thanks John and Tom.......for having my back in my absence.....
I dont really recall asking anyone to remember him, I believe my request was for prayer for myself, my children and my brothers family in what was a difficult time.....and all the support and prayers were definitely well received and much appreciated
again thank you for your friendship......I still have some pretty tough moments at times.....and the toughest are yet to come with the next years holidays.......
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
__________________ *~*Tammie*~*TheOne and Only WeeVee Peepette "When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels" "Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery." "Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last."
absolutely no need to apologize at all......that is one great thing about this site, people here seem to take to genuinely caring about the other members here....I kinda figured I would feel out of place here, as I only joined to become a part of something my wonderful partner seemed to like so much.......but each person who has befriended me, and that I have befriended has put it all into better perspective.....
I admit, I was a bit sore by your questions, but was without complete understanding....
it is tough to lose a loved one, no matter who they were to you, they were a part of you just the same.....I lost Daddy 4 years ago and it still stings at times, he was my resource with parenting and life itself......when I lost him, I thought I had lost everything. Then I realized that I still had to accomplish my parenting task, as he made sure I knew how proud he was of me for being the mother I am and for raising my babies as I was in the midst of all the turmoil that was going on in my life.......
I lost it for about six months: didnt want to get out of bed, didnt want my kids to hug me or even talk to me, I relied on the oldest ones to take care of the younger ones, to cook, clean, and do all of MY jobs that I should have been doing.....then one morning after waking up from a dream (at least I think it was a dream) I realized my Daddy loved me for who I was, not for who I was turning into.....I woke up alive again for the first time in 6 months and things started getting back to normal.........
my brother lived a rough life, alot of it was by his choice, some of it was by choices others made for him.....but ultimately HE was in control of who he had become.....he was a hard working man, a GREAT father, and the BEST brother anyone could have hoped for.......he had serious health problems brought on by the many years of abuse he inflicted upon himself, yet he came to realize he wasnt doing himself or anyone who loved him any favors by continuing to travel down that path and unfortunately, just when he realized what life was really all about, just when he made the choice to do the right thing for his family, just when he had found the Ricky that we all knew existed, he was fallen by the very life he was trying to escape......it will take me a long time to come to terms with this loss, as he was very special to me, and he was truly a wonderful person, he would help anyone he possibly could.....he was compassionate and too forgiving most of the time, much like I am, and it caused situations where too many times someone would take advantage of him over and over again.....but yet he always forgave and started new......he and I, although raised in seperate households for most of our lives were so much alike it was uncanny......I always wanted to grow up to be like him, but strived to be nothing like him at all (if that made any sense)......ultimately, he was my big brother.....and I loved him.
sorry to babble on as such, but he is one topic that I could go on and on about......
you on the other hand, I know nothing about, I do not know how difficult it is to bury my own child (I have buried a fully developed fetus of my own) not one that I had raised for years and watched grow on the outside......I am terribly sorry for your loss, and I hope that you dont think that I am heartless, as I am not......people are important to me, and their feelings are something that I cannot handle if they are in a negative manner......I dont like to see someone else hurting, I do love to help people and if I can take away 'some' of their pain, just by listening I am there for them.....so.....you know how to get in touch with me......I am here.....let me know if you ever care to talk, and I promise to just listen, unless asked to do otherwise.
sometimes...........we need an outlet that is seperated from our own life, someone from the outside, someone who might be able to give us a much needed different perspective on things we are seeing only from our views.....
kenjh, THANK YOU, for bringing this back up.....this has been one more baby step that I needed to take in dealing with my loss, not just the loss of my brother, but the loss of Daddy, as well......if there is any way I can help you deal with yours.....just holler for me, I will be there~~
again, I am sorry for your loss~
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
__________________ *~*Tammie*~*TheOne and Only WeeVee Peepette "When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels" "Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery." "Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last."
Late to post(I just now found this thread)...14Jan09...RIP Dad. My real father. We weren't close until Nan died in '06 and he was almost immediately on my door step making up for the past. In '08 he was diagnosed with the same crap Nan had. About a million to 1 probability of 1 family having 2 cases of Small cell lung cancer. He didn't suffer like Nan. His heart gave out the morning of 14Jan while waiting for the nurse to take him out for his AM cigarette.
Never had to do morphine, never was in pain that he let on. That was a blessing.
I'm sorry we didn't have more time to fix the yrs we had issues. It is what it is!
__________________ *~*Tammie*~*TheOne and Only WeeVee Peepette "When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels" "Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery." "Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last."
Tammy, hope all is well and you are getting along better with each passing day. Carl, so sorry to hear of your loss as well. God bless and God speed to both of you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________ John
2005 F-250 SD Lariat CC 4x4 6.0 TS Auto.
2007 GMC Yukon Denali
John, THANK YOU, I am getting better with each day that passes....and posts that wind me up like previous ones here help me through the process......
Carl, I am very appreciative of your friendship, but ya gotta watch out posting it in public, man........Sassy will kill me if she thinks I 'really' like you!!! {{{{hugs}}}}
__________________ *~*Tammie*~*TheOne and Only WeeVee Peepette "When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels" "Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery." "Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last."
Great to hear! Just know that we're all here for you and wish you nothing but the best. Hopefully, the coming year will bring you more healing and closure and many happy occasions that will help offset the emotional roller coaster you've been on. God bless you and I'll be thinking of you.
__________________ John
2005 F-250 SD Lariat CC 4x4 6.0 TS Auto.
2007 GMC Yukon Denali
I know this, Carl....it is part of our (hers and mine) agreement
how ya feeling with all this, Carl?? you doing ok??
__________________ *~*Tammie*~*TheOne and Only WeeVee Peepette "When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels" "Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery." "Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last."
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