent money, and I have to be going to college.


But, while it may be "tradition" for most parents, let me tell you something.


I'm outta here when I turn 18.

 

I didn't kick my son out at 18. He was about 30 when he moved out the last time. I would let him move in now if he needed a place to stay & get on his feet. I believe in offering him a hand up. I don't plan to let him just move in & not try to get a job. I want to see him on his own.

 

This has been going on for a long time -- and it's more the idea that at 18, you should be starting to make your own way .

I'm a first year baby boomer, and it was pretty much pay some rent (so, get a job) or go to school. It wasn't harsh. I had taken all college prep courses, so getting a job wasn't really working that well. Joined the Air Force.
(turned out to be a good move, although sometimes not that much fun )

I don't know what would have happened if I would have pushed it. Probably mostly a lot of grumbling. But, it wouldn't have been a good time.

We pressed our kids to step up when they got out of HS, and they did.

I've helped my kids out since then, and I'd do it again. Encouraging them to become adults is not breaking up the family.

 

My oldest daughter who is now 22 left when she was 19 and got married. The deal was very simple.

She could stay as long as she needed to, no questions asked. If she stayed in college, I'll pay for everything. If she dropped out of school (which she did), she had to cover her personal expenses such as car insurance, cell phone, etc.

My youngest daughter who is turning 17 next week has been made the very same offer. My kids know that this is still their home and they can come back anytime they need to.

I don't see how booting a kid out because they turn a certain age is beneficial to anyone.

 

That's the way it was in my father's home when he was growing up...8 kids...3 bedrooms...1 bathroom kind of dictated it. Of course...it was a vastly different time...he was born in '27. All the boys went into the service...most of the girls got married.

Now he raised me and my siblings differently...as long as we were in college...we were welcome to stay at home. There have been a few bounce back incidents...one of which has lasted the past 9 years!!!

 

I could not wait to leave at 18!......I could not live under Dads "**** regime" anymore........After 4 years in the Air Force, I saw his way of doing things in a total different light!
Not too proud to say that, after the service, my new wife and I had move back in for a year before getting on our feet.....Dad was tough, but fair always.

 

IMHO, the whole "out the door at 18" thing comes from the "gimme numbbutt" generation that has proven time and again that they should not have reproduced, nor should their offspring reproduce.

As for my situation when I turned 18: My father said he wanted me to stay so he had someone to do "the dirty work" around the house and "the greasy work" on the families fleet of vehicles. Heck, I had something called CHORES when I was growing up, and still had those to do to "earn my keep", along with the "dirty and greasy work". No one really knows how much money I saved my family by doing all those jobs, but I know that my father appreciated what I did, and was happy to feed me and keep a roof over my head while I went to school and did the "dirty work". I learned a lot about auto repair and life from that, and pass it on to my own children at this time (16,12), who do chores and work on my vehicles with me.

Out the door at 18? Not in my house, unless they get out of line and need a lesson in tough love and need a reality check.

 

I stayed at home & supported my family when I was 18. My dad was paralyzed so he couldn't work. My sisters & I paid off our parents home for them by the time I was 18. We farmed & paid the note out of our earnings. My dad was a great teacher. When I did leave home I had no problem making it because of the things he taught me. Dad couldn't walk but he could lay out jobs in such detail I could do them. He taught me how to repair our farm equipment setting in his living room. I repaired & overhauled tractor motors ,small engines ,farm equipment. I became a good operator by listening to his instructions. I can drive anything on a farm. I got my first tractor at 14. I made lots of money with it. I tried to teach my son the same way. He didn't listen & has made lots of bad choices. I had a different life from his. I grew up working & never looked for a easy way out. I knew I was supposed to help my family & didn't leave home till both of my sisters finished collage. I still take care of Mom. She spent 40 yrs taking care of dad. Many wives would leave instead of becoming homebound with a invalid. Its my time now to make sure she gets the care she needs.

 

I'm just wondering if that is part of the reason our society is somewhat "screwed up". People leaving home before they are ready, not having a good paying job or roof over their head and being scared/overwhelmed by being told to start saving now for retirement when they can't even pay for their present situation.

Strength and stability is found in family and it seems (from my viewpoint) that families are not looking out for their own very well(a lack of communication) and letting the children raise themselves with television, latchkeys, microwaveable dinners, cellphones at young ages because "all the other kids have one"(yeah, and if they jumped off a cliff would you follow?)

It's different when they want to leave at 18 because then at least they have drive and desire to try to succeed and make it on their own.

 

I think the biggest thing is kids going away to college, which generally is at 18. I was at my parents until I was 21 I think, then again for a bit when I quit renting until I was 23 when I bought my first home, moved back in for a couple months last year after selling my first home and buying my second and began renovating my new house before I even moved in. I am 28 now and when I sell this house in a few years I will probably move back in to their place for a month or 2 depending on what I buy if I can move in right away or not. They don't mind.

 

Although I stayed at school my first year of college, I lived at home until I was 26. Couldn't really afford to live on my own while I was in college, my parents were split up at the time and no one offered to help me with my rent, so I just stayed with my mom. I've been living completely on my own since then (that was in 2006).

My mom did throw one of my brothers out of the house when he was still in high school...but that's because he was a little a-hole all the time and she just couldn't put up with him anymore. She sent him to live with my dad. He's now 26 and has been working full time for 5 years, and still lives there, although he's been pretty seriously dating a girl lately and it wouldn't surprise me if he moves in with her sometime soon.

 

My mom told me when I graduated from high school military, college, peace corp, or pay rent.