I decided to sit back and assess the situation and concluded that as long winded and self -centered as I am I should start a totally different thread to vent on. Anyone is welcome to vent their particular frustrations here as well. The main thing is that I don't want to tilt any other threads to what this is supposed to be. In other words- a separate place that won't interfere with the main focus of the rest of the threads and a place that anyone who wants to visit or contribute shouldn't be put off by the long winded rambling post I so love to create.
So - any bitch about anything is fair game here- barring moderator interference.
Anyway- for anyone who has been interested and keeping up, I recently visited a public Cancer center and got a less than stellar result. Today I got a call from Radiology Associates telling me that I had a Pet- Scan ordered. It was a different doc than I had seen, but in the same system. Now it has me wondering- was this the teacher following proper protocol for my case, or did Dr. Dummy miss something on my bloodwork?
Most likely the former, but it gives you cause to think.
Anyway- that's not my bitch for the day- (I'm thinking I may post one everyday- we'll see....), but rather the conversation I just got through having with a well- meaning Idiot.
First off- I need to set the stage for the uninitiated as to what we are dealing with here. The first thing the uninitiated need to be schooled on is the fact that Cancer is a very diverse disease with many different strains and many different levels for each strain.
So it's always a bit amusing and a bit irritating to hear people opine about Cancer and try and impart their little bits of "wisdom", when they are actually clueless. To put in perspective that most here can relate to, this is like giving someone advice on an automotive problem simply based on what someone they knew (if that) did and it worked. Now- that's pretty much like saying - well, my buddies truck wouldn't start and all he did was wiggle the positive battery post and it started right up.
For the guy with a busted timing chain, a fried computer, a rod sticking out the side of the block- this is pretty useless information. Cancer is every bit as diverse as any multitude of problems you may encounter on any particular vehicle and even as much so as to be specific to the vehicle in question. In other words, I'm a Cancer survivor, but I don't feel qualified to advise anyone who does not have the same Cancer in the same stage I was diagnosed with. Imagine what this dribble from someone who is clueless sounds like!
Anyway, that's not even it- although it's close. After mentioning the fact that I recently had ten teeth pulled and everything that's left is going to hell in a hurry... this guy wants to start to school me on dental hygiene. Well, you know, I got busy and didn't make it to the dentist for almost 15 years. When I got there I needed a badly overdue cleaning, 2 fillings and a root canal. The other (what 29?) teeth were fine. Now that was about 6 years ago, right before getting 38 radiations totalling about 690 rads.
The docs told me then that I would have to take extreme measures to save my teeth. See, the radiation destroyed the bulk of my saliva flow, and one of the benefits of saliva is that it protects the enamel of the teeth. For a long time, I went through the rituals prescribed to save my teeth. Then they started shattering out of the blue- I'm talking eating white bread and all of a sudden chomping down on huge chucks of teeth that just fell off.
It became apparent to me that best case scenario, I was only prolonging a whole set of artificial teeth. So- I really needed that dental care advice. At the same time- here it came- (such and such SOB had Cancer and he ate Homosexual *****es and he's doing fine after 10 years......) IDK- maybe it was spinach... point is- that's frigging WORTHLESS information.
OK- Let's put in perspective- I've been in remission for nearly six years. I drink too much and too often. I have quit smoking twice for nearly 2 years total since being diagnosed, but basically smoke like a chimney at the moment and a lot of the time in between....so... since I'm in remission, should we be touring the world touting the virtues of my lifestyle? I think not.
Basically- Cancer is a rod through the side of the block, and the response should be the same for both...."Dude- that sucks- Better you than me me -HA HA! I mean that's it- that F'ing simple- what else are you going to say to a guy with a rod sticking out the side of his block... Oh- hey, I new a guy who used Castrol and he never had a rod stick out the side of his block....I knew a guy who's engine wouldn't start and he wiggled .... Now you might take from this rant that I'm bitter or something, not so... I am so thankful to be breathing... but the physical damage that came along with the "cure" is a major PITA- but... what are gonna do? Which would you prefer? Life as you know it to end or life to literally end?
So- although I wish that that burden had passed me by- I try and celebrate life, and that's not what this is about. It's a primmer for all the initiated on how to not sound totally stupid when you have to converse with someone unfortunate enough to have drawn the big "C".
Rant over- for tonite.
Soooooo you threw a rod? Nah, just kiddin, frankly, I do not even know how one should respond to that except that stupid people - or inexperienced (for lack of a better word) should just keep quiet instead of proving themselves the fool.
As for you, it sounds like you overcame a hell of a feat - Is "congratulations" the right thing to say for beating the big "C"? (Seriously, what do you say?)
Looking forward to the next rant.
__________________
"A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality."
haveing survived a spouse lost to cancer, I agree with you. most people are clueless, and have to prove that point by trying to hard to "understand" then they get mad when you say go away, and leave me to my world , thank you,
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haveing survived a spouse lost to cancer, I agree with you. most people are clueless, and have to prove that point by trying to hard to "understand" then they get mad when you say go away, and leave me to my world , thank you,
You know - you reminded me of something I had almost forgot about. Somewhere- someone said, there are those of us with Cancer , and there are the rest of the world. At the time, that was very powerful and insightful, and very much the truth.
There really is nothing like facing the real possibility of dying soon and having the whole thing so undefined and out of your own personal control or even knowledge, that it's a wake up call and is a real game changer as far as your normal everyday perspective on life.
But- I had a post typed out about a totally different bitch for the day and almost posted it, until I read this one. Truth be told- I'm Cancer free after over 5 years, and probably won't have that nasty **** revisit me again, but you never know. So, I could look at my experience with Cancer as being very blessed, and for the most part, I do. As a matter of fact- day to day, I usually don't even think about it- until I have doctors appointments that bring it to light. That and the fact I'm in quite a bit of pain right now with my teeth and jaw problem, or I probably wouldn't give it much thought.
Which brings me back to the original idea of this post- a bitch thread for whatever is bugging you today. It's not about Cancer, or about trucks, it's about what pissed you off today. Believe me , I had about 5 paragraphs prepared and it had nothing to do with Cancer.
I don't want anyone to feel they need anything serious about to bitch about here. That is not the point- if anything, that is exactly the point of this thread- get it off your chest here- no matter how trivial, I'm sure along the way, we will find a lot of common ground with the simplest of bitches, and it should make us all feel better. And very soon, we will probably find something we thought was only specific to ourselves, is more widespread and common to the masses. What's the point? Misery loves company, and finding someone else dealing with the same BS can be a great stress reliever for the person struggling with that particular problem.
We may even receive some advice that helps us with what is screwing with our lives at the moment.
So- if it's your dog ****s on the floor, your boss is always picking on you, your dumb-ass blonde wife spending all your hard earned money on stupid crap, or your dumb-ass blonde blonde girlfriend spending all your money.....
Really... No, I'm mean... Really, Let's get this going with what is bothering you today, 'cause like I said- today, it ain't the Cancer, it's all about the stupidity of customers- but I'll save that for later. I certainly don't want anybody to feel they have to have problems as serious as Cancer before they post.
If you think about it, just reading about someones post about a toilet that won't quit running, will make you feel a little better, because it will give you a reason to thank God and realize that that could be you and it's not, and celebrate life a little more. ( Remember - That sucks, better you than me!)
OR- I could just post about 10 paragraphs a day on what's bothering me at the moment..........PU-Lease somebody STOP ME........
- Is "congratulations" the right thing to say for beating the big "C"? (Seriously, what do you say?)
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Yeah- what do you say to your buddy when he gets the motor back together? Congratulations is fine, that is the proper response to any body's situation improving , isn't it? Sympathy and encouragement are always appreciated when confronted with adversity- it's not hard to understand really, if the broken vehicle scenario doesn't quite do it for you, how about when you are down with a cold or flu? Think about it- what do you want to hear? Does it make a ****? No, the best thing is someone saying - oh man that sucks- I'm glad it isn't me.
Now, it wouldn't ever occur to the average person to come out and say something like- "better you than me" to a Cancer patient, but you probably wouldn't think twice to say that to someone with a cold or flu. Well everyone is different, and some may not receive that as well as others, but the truth is, and this is indisputable, the vast majority of Cancer survivors have one thing in common, and that is a positive attitude.
Now- "Better you than me" may seem like a cruel and unthinking thing to say to someone on the outside, but remember, think about having the flu or a cold. How many times have you heard that when stricken by either? Well, something along those lines serves two purposes to the Cancer patient receiving it. First- it is an honest response, and eases the tension about the whole situation, and by doing so reduces the seriousness of the affliction suffered by the Cancer victim, while confirming the fact that you understand the suffering the victim is going through.
You see, Cancer should never be looked at as a terminal disease. Unfortunately, that is the first thing the outsider thinks about and that is how they respond to to the victim. I'm not saying you should make such light of it as to make a joke of it- but pretty much treat it as you would someone with a bad case of the flu. See, the flu kills about (is it 20,000 or 200,000, IDK), people a year in the US, so you shouldn't really treat a Cancer patient any differently than your buddy with the flu.
Either one is potentially fatal. The biggest difference is usually when you survive the flu, you recover to be the same person you were before. With Cancer, the treatments are so radical that you are changed for life. At this point, they haven't figured out how to treat the Cancer without serious collateral damage.
At one time during my radiation treatment, I told another Cancer patient that I felt like they were on the verge of discovery of a Cancer treatment that would make the common treatment seem barbaric. I alluded to the "Star Trek" movie scene where Bones gives a kidney patient a pill that grows him a new kidney and eliminates the need for him to have dialysis anymore. I think maybe the guy didn't appreciate so much because I added- "of course we'll both be dead by the time they have that, ain't that a bitch to miss it by that much?" Some people have no sense of humor......
Anyway, this should help the AWP, (Average White Person)- (don't ask me why I threw that in - I have NO clue myself- maybe AWB - average white band-IDK......) but really, it means the average person, I think maybe the reason I linked to a specific different identity is that even among my own race, there really is a difference to those intimate with Cancer and those uninitiated.
Okay - my bitch for theday? Driving my kids to school, and some moron tries to merge into my lane as the merge lane is ending, and then once it has ended, passes me on the shoulder. It is one thing when I am by myself (because I might have chased him down, or not let him in, or done nothing - who knows) BUT my kids were in the car, and it put it into a whole different ball game. Something could have happened to them because of this pile of **** who had to prove his point. I could not chase, I had to watch what I said, and I had to swallow it down. I despise people once you put them in a car.
__________________
"A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality."
Hey- Lighten up and control your road rage A-Hole! No - I'm kidding, Truth is - as far as I'm concerned most of the people accused of road rage are actually just a little less tolerant of the asinine BS that the idiots like you described commit all too frequently.
I used to suffer from road rage, but more importantly, I was in a constant state of rage. I couldn't and didn't see it at the time, but in reality, I was looking for a reason to be pissed off at somebody, for any reason at any time.
I very nearly committed suicide a few months back. Had the gun to my head, and was an itch away from squeezing off the shot. Going through the Cancer, I developed a severe case of depression that I have to have medicine to control. Without it, for some reason I want to drink alcohol to excess, which only intensifies the problem at hand. I was in financial trouble at the time and my depression med is about $250 a script. So I had been on a heavy drinking binge for about a month. It takes about a week for the anti-depressant medicine to really kick in and restore me to a state of relative normalcy (HA HA... I never was right and never will be...).
Anyway- my wife called my doc and asked if there was a cheaper med I could take. The receptionist said that a patient had changed his prescription and had surrendered the exact med that I needed, and we could come and get it for free. So this was about 4 days before I put the gun to my head.
First off- what are the chances of someone surrendering a script anyway? My exact medicine? 4 days before I was a 1/2" away from death?
I suddenly realized that this was a miracle- pure and simple and no less than. I thought that as close as I was to going through with suicide at that point- if I hadn't had had 4 days of that med in me, I would have done it. And then of course there is the Cancer I survived, and way more close encounters that a deviant lifestyle had brung me close to death than we have time to go into here.... So at that point- I realized- God wants me here for a reason. He has a plan for me. So I said- God, I don't know what you want from me, but I give myself to you to do what you will.
Now- some people talk about the moment they found the Lord as something wonderful and a feeling of comfort coming into them. Not for me. I was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness- I started weeping, and I felt a feeling of misery that is almost indescribable. I thought- why would God put such pain on me when I had given myself to him? I then realized, God was not giving me pain-he had taken away the rage that had consumed me for so many years that I couldn't feel anything else but rage. For a while, I would cry at the wrong times and laugh at the wrong times, because it was pretty much like feeling for the first time, and I wasn't used to the emotions.
Anyway- one of the first things I noticed was that I was driving slower, and nothing anyone was doing on the road bothered me anymore. I just wanted to get where I was going without any problems. I quit letting the stupidity and arrogance of the other people affect me. Don't get me wrong- I still know they are jerks and it still irritates me when I see some idiot driving like a drunk with a cell stuck to their ear, but I now have a calm in my soul that I've never known before, and it really doesn't get to me like before.
Oh- Crap, I forgot... this is supposed to be a bitch thread....
OK- Almost forgot. My bitch for the day. I really hate to bring up anything Cancer related- cause I got plenty else, but right at the moment, something is really bothering me that is.
I've already covered the teeth thing, and the lack of saliva, and I think this may be related to the lack of saliva.
I used to be a chile head. It took years to get there, but I could eat a jalapeno and wash it down with a gulp of Louisiana hot sauce. I'm serious, people would freak to see me drink Louisiana hot sauce like soda, but I could. I wasn't totally impervious to capsicum, I was working on building up a tolerance for Habaneros. I was eating one a day, but having to do it by eating tiny slices with a sandwich. I kinda enjoyed the fruitiness of them, but really hadn't got to the point where I could really chow down on them like jalapenos.
Anyway- I just got through trying to eat some tortilla chips with some anemic queso on them and they were just outside the level of heat that I could handle. These days Taco Bell mild sauce is about my limit. It's really frustrating at times and here's the real kicker- Back when- there wasn't really much spicy food out there. Most of the stuff billed as spicy- was pretty lame. Now hot is cool, and burger joints are turning up the heat.
It's spicy this and spicy that- and it's everywhere. Ah- Hot Hot everywhere and not a drop to eat. MAN! I really miss eating hot stuff.
Thanks Doug, I think my biggest gripe is not with the stresses of these morons - it is the fact that now since I have kids, I realize how much people are morons in general. Just crossing the street with kids, no one seems to stop or even slow down. Courtesy is just gone. If it is just me, it is one thing, but I have 3 young ones that I am looking out for and stressing off of.
__________________
"A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality."
That reminded me of something. There was an idiot running up and down the side street at 60+ MPH on a motorcycle a while back. He had his girl on the back and I don't know if he was trying to show off or scare the hell out of her. I don't mind someone getting on it hard up to the speed limit or a little over but he was going too fast for any residential street. Now heres what really p'd me off about this jerk. There were school buses letting Elementary kids off on that street at the time.
I was torn between calling the cops or grabbing a gun.
haveing survived a spouse lost to cancer, I agree with you. most people are clueless, and have to prove that point by trying to hard to "understand" then they get mad when you say go away, and leave me to my world , thank you,
I know sort of what you mean. I lost my dad to cancer when I was still in high school and its hard when they try to get in there and pry when it would be nice to have them just leave you alone.
Van o- I hear you. I'm in very much the same shape. My daughter is dating a guy that can't do anything that's not virtual. He knows computers and video games (don't all 19 year olds?) I can't figure out if that's a good or bad thing.
All the people I know who have money can't fix anything. And guys like us are barely making bill money these days. I don't remember where, but I heard someone saying the housing market was on it's way back up.
Let's hope so.
The irony is that people with the money look down on you until they need you - then it is an emergency and you are expected to bend over backwards to accomodate them...until you are done. They pay you little, complain about it, and then go back to treating you like crap - until they need you again. It is a vicious circle.
__________________
"A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality."
Yep, and here's another thing. I trimmed out a house for a guy whose net worth was about 24 million dollars. Now the way this guy saw it, all the subs on that job were out to get a piece of his money. He told me as much. What he could never realize was that we were just trying to make a living and that really all we were selling was our time and we charged him the same as anyone else.
In his mind, we were out to get his cash, and the less we got, the more he was winning the game. Needless to say, this was a cost plus job, without the plus. He also had a bad habit of leaving town on Fridays, without paying off the subs or leaving any provisions to do so. He couldn't relate to the fact that some people live paycheck to paycheck and can't just float a bunch of money. See, he couldn't relate to what having no money was like. I never let any of my guys go without a paycheck. Sometimes I had to tell them to meet me at the house in an hour or so, because I had to pawn the tools to make payroll. They got paid and I spent the weekend broke.
What the guy never did figure out though was that every time he pulled that crap, next weeks invoice was $100 higher than it would have been. But the main thing that always bothered me about this guy was and this goes for the builders as well.... is every time there is a dispute on price, it's the little guy sub that has to eat it. Not the builder living in the $350,000 house and driving the brand spanking new Hummer. Not the multimillionaire. The guy that's barely frigging getting by!
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