Chuck Norris can do wheelies on unicycles hahaha....your move...

Randy, those are freaking hilarious!!!

hey Kenny, how are things today? i have to agree with you, those jokes are pretty funny, i about died laughing on a few of them

haha ya no kiddin! i'm doin ok, get a parts list together for the 300 and locating everything...probably gonna have to ask the folks for some early Christmas cash to get it done. how things on ur end Jerry? i take it from some of ur earlier posts that u found a job?

nope no job, just prospects, printing more prospects off for tomorrow. again, sorry to hear about the truck, well im out of here, off to bed. later

ya no problem, i'm going to attempt a "glass half full" approach to the situation and say it's for the best. i'm about ready for bed too, i'll c u guys bright and early after class tomorrow!

Good Morning Nebraska!!!!!

Pat, Neil, when you guys get here look at my Sig:-missingt:-missingt

Hung Chow calls in to work and says,
"Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick.
I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."

The boss says,
"You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I
feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex.
That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again:
"Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at
work soon. You got nice house."

Letter from the Pen**


Dear Management,

I, the Pen**, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1. I do physical labor .

2. I work at great depths.

3. I plunge head in first into everything I do.

4. I do not get weekend off or public holidays off.

5. I work in a damp environment.

6. I don not get paid overtime.

7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

8. I work in high temperatures.

9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

LETTER TO THE PEN** FROM MANAGEMENT

Dear Pen**,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,

the administration rejects your treatment for the following reasons:

1. You cannot work 8 hours straight

2. You fall asleep on the job after a brief work periods.

3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

4. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other locations.

5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in order to start working.

6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.


7. You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.

8. You will retire well before you are 65.

9. You are unable to work , double shifts.

10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

11. And if that were not all , you have been seen constantly entering
and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,


The Management.

An older man went to see his Doctor in need of Viagra.

"I can help you out with that," Says the Doctor.

"Can I cut them in half and take him that way?" asked the old man

"I suppose you can, but do you mind if i ask why?" the doctor asked with a puzzled and bizare look on his face.

Then the old man replied: "Oh, Doctor, i dont need them for sex, i just need it hard enough so i can quit pissing on my feet."

sorry guys :confused:, i had to post a few that i knew of:eek:. enjoy!:-drink

WOHOOO!! this is Number 250!!!!

Hey boys - Last day of work and Off to Cabo!! Pat - sorry but if the plane goes down, Brian gets the 69, but if he don't want it your second on the list;) You will all have to fight over the 56. Just think 85 degree days, sunshine, margaritas and ocean - Damn, I won't get a thing done today!

your lucky george

Good Morning Jerry, George, and all the other Ford fans! I would have posted earlier, but I've spent the last 20 minutes reading Randys jokes!! Man, he was rolling!!

George, you and the wife have a fantastic trip! BTW, I'll just arm wrestle Brian for the 69, if it comes to that!! Oh, yeah, don't forget to take cocktails cups. so you won't have to make 50 trips to the bar!!

Hey, check out this video, this dog is nuts!!

Dog Having a Blast in the Snow - Video

Morning all, looks to be a balmy 17 out, feel sorry for the kids going to school,lol