The motherlode (of bowtie jokes)
#31
05-06-2011, 07:55 AM
#32
09-01-2011, 11:13 PM
Postmaster
I figured that it was because chevys ran deep into your pockets draining the cash out of them being fixed all the time...
as for jokes, even tho i love fords and i grew up with a ford most of my life I did have a dodge minivan and crysler vans (mom drove them) and ill be happy to poke fun at Fords, im down for a good laugh...
GM/GMC = Government Motors, Got More Crap, Got More Coming, Got Mechanic Coming
AMC = Another Mexican Car (or again Mexican crap) [yes I can get away with these because of having so many Mexican friends and other reasons....no im not aiming the jokes at people]
FORD = first on race day or *****ed On Race Day, Found On Road Dead
DODGE = if you can't Dodge it, Ram it
Read A Manual (as in the owners manual)
CHEVY = Check Her Engine Valves Yearly
#34
11-06-2011, 05:17 PM
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oh dang,, you didnt.... yep you did..
first on race day
found off-road rescuing dodges
Chevrolet
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed
CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
Car Hardly Ever Vacates Yard
CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy
Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET = Chews Heads, Eats Valves, Runs Only Lousy Ets
GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company
GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming
GMC= Gay Mans Chariot
GM= General Mistake
GM= Glued Metal
GMC= Garage Man's Companion
IROC= I Run On Credit
IROC= I'm a retard out cruising
Idiotic retard Out Cruising
I reek of cologne
I really own crap
Z28= Zippy 2.8 Liter
SS= Super Slow
RS - Really ****ty
CORVETTE= Completely Over-Rated, Very Expensive, Technically Troubled Engine.
"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."
Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.
Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle
Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.
Q. How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A. Fill up the gas tank.
Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.
Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.
Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.
Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the Ford towing it.
Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
A. A tampon comes with its own tow rope
Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two Fords
Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.
Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the
shop
Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.
Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?
Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.
Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.
A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and
said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with
me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the
sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and
I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned
and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Chevy, YOU ride in it!!!"
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
our tools would rust.
From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the
road. The rest made it home.
Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65,
Chevys-do the
best you can"
Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.
Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the
rest.
Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.
You can Ford a stream, you can Dodge a stream, but a Chevy will sit
and rust in a stream.
A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he
had, how
many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man,
growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how
much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat
and said to the young
man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup
at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the
other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back
quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck
too"!
Here I sit brokenhearted
Wishing that my Chevy started
But it didn't so thats a wrap
I think I'll shoot this piece of crap
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push his chevy into the shop
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because his silverado got stuck.
first on race day
found off-road rescuing dodges
Chevrolet
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed
CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
Car Hardly Ever Vacates Yard
CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy
Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET = Chews Heads, Eats Valves, Runs Only Lousy Ets
GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company
GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming
GMC= Gay Mans Chariot
GM= General Mistake
GM= Glued Metal
GMC= Garage Man's Companion
IROC= I Run On Credit
IROC= I'm a retard out cruising
Idiotic retard Out Cruising
I reek of cologne
I really own crap
Z28= Zippy 2.8 Liter
SS= Super Slow
RS - Really ****ty
CORVETTE= Completely Over-Rated, Very Expensive, Technically Troubled Engine.
"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."
Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.
Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle
Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.
Q. How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A. Fill up the gas tank.
Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.
Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.
Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.
Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the Ford towing it.
Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
A. A tampon comes with its own tow rope
Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two Fords
Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.
Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the
shop
Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.
Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?
Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.
Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.
A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and
said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with
me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the
sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and
I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned
and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Chevy, YOU ride in it!!!"
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
our tools would rust.
From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the
road. The rest made it home.
Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65,
Chevys-do the
best you can"
Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.
Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the
rest.
Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.
You can Ford a stream, you can Dodge a stream, but a Chevy will sit
and rust in a stream.
A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he
had, how
many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man,
growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how
much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat
and said to the young
man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup
at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the
other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back
quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck
too"!
Here I sit brokenhearted
Wishing that my Chevy started
But it didn't so thats a wrap
I think I'll shoot this piece of crap
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push his chevy into the shop
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because his silverado got stuck.
#36
08-22-2018, 12:33 PM
IH
I have a Scout II. I joke with my friends who are driving the new Jeeps ( Heeps, Cheeps),” your Jeep took 40+ years to get to the point the Scouts were in the 70’s”. Seriously, look at drivetrain, suspension, size, etc. A Jeep today has very little in common with Jeeps of yesteryear....
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09-24-2018, 08:44 AM
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11-20-2018, 12:52 AM
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#42
04-28-2020, 03:54 PM
I’m gonna borrow that one! 
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