Number 12 - Life is sexually transmitted. Number 11 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 10 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich!Number 9 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.Number 8 - Some people are like Slinkies..... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.Number 7 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying inhospitals dying of nothing.Number 6 - Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.Number 5 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.Number 4 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?Number 3 - In the 1960's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.Number 2 - Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2009: Terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas for as long as 10-15 years.
Now take Blockbuster - You're two days late with a video rental and those people are all over you..... Perhaps we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.