Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini."
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "168".
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini".
Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.
He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says,
"So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

 

 

How I learned to mind my own business :

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,
And all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'



The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a
Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see
What was going on.....

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!









Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

 

This morning on the Interstate,95
I looked over to my left and there was a


Woman

In a brand new
Cadillac


Doing 65 mph


With her
Face up next to her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

For a couple seconds !


And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,


Still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily.



But she scared me so much;
I dropped


My electric shaver ,


Which knocked

The donut

Out of my other hand. !

In all The confusion of trying
To straighten out the car


Using my knees against
The steering wheel,


It knocked

My Cell Phone


Away from my ear


Which fell


Into the coffee

Between my legs!


Splashed,


And burned


Big Jim and the Twins,


Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,


And disconnected an
Important call.


Damn women drivers

 

D'oh....


> Subject: Blondes password for her computer


During a recent password audit, it was found that
a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy







When asked why such a big password, she said,








that it had to be at least 8 characters long.

 

Ahahaha, just saw that Phil good one!

 

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

 

That is just too true but funny.

 

HAHA, thats classic!

 

For those of us who use our trucks to haul our bikes, the "Real Biker"! .............

YouTube - The Poser Biker

 

Good one George!!

 

Please dont tell thats what your bike looks like George To funny

 

No, my Volusia's wheelbase is 5 inches longer than an 883, and is 8 inches longer overall, but is 40 pounds lighter! Have to drop the tailgate to haul the bike, so I left the tailgate in Seaford when I went to West Virginia to pick up my bike!

(Went straight to the manufacturers' sites to find "accurate" figures....... )

George thinks I'm too old for motorcycles, but I don't think that is even possible. Or maybe I'm just young at heart!

You know the old saying,
" You may have to grow older, but you never have to grow up! "

 

What i do to you..

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Sent to me by Big George,

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.


(I'm at this level.)


After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.