Everyone knows Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong..." -
Here are some other Laws you may not have heard of, including some I made up myself:



Andy’s Law of Nature’s Call: The filthier your hands are, the stronger the need to go to the bathroom will be.

Andy’s Law of Fasteners: The more inaccessible the location of a bolt or nut, the more “boogered up” the threads will be.

Andy’s Law of the Shop Phone: The phone will only ring after you have begun to apply a fast curing adhesive, sealant, or epoxy.

Andy’s Law of Arachnophobia: The more intricate, involved, and delicate the task, the bigger the spider will be that you suddenly notice is very near you.

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: Your nose will begin to itch after your hands become coated with grease.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible location.

Lowery's Law of Home Repair: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Beach's Law: Interchangeable parts aren't.

Tussman's Law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

Lane's Law of Supply and Demand: The one item you need is always in short supply.

Cannon's Kharmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning, you will have a flat tire.

Martin's Law of Meteorology: The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

Ehrlich's Law: The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Norman Einstein's Law: If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Col. Murphy's Law of Combat: Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

 

Ha! Ha!! Ha!!! Here's my list!!! Some are the same,,, some are close!! All are funny as getout!!


Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal & someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

 

Cool, more to add to my list! That second to the last one, Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy, makes me think of what I call the "Costco Law:" If you go back to Costco to buy more of a product you really like, they won't be carrying it anymore.

 

Those two are my favorites. I think I'll print them out in large font and tape them above my workbench.

 

... and for those facing conflict everyday:

Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-*** Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas.

 

If it can't be fixed with a hammer,,, it's an electrical problem!!!

 

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That's because I use the bigger hammer theory!!!

Just keep grabbing a BIGGER hammer until it's fixed or demolished!!

 

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You know me well!! Ha! Ha!! Ha!!!

 

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Law of repeatability- If you do manage to fix something it will never work when you show it to some one.

 

ooOOoo!! Good one!!