Fair enough.
Turns out my pal is coming here tomorrow anyway, and we're going to haul it out of there. He negotiated it down to $350, and we'll clip gray explorer seats, radio, headlight switch and a headliner and cut it to fit, so his total cost should be about $450-475 or thereabouts. He looked around and didn't see any rims/tires that would fit, so I guess we'll have to find something before he drags it home.
I'd have snagged it myself except I don't need another project in the driveway. I have two as it is.