I dropped a tree in my backyard last year, and the carcass is now an issue. How to cut it up without killing a chainsaw...

My answer?

I'm carving coal pits into it in strategic places and lighting charcoal in the holes. Pity I don't have a "NAIL ON GRILL", but the tree will be cut by turning it into a big HIBACHI grill...

I decided on this system because of the wind this weekend (I don't want a lot of flames and hot ash) and because I started to think about dugout canoes.

Come to think of it - I could make a grill out of coathangers, and enjoy this tree all summer while cooking on it (or would that be IN it?). Roofing tacks would do.