wasamatta, nobody gots nuttin to say?

i will start this roller-coaster off then.

An old man goes to answer a knock at the door one evening.... to find
two sheriff deputies’s standing there.
"Sir, are you married?" One deputy asked.
"Why yes," the old man replied "for 48 years."
"Do you have a photograph of your wife sir?" the second deputy questioned.
The old man pulled a picture out his wallet and handed to the
officers. They looked it over and handed it back to him.

"Sir, I'm sorry but it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck."
The old man says, "I know sir, but she's got a wonderful personality
and she's a great cook."