THIS IS GOOD & THIS IS TRUE!

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other,
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on
the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!
If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the **** or get your
paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door.
I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...

 

"Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:"

(12) can have a brother or sister in just hours;
All I have to do is visit the Humane Society.

Current household;
Me; Rachel, wife; Shannon, daughter
DOGS;
Cupcake,
Shadow
Harley
Easy Boy
Sebastian
Kayla
CATS;
Aiden
Teddy
ALL ADOPTED!
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHELTER
Member ASPCA

 

Free To Good Home

Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew him as 'Holy S**t.'




Sit ubu, sit....... ah good boy !

 

what a MOOSE! Who needs a handgun and an alarm system with him on watch. Nice doggy. What does that dog weigh?

 

Ben...thanks for sharing that with us. I've said it before...and I'll say it again..."The more people I meet...the better I like dogs"!!!

 

"If you feed a starving dog, he will not bite you. That is the principle difference between a dog and a man." -Mark Twain

 

I printed it for my dog, he didn't get it? he says he didn't see any problems with laying cross ways on the king size bed.

 

I'm gonna hang that list.

Nothing irritates me more than when people are at my house and they complain about the dog/cat. They live here. You knew they lived here when you decided to come. They just want to say hi and meet a new person. Stop being a jerk.

 

Maybe you should get him a 'bark-a-lounger'.

 

I'd rather deal with most peoples pets than their kids....

 

I can't help but love my friends pets when I go over there, I've even gone over and taken their pets home with me for a night before. Get one friends puppy for a week starting tonight.

 

Hope he's house broken...

 

My Labs know they rule the roost, hell they are telling me its dinner time NOW!!

 

He is this time, last time I babysat him for a week he was about 15 weeks old, made a few messes that time, but I love the little guy!

 

Very very cool. I fully agree with BK and sympathize with heilifixer, except mine is just a queen sz and Sassy is a king sz!!!