in my 30 some years of bicycle shop wisdom and trying to teach all the little b@#$%^&s how to fix something and them not getting it I would always tell them"You have to be smarter than the thing you're working on"....kind of funny now cause the twenty somethings come in and say" you always said that saying!"

Michigan Rick

 

More often that I would like...

(It's a geezer thing ya know...)

 

Takeoffs are optional...landings are mandatory.

 

My wife was the best I could do with the car i had at the time.(she knows i say this and laughs)

 

In customer service, "I will bend over backwards to help you, but I'm NOT going bend over FORWARDS".
in the shop, "fast is the new slow!"
"think in 3D"

 

A couple of my favorites:

sharp as a marble

bright as a ten watt light bulb

 

Are your ears in your ****? Asked my grandaughter this a few years ago and she came right back with " NO GRANDMA THEY ARE RIGHT HERE" pointing to her ears LOL

 

A few from my farming upbringing:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than an 8N tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

* Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you...

* Hope is not a good strategy

* Wish in one hand, s**t in the other and see which one fills up the fastest

* Leadership is a combination of character and strategy, if you must be without one, be without a strategy

 

I believe Mark Twain said, "Man is the only animal that blushes - nor needs to!"

 

I started with nothing and have most of it left.
The wheel is turning, but the hampster is dead
He/she has a full six pack, just missing the plastic thing holding it together.
Hire the handicap, they are fun to watch...I know,I know, sorry, but dad always said it.