Ideas for a nosy snooper - Page 2

first today · #16 (**permalink**) 10-21-2009, 10:16 PM

I too agree that farm forward is spot on. I read his post at 7 a.m. and repped him right away.

I wonder if I were to act towards Joe only, the way he acts to everyone, if it would really annoy him.
I could tell him how the customers think I am such a great replacement for him since I do such nicer finish work than him. I could tell him how they like the clean hole that I make in the roof is better than what they saw Joe had done in the showroom...etc.

powerstroke72 · #17 (**permalink**) 10-22-2009, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FarmForward

Guys like him are all over the place, and they thrive on the attention they get, and feel that they deserve all they get and more, because, simply put, they feel that they are "better" than everyone else and deserve to be recognized for it. It props up their sense of self-esteem ("People are listening to what I have to say because I'm respected', etc.). So they figure that they'd better keep the talking up, or else they'll lose their audience. And they'll talk to anybody about anything. They'll take every infraction, no matter how trivial, to higher authority; they'll complain about not getting the respect they "deserve" (which they "deserve" because they are smart and experienced and always right); they will lie and twist meanings to show themselves in the best light, and they will see others as being "beneath" them. Even if the other person is their boss/superior/richer than them, etc., this kind of personality will rationalize that to anything except hard work and ability, i.e., they got their position by kissing up or knowing somebody or lies and distortion of the facts and do not deserve to be rewarded for it, while the attention prostitute feels that he has been overlooked unfairly. The attention prostitute is NEVER at fault. He is simply doing his best to share his knowledge/skills/opinions with those parts of the world that are'nt as smart/generous/caring as he is, and instead of the world kissing his... feet, shall we say, he has to soldier on as best as he can and do what he can to right the wrongs he's forced to endure. It's always about THEM, remember.

Fortunately, this sort is easily spotted, and the best advice I have after spotting them is to simply do what you can to ignore them. Nothing you can do will cause them to alter their behaviour, because to their way of thinking, they do not NEED to change. They're always right, remember, and if they do get humiliated, it's simply a case of you lashing out against them because YOU have a problem with the fact that they are so smart, respected, etc., and if you do point out their shortcomings, they immediately go into "defense" mode, and will make things difficult for you.

My advice, although I've been known not to follow it myself in the past, is to simply ignore the attention prostitutes of the world, because even negative attention is attention for them. Every one of this type that I've had the misfortune to come across has never been able to fool all of the people all of the time. In the end, they get exposed for what they really are.

Outstanding post FF!! I tried to rep you but got the message.....again.

Kyle, I really need to get my eyes checked again....I thought the thread title was "ideas for a noisy pooper"....LOL.

These guys are everywhere Kyle. I see them all the time and I work with a few. A former police chief where I grew up told the tallest tales of anyone I've ever met. He once told a class in the high school that he was the original founding member of the Navy Seals. He said that he trained Steven Seagal in all of his martial arts. Told another group that he was leading a platoon through the jungle in Vietnam and ran up on a 5,000 pound Siberian Tiger. Said he stroked it between the eyes three times, put it to sleep, and led his guys past it. He told yet another group that he was leading a platoon through the jungle and the enemy attacked and killed everybody but him. Said he lived under water breathing through a bamboo shoot for three days while the enemy searched for him and when he got hungry, he stopped breathing, caught a fish, ate it, and started breathing again.

He is a complete idiot. I told him one time that if he'd done everything he said he had, he'd have to be 113 years old. He stopped telling me his stories then. I tried to ignore him but he's such a complete moron, I just couldn't ignore it anymore. Sooner or later, this junk catches up to everybody though and the truth will come out. And, most of the time, these sorts that are legends in their own minds, foul up and everybody sees them for what they really are. Don't let him get under your skin. To a lot of these goofballs, that's exactly what they want and they thrive on it.

rebocardo · #18 (**permalink**) 10-22-2009, 02:03 AM

That type probably pees in the coffee.

Gottaford · #19 (**permalink**) 10-22-2009, 02:14 AM

I was going to suggest to just ignore him because people like this seem to want to get a reaction and if you don't react they eventually move on to someone they think they can get a reaction from, but the more I read the more I'm reminded of my favorite Uncle. He was a bragger like you wouldn't believe. He even said he did the Death March, but my father (his brother) said 'No Way.' When he would send me jewelry for my Birthday he'd say it was pure gold but it wasn't. At first it hurt me to know that he was lying until I figured that he was probably just doing it to get attention and kudos that he never got from his parents whom were very cold critters, which I think caused my Dad to be cold as well. I guess this treatment affected my Uncle in a different way because he seemed to have a warmer temperament then they had and I guess their coldness and lack of praise for things well done when he was young caused him to seek praise and admiration elsewhere even if he had to lie to get it. How sad. So instead of trying to prove my Uncle wrong, or blow him off for lying, I just let him think that I believed that he made the march and that he had sent me pure gold if that's what made him feel good. At least he wasn't trying to hurt me with his lies. He was trying to make me feel special to have sent gold, and wanted me to think that he was special by saying that he made the Death March.

Anyway ... that guy must have been hurt really bad to be acting in such a way and maybe sympathy would be better than criticism ... and no, I really don't think that anything you do or say will change him.

Snowbunny · #20 (**permalink**) 10-22-2009, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by donjamer

When he is around just tell the person you are talking to that we will continue this later and walk away.. This way he doesn't have a stage to spew his garbage.. Maybe then he will get the message..

I seriously doubt he will ever get the message, but I wholeheartedly agree to stop giving him a stage to play out his drama!!! As soon as he approaches, just stop talking or even walk away. You will feel better and he won't be able to play his little game and get under your skin,,, for the moment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gottaford

As far as his snooping in ya all's desks.... How about putting notes in them in big bold print saying that he is being watched and recorded,,,

This is a most excellent idea!!! I love it!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIGKEN

I'm very familiar with one like you've described. To listen to this person talk about himself you would think that he has saved the world...singlehandedly!!! Of course...most...if not all...of his braggadocio has been continuously proven to be outright lies.

I too know several people exactly like this!!! One used to frequent FTE!! But he no longer bothers to play his little game here. Thank GOD!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by first today

I wonder if I were to act towards Joe only, the way he acts to everyone, if it would really annoy him.

Oh, God,, Please don't lower yourself to his level. It will not make you feel better in the long run!!

stormyrider · #21 (**permalink**) 10-22-2009, 11:56 AM

If you know anybody in security, they have a dust availiable that you can leave on a box on your desk. Anyone who touches it will get the dust on thier hands. It reacts with the natural moisture in the skin and dyes the any skin contact areas a bright purple. It is a permanent dye and won't was off, has to wear off over a couple of weeks time.

cigarxtc · #22 (**permalink**) 10-22-2009, 06:18 PM

hehe....i'm a great pranker and i love to get and give a good safe/tasteful prank. If you really wanted to get this guys goat, try the following:

Use your company letter head to type up a fake promotion recommendation letter from your boss. Have it explain that management has seen great improvement in your work recently and that they would like to offer you the position that your coworker has. Put in some bogus money compensation and start dates. Then leave it and a company envelope conspicously on your desk, but under a couple items. Maybe have just a part of it sticking out so anyone that passes by can study it and see your coworkers name. I would bet money that he would see his name, move your stuff to get to it and read the letter. Then, if he is mentally stable, then he will throw a hissy fit and run to management or he will start distancing his self from you. If he is mentally unstable...well, then maybe dont use this.(If you know he goes through your drawers then i would put it in your top desk drawer.)

Something else I've always wanted to try: get a bunch of E.D. medicince and Antifungal medicine coupons mailed to your work but in his name. That might shut him up for a while? lol.

7.3 Rocket · #23 (**permalink**) 10-22-2009, 06:56 PM

I've got a kid like this in my class. Used to claim he was going to rebuild a 60s Mustang from the ground up and that would be his first car. I told him doing a rebuild properly in your free time can take over 5 years depending on how bad the car was. And it's expensive. Wouldn't believe me.

One time he told me his uncle had a speedboat and they were fishing off of it off he cost of Rhode Island and he caught a stingray. Then he said the speedboat had a V8 engine in it. I asked him "Oh is it a rotary V8?" "Oh yeah it's a rotary V8 and it's really fast and blablabla" Right in front of the entire class. I told him "There's no such thing as a rotary V8" For the next 6 months or so he barely said 5 words to me. Once he realized that I drive a modded PSD that WILL burn the tires he started to listen to what I had to say when it came to cars.

first today · #24 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 02:51 PM

Well, I just got sent home for the day by Joe.

Yesterday there was a contractor who held up my work making it impossible for me to finish the last two houses that he needed fireplaces in. I called Joe and told him that they were still not ready and he said to leave the job site. This morning he starts in telling me that the contractor called and said that we did not complete any of the four fireplaces to be done. (He did this in front of the owner of our company.) I told him that two were complete and two were not. I said I told you this yesterday. I then went on a small scale explosion.

I went back in later an apologized to our owner and explained that I am really at an end with Joe's accusatory tone every morning. The owner said that he understands and that he knows how things stand.

About 10:45 a.m. I called Joe to tell him that I would not make it to the third job because I was still working on the high pitch roof of the second job. The third job had written that it had to be done before 11:00a.m. today. Joe told me to call the lady and let her know. I did not call and went back up on my roof to finish my work. We were done at 11:30a.m. At 12:30p.m. Joe called and said we have to go to the third job and that I should have called her. I went to the shop at 12:40 and told my helper to stay as far from me as possible. I brought Joe in the back warehouse and BLEW UP.

I told him that I did what I was supposed to by calling him since I can not tell the customer to reschedule a job. That is Joe's responsibility. I said that I and everyone have had it with his nosiness and snooping. I also told him that he is a walking contradiction who is never wrong and that I am completely fed up with him and all of his sneakiness and lying. When he could not get a word in or come near to matching my volume, he turned very red and told me to go home. I did. I will let you know the rest of the outcome as it unfolds.

I feel so much better now.

first today · #25 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 05:12 PM

Update: Joe did not tell the boss that he sent me home. He said that I was sick, so he would have to go do my last two jobs. He is such a liar. He is afraid to tell the boss the reasons why, because he is in the wrong. The other supervisors are thrilled to see Joe in the hot seat.

Snowbunny · #26 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 05:14 PM

I sure hope you have had a conversation with your boss!!!

FarmForward · #27 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 07:37 PM

First off, wanna say thanks for all the comments and reps about my earlier post in this thread. Appreciated them all very much.

So things came to a head today, did they? I can't say I blame you, Kyle, since that's simply human nature to want to blow off steam. But it can be harmful in the long run. This Joe guy sounds like the type who'll stop at nothing to retaliate. He's already sent you home, right? Remember how the attention prostitute handles conflict, like I said above. HE is never wrong, and he'll use anything at his disposal to paint himself in the best light. Who's to say he won't go to the owners and say that you threatened him physically? If so, then he's the "victim" of your temper, and all he was doing was trying to make sure work got done. Never trust someone like him to do the right thing, because they simply WILL NOT take any of the blame for things going wrong. It is NEVER their fault (although I suspect if things had gone right, he would've been the first one to take credit).

Like I said, I don't blame you for blowing up at him, and I've done the same thing before. But yelling at him did nothing to change him, and most likely did just the opposite. He may lay low and not get in your way for awhile, but guys like him don't ever stop. He has the authority to send you home, and explain your absence, so that tells me he has contact with the higher-up's of the company. Well, he'll use that to his advantage. Remember, he is NOT looking out for any interests but his own. Not yours, not the company, only his own. Do not trust him, ever, and make sure that your side of the story gets to the owner. I guarantee you that if his take on the story has'nt gotten to them already, it will be when they open up Monday morning. You may have not punched him in the mouth, but in a way, what you did do was even worse as far as the attention prostitute looks at things. You humiliated him. You hit him in the most vulnerable spot he has... sqarely in his over-inflated sense of self-importance. You made him hear what your true feelings are, and they are'nt what he has built himself up to be in his own mind. He's important, remember, because people listen to HIM, and people respect HIM because he is always right. Well, you told him the opposite, and made him wonder, even if it was just for a fraction of a second, if maybe you're not the only one who thinks that. Laying bare the foundations of his whole personality is'nt something a guy like him wants done. It's the old fairy tale about the emperor's new clothes. The attention prostitute can't stand the thought that people might think he's just an ordinary little man whom nobody listens to. He's not going to like that, and he will be formulating a plan to deal with combatting it. It's all about HIM... always. Remember that. He has a position of power over you. To his way of thinking, he deserves that power (and more), and the respect that comes with it. Your blow-up shows "disrespect", which he cannot allow, because if the people under him show him no respect, then it's only a matter of time until those above him do the same. So, with that at stake, he'll do anything to protect his position, and nothing is out of bounds when it comes to that protection, including you losing your job. In fact, that would be the best thing to happen to him, because he could spin that into a "Kyle did'nt show respect and look what happened to him" thing to keep others in line. Having an attention prostitute with a bit of power has got to be one of the worst things to deal with in the workplace, because they feel perfectly justified in bullying others to "remind" them that they ARE in power.

I know how frustrating it can be dealing with someone like this, believe me. I still feel the best way of dealing with it is to simply avoid him, although like I've said, I've ignored my own advice many times. Wanting to punch him in the mouth is perfectly normal, but I hope you won't, because that would make him the "victim" and you the bad guy. Watch out for yourself, Kyle, and good luck to you.

first today · #28 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 09:03 PM

Farm forward, I so wish I could rep you again.

The weird part of all of this is that he is retiring within the year. He has told everyone that I am the guy to see. I have dealt with this for seven years and could not take anymore today.

I was just with a couple of other supervisors who say that he was running his mouth a little this afternoon. He said if I come to work monday with the same attitude he will send me home again. They told him he is the one that needs to leave for good.

I am not sure what will happen but I have always bounced back. I told one former employer years ago, I may not have money or a degree, but I do have pride and a great family of friends. In this way I will always be better and richer than you could ever be.

I will now have a great weekend and make Joe panic when I am not at work at 7:30 a.m. monday. The other supervisors really have my back. I will guarantee he will be calling to find out if I am coming in.

Snowbunny · #29 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by first today

I may not have money or a degree, but I do have pride and a great family of friends. In this way I will always be better and richer than you could ever be.

More people need to figure this out, and the world will be a much better place!!! Great attitude!!! Enjoy your weekend!!

Texas Outlaw · #30 (**permalink**) 10-24-2009, 10:13 AM

I used to work with a guy like that. He was in everyone's business and told the biggest, whopper lies you had ever heard.

His biggest lie was the time that he told everyone in the lunchroomn that his father had been the pilot of the Enola Gay and had flown the mission over Hiroshima. Me, being a follower of military history, called him out on it and asked why was the pilot's last name Tibbits and his Kuhlman. He stuttered and stammered and came back with, "Well, it was my step dad".

What I ended up doing to him was I pulled every reader service card I could find from those trade journals that are mailed to plants (I work for a company that builds oilwell drills), and I filled them out with his name and then circled several numbers randomly for information. I would put various job titles on them like "Nuclear Hamburger Welder", "CEO", Atomic Physicist" and on and on.

This guy got TONS of mail every day at the plant. The job titles would catch everyone's eye and it was hilarious. He always suspected me of being behind it but he could never prove it.

He ended up retiring and moving way up into the mountains to live the good life. I still hear from him occasionally and yeah, he still tells whoppers.

Oh one more thing, this guy didn't need to tell lies to impress people. He is EXTREMELY talented. Builds his own airplanes from scratch and then flies them, builds jet boats, hot rods, custom trucks, all kinds of things. Very talented guy. He was also the one that taught me to weld. It's just for some reason he felt that he had to make stuff up.